This article is about how my friends became NRIs and PIOs and went from decent people to being the biggest pricks ever. To start off with, some definitions:

NRI – Non-Resident Indian. Basically an Indian living abroad while still holding Indian citizenship. Prick Level 1.

PIO – Person of Indian Origin. Basically a person born an Indian citizenship, who has since taken up citizenship in another country. Prick Level 2.

I have already written about NRIs in general, this post is specifically how my friends turned into pricks once they moved abroad.

Prick 1

I have written about Prick 1 before. Even though our relationship was strained after he failed to get me into a Ponzi scheme, we used to text frequently and were friendly. Then came the big Australia PR exodus and he left to live in Australia and cut off more or less all contact with me. We still kept in touch, but it was one-sided. He replies to my texts, but has never contacted me on his own, not once in the last 10 years. But at least he replies, which is more than I can say about the next one.

Prick 2

Prick 2 and I used to be colleagues and really good friends. We frequently met outside work and our families knew each other well. We shared details of our personal lives with each other. Then came the big Australia PR exodus and he left to live in Australia and cut off more or less all contact with me. But unlike Prick 1, Prick 2 went one step further and refused to even respond to my messages. He does read messages, just doesn’t bother to reply. One day, out of the blue, I received a call from him saying that he’s in Delhi and if I wanted the honour of meeting him, I would have to come over within the next hour or lose the opportunity. What “friend”, calls someone to meet on the last day of their trip within a 1 hour time slot?

But still not the biggest prick in this list.

Also, Prick 1 and Prick 2 were friends with each other in India, too, now both live in Sydney but avoid each other at all costs.

Prick 3

To be honest, Prick 3 was a prick from the day he was born (Probably because he was from Chandigarh), but his prickliness touched new heights once he moved to Australia (I see a pattern here). He was my senior and a roommate in college and we lost touch afterwards. I made an effort to re-establish contact in recent years. Unfortunately, soon, he planned a trip to Bangkok and asked to meet. From the second I met him, his behaviour was grotesque. Below are some gem dialogues I got to hear

1. Scurvy I know you live in Thailand and that is nice and all, but you must make an effort to move to a developed country. There’s no comparison.
2. I worked on Wall Street for many years. You know, like in the movies.
3. This club in Bangkok weren’t letting us in, till we flashed our AU/US passports and at that point they fell on our feet.
4. I hate it when people call me Indian. I am Australian, not Indian.
5. There’s going to be rain tonight and I am afraid my pools may overflow (Proceeds to call wife to drain the pool many times).
6. You know I have 2 houses in Sydney.
7. You know I have 3 cars. One of them is 2-seater.
8. Ew, your locality feels like Pune.

Prick 4

Prick 4 is still a good friend of mine. But he is kind of a prick now. Prick 4 moved to UK many years ago and although he was not as bad as Prick 1 or 2 or 3, we sort of lost touch. This was till the day Prick 4 and his wife (who is also our friend) received their UK citizenships. That was the only time in many years he contacted me on his own ad had a proper conversation. He also claims not to remember much of his life in India including our time spent together.

Of course, not everyone changes this way. For every Prick, there are the decent ones who also live abroad and don’t have all the attitude in the world.

Recently I got to thinking why some NRIs and PIOs become pricks. Why do some Indians change so drastically once they leave the country? I can think of the following reasons:

1. Rising from a life in a garbage dump to living in a developed country overwhelms them so much, they lose their minds.
2. They like showing off their lifestyle to others and get a dopamine hit when people acknowledge it.
3. They went to show that they are better than others (especially the people still “stuck” in India).