Category Archives: Rant

Anxiety Medication Withdrawal Fail-2

To continue the series of posts about my battle with anxiety, I bring the latest medication withdrawal fail story.

As I wrote here, after my last misadventure with SSRIs, I stopped taking them altogether. Since I felt fine for the next few weeks, I assumed that I don’t really need them and forgot all about them since.

PC: Verywellmind

However, ever so slowly, my anxiety started to creep up back on me. There weren’t any drastic symptoms. Just things like worrying too much about work, thinking about work at night or during weekends. Also, the ever present feeling of dread that something will eventually go wrong.

I was very proud of myself for having successfully(?) given up this medication and wanted to prevent another medication withdrawal fails. So I decided to continue without it.

After I spent 3 successive weekends obsessing over work and dreading Monday, I decided I would keep my mind open about resuming the medicine and gave myself 1 month to decide, till my next doctor appointment. I didn’t last 1 month.

Last weekend, after dreading work all Saturday and most of Sunday, I decided to give up and go back on the medication there and then. I called the hospital & requested to see the doctor the same day. Thankfully they were able to put me on the waiting list and I saw the doctor within the hour. He took pity on me and put me back on Lexapro.

After bagging the medication, I immediately felt better. The world looked brighter and life seemed more beautiful. Of course this was a placebo effect as the medication takes up to 2 weeks to work. Over the next day or so, the placebo effect wore off, but a week since starting the medication, I already feel better.

Second reminder to myself, to not mess with medication that work well.

Also, it’s not worth avoiding medication (and for what?) if it works for you and makes you feel better

LinkedIn is worse than Facebook

LinkedIn is supposed to be a “professional network”. However, as you can see below, it is anything but. I have posted about it before, but now I will go into more details

People posting personal news/updates instead of Facebook/Instagram.

Twerps posting sob stories for sympathy.

People posting inspirational quotes or unasked wisdom

1-click AI generated messages wishing people on their work anniversary.

Peddling Religious shit

The worst kind, as per me. People who have taken a contract (theka) to share breaking news with the rest of the world.

I am not currently looking for a job, so I don’t need LinkedIn as such. However, deleting the account makes me feel insecure. As if that perfect job I always wanted will somehow evade me.

It is pathetic, however, to see that people don’t understand the difference between networks like Facebook and LinkedIn.

Kind of people you see at a Thai Gym

A few months ago, I joined a gym. I was not getting any younger and thought I should take better care of my health. I started going 2 months ago, and thankfully am able to maintain discipline. In these 2 months, I had a chance to observe the other patrons and categorise them.

The Gym Bodybuilder

The bodybuilders are serious about working out. One look at their physique and it is clear that they have been working out for years. They don’t come to the gym to undertake in any kind of nonsense; they know exactly what they want to do, do it and leave. They hardly talk to anyone.

The No-Forms

Mostly men, the sole aim of these guys is to lift as much as possible. Form be damned. Looking at them, it is clear that they are lifting way beyond what they should. In fact some of them have movements which are borderline funny. Almost like dancing. Or like fits.

The Gym Grunters

These are mostly men and with each rep, they let out a savage grunt which can be heard well outside the gym. The surprising thing is that they grunt like this even when lifting lighter weights. The only reason I can think they do this is for attention. They want everyone to look at them while they are lifting, so end up sounding like cavemen. At the end of each set, they also throw their barbells/dumbbells with such force as to shake the floor.

The Social Media champs

These people spend more time on their phones than working out. Most of the time they are glued to their phones and in between their social media chores, manage to do a few sets. They also ask the trainers to take pictures & videos of them working out.

The Technical Guys

These guys calculate everything. They calculate exactly how much time it took for them to complete a set. Time their rest period to the second between sets. They also obsess over their heartbeat rates and select their weights according to it.

The Busybodies

These guys are always busy doing something. Between sets they are always fiddling with their weights continuously or doing some light exercises. They never sit still and always fidgeting around.

The Swole Ladies

These ladies are seriously ripped. They are the female versions of the gym bodybuilders. They are no nonsense and take their workouts very seriously.

The attention-seeking ladies

Mostly Thai women, who spend at least an hour getting ready for the gym. They all come in expensive cars and have personal trainers at their disposal. They spend less time working out and more time being massaged/fondled/chatted up by their trainers. Most of them are already in good shape so for them, the gym is just a social get together. I find them the most irritating.

The Gym clean freaks

Mostly Thai men and women, they use sanitisers to wipe the bench/seat before and after every exercise. Not only the benches, they also wipe the dumbbells/barbells/handles. They have accepted that no one except them will go to such lengths to maintain hygiene and are cool with it.

The Fatties

These people are morbidly obese. They confine themselves to the cardio section of the gym and rarely waddle into the weights section. They dress inappropriately as per their body shapes and are always dripping with sweat. Strangely, they don’t exercise too much. They move very slowly on their treadmills/bicycles/rowing machines; their exercises are very low intensity. However, they are in the gym for hours. When leaving, they always act as if they had a very intense workout and are beat. It doesn’t bother them that they have made no progress in months.

Why are people so insufferable on Facebook?

Ok, so I know I promised I will never be on Facebook again. But I have a good excuse. I ended up with a lot of things I didn’t want and the only way to sell second-hand stuff in Thailand is on the Facebook marketplace.

I thought I will use Facebook only for the marketplace, not for social networking, but I received a few friend requests, ended up sending a few. One thing led to another and I ended up just like last time.

Basically even the most decent people in real-life become insufferable on Facebook.

Some start thinking that they are celebrities

Facebook sucks
Public Figure! Hah!

Why does this guy have his headset inside his mouth?

Facebook sucks
Reminds me of Zomato delivery guys

Some people cannot step out of their homes without letting the entire world know.

What about those 1-tap fake AI generated birthday greetings designed to make you feel special?

Facebook sucks
The guy spent less than a second sending you a birthday greeting

Some people think they look cooler than they actually are.

Public displays of affection by wife and husband to force the world to see how much in love they are

Facebook sucks
No one cares

Finally, the worst kind. People who think they have taken a contract (Theka) to be the first to update everyone with the latest news.


Anyways, the purpose of this post is to remind me why I shouldn’t create an account the next time I am tempted.

The Serotonin Misadventure

Recently, I had a misadventure with my serotonin levels. As I posted earlier, I have been on Neuris 1mg- An Antipsychotic & Lexapro 5mg- An SSRI for my Generalized Anxiety Disorder since I moved to Thailand.

Now, the Lexapro, in Thailand costs 15 times what it cost in India. Always one trying to cheap out, on my last doctor’s visit, I asked him if he could prescribe me a cheaper alternative. He prescribed me Fluoxetine 20mg instead and I happily went on my way chalking this up as a win.

After a few days, I started noticing signs of heart palpitations and sweats through the day. I had recently joined a gym so I chalked this up to the workouts. However, the palpitations became worse with time.

It was not until my family left for vacation leaving me alone with my dog at home that the symptoms hit hard.

I was in a state of constant anxiety. My heart felt it was going to burst out of my chest. To make matters worse, I took a Lexapro, too. It really pushed me over the edge and after suffering all day from a constant state of agitation I dumped my dog with the neighbours and went to the ER.

Serotonin Misadventure
Saw many such alerts throughout the day

They said I have Serotonin Syndrome, from an overdose of SSRIs. They shot me up with a sedative and sent me home with a few pills of Ativan. Ah! Bliss!

I slept for 11 hours and woke up the next day feeling much better. Things didn’t go back to normal immediately, but I could feel the improvements over the next few days; all I had to do was not take the SSRIs.

Lesson Learnt : Don’t mess with medication that work, just to cheap out.

PS: On SSRIs, I used to have vivid movie-like dreams. After stopping the SSRIs, the dreams stopped, too.

My Worst Purchases-iPad Pro 11”

Continuing with my series, the next entry in the list is the iPad Pro 11”.

iPad Pro 11″, PC: Wikipedia

So it had been only a few days since my last folly and the palms of my hands started itching already. So I decided to buy the iPad Pro 11″. I justified it by telling myself I deserved it for my birthday.

This time I didn’t get the Smart Folio Keyboard. I again got the 512Gb version with cellular. Like before, I ran out of money so I couldn’t justify buying the Apple Pencil.

I got into a feverish rage on my birthday and woke up early to stand outside the still-closed store to buy one.

This one was just the right size and OK for one handed use. Like before, the device was gorgeous in every way. The body was awesome and the display was mind blowing.

By the second day, I started having serious misgivings about what I had done. All day, I tried coming up with use-cases for the iPad, but came up empty. This time, I even considered buying a Mirrorless camera to use the iPad as an image processor. Luckily, that moment passed without more expenses.

On the third day I bought the Apple Pencil but it failed to spark any creativity from within me.

By the fourth day, I realized that the device was more suited to professionals and people with creative hobbies and I could do nothing with it. I promptly listed it for sale and sold it the next day to someone at a significant loss. After that I slapped myself on the face 13 times.

My Worst Purchases-iPad Pro 12.9”

Continuing with my series, the next entry in the list is the iPad Pro 12.9”.

iPad Pro 12.9"
iPad Pro, PC: Wikipedia

So it had been a few months that I had bought a new gadget and the palms of my hands started itching. Lately I had not been truly happy with my iPhone (declining battery, low storage). So I decided to get an iPad to supplement the iPhone.

I wanted to read magazines on it, so I got the biggest one at 12.9”. Also wanted to blog on it, so I got the Smart Folio Keyboard. I wanted all my cloud content available offline, so I got the 512Gb version. Ran out of money so I couldn’t justify buying the Apple Pencil.

I got into a feverish rage last Sunday and woke up early to stand outside the still-closed store to buy one.

My first impression of the iPad was that it was huge. And heavy. Bigger than my wife’s MacBook Air, and with the smart folio, heavier, too. But I found it awkward to back out at the store so I handed them all my money and took the iPad.

My second impression was that the device was gorgeous in every way. The body is awesome and the display is mind blowing.

At home after setting everything up, I decided to read a magazine. Far from the experience I imagined, I had to hold the iPad with both hands and it still felt too heavy. I tried blogging on it and it felt weird, switching between the touch screen and the keyboard.

By the second day, I started having serious misgivings about what I had done. All day, I tried coming up with use-cases for the iPad, but came up empty.

By the third day, I realised that the device was more suited to professionals and people with creative hobbies and I could do nothing with it. I promptly listed it for sale and sold it the next day to someone at a significant loss. After that I slapped myself on the face 3 times.

Pathetic Indian Expats

As per Wikipedia, Indians make up the biggest group of expats in the world. Also, Indians seem to be leaving their country in droves. This post is not about Indian expats in general, but about a specific group. This group lies somewhere between migrant labourers and well earning/spending Indian expats and makes up a sizeable chunk of expat Indians.

Indian Expat Roommates, PC: YouTube

This group of Indian expats doesn’t leave their home country to provide a better life to themselves and their families. These Indians want one thing only – To save as much money as possible. Unfortunately, over the years, I have met many such pathetic lowlives.

These Indian Expats

  1. Emigrate to other countries without their families. The idea is they earn in a higher-valued currency and send money back home where the family spends it in a lower-valued Rupee. Is more common among Indian women, as they see it as a way to escape their in-laws.
  2. Work for desi companies like TCS, Wipro, Infosys who pay below market standards as per the host country, but more than they pay in India. However, I have also seen such people in more reputable companies earning a decent wage.
  3. Shack-up with roommates in tiny hovels. Some are middle aged, pushing 40, but still share a bed with other lowlives like themselves in tiny apartments. Also, they all start hating each other after some time, but still stick around in the same house. Because cheaping out on money is more important.
    I have shared homes with other guys when I was in/fresh out of college, but never shared the same bed and only once shared the same room. At this age, I would rather sleep in the streets than share a room with other guys.
  4. Are all extremely miserly. Don’t spend money at all, cook all their meals at home themselves.
  5. Frequent (cheap) whorehouses to fulfil their carnal desires.
  6. Spend long hours at work, because there’s more space compared to their rooms.
  7. Assume that just because you’re Indian too, you will drop everything to help them with their work.
  8. Order around and behave rudely with staff at Indian restaurants.
  9. Are universally disliked by the local population and normal expats.
  10. Return to India after saving enough money to buy 2-3 houses and be branded “foreign return”.

Basically executives/managers living lives of labourers. Personally, I keep my distance from such people as much as possible as they depress me.

Motorcycle Parking Discrimination

Happy New Year!

Over the last year, I have noticed a peculiar trend in Bangkok. Almost every parking area in Bangkok has a separate space for big bikes/superbikes. These separate parking places are generally better than the regular motorcycle parking spaces. Sometimes they are even free to park at. Here’re some examples

Terminal 21 has a separate space for motorcycles >500cc. The floor is even a different colour and the spaces are wider than usual.

MotorCycle Parking at Terminal 21
Segregated Motorcycle Parking at Terminal 21

CentralWorld not only has a separate “SuperBike” section, but also a SuperCar section (Not even BMWs/Audis/Mercedeses are allowed). The floor has a deluxe veneer. You can even see your reflection on the floor.

River City Bangkok has a separate space for “Big Bikes”. The parking attendant took pity on me and let me park there.

MotorCycle Parking at RiverCity Bangkok
Big Bike Parking at River City

Bumrungrad hospital even has a whole separate ramp to enter the parking area for “SuperBikes”.

IconSiam‘s parking is probably the most exclusive with the cutoff at 800cc. Nothing below that is allowed.

MotorCycle Parking at IconSiam
Motorcycle Parking at IconSiam

I wonder if people are civil enough to not park at such places if their motorcycles don’t qualify, or if there parking attendant needs to check some kind of documentation to verify.

Paytm Sucks Balls

Continuing with the series, the next entry in my list is Paytm, which sucks balls.

Paytm is an Indian payment giant. It first entered the market in 2010, when payment and wallet apps were not so popular. But it was in 2016 when the Indian government demonetised major currency notes, that it gained major popularity. No thanks to a front page newspaper advertisement endorsed by the Prime Minister himself. Over the years, Paytm became synonymous with digital payments and every small vendor started accepting it.

Over the years, the app has also turned into one of the finest examples of bloatware. Opening the app takes you to its front page, 80% of which is bloat with only a single bar dedicated to something useful.

Paytm sucks Balls

Scrolling down reveals a never-ending series of advertisements and offers.

What else do you expect from someone who not only looks repulsive, but also acts like this?

https://youtu.be/rbs7adwyd1s
“Impassioned” speech

Frankly speaking, I never understood the concept of keeping your money in a dedicated “wallet”. UPI rightfully took a dent out of this market by bringing the convenience of a wallet to any app while you get to keep your money in your bank account.

I am just glad I don’t have to use their services anymore.