As per Wikipedia, the word Farang loosely translates to someone of caucasian descent. In practical use in Southeast Asia, it is more widely used to refer to white men; less frequently women.

In this article, I cover a specific class of Farang living in Southeast Asia – The ones who consider themselves authentic (travellers, not tourists kind) and come to Asia to (re) discover themselves. Most of them are jobless, mooching off social security in their developed countries or have remote jobs and stay here on tourist Visas. In my experience, they constitute less than 10% of total white people living here.

For most of them, the bubble bursts real soon and they end up leaving, but some of them survive for years.

Now, my problem is not with how they themselves are, but with how judgemental they are about others and how they think that anyone who is not like them is a fool. Not to forget, their colonial mentality.

Using my guide below, you too can become one such insufferable Farang.

Exclusive Guide to be an Insufferable Farang

• Eat tasteless, flavourless bland food and judge others for eating different. Lecture them on how asians don’t have evolved taste buds that can appreciate finer tastes only they can.

• Ride around on extremely busy roads on e-scooters or monowheels and if a crack on the road or a gentle sideswipe sends you sprawling on the streets with broken teeth, go cry on Reddit.

• Show great enthusiasm for learning the local language and/or Muay Thai and judge others (who have actual jobs to do) if they can’t. The hypocrisy is that after the initial phase, most of them maintain the same 20 word vocabulary for years. Occasionally, pretend to enjoy Thai-dub movies.
• Eat in street side stalls & judge others who prefer going to nice places. Then, when you eventually get diarrhoea, go beg on Reddit for free local medication recommendations because you can’t/won’t afford to go to a doctor. Also, drink shitty bottled beer in windowless joints.
• Judge people for going to shopping malls, because shopping malls are huge symbols of corporate greed and hanging out on the side-streets is what authentic people do.
• Get beaten up by prostitutes frequently. Bonus points if the prostitute is a ladyboy.

• Educate others on how they should live their lives at any chance you get. But be considerate by prepending your sentence with “I am not showing a colonial mentality but….”
• Live in cheap shitty hovels and hostels. Judge others if they do/want to live in nice places.
• Bad mouth Indians all the time, but if you need help with work, feel free to ask them.
• If married, dump your white wife and share (unknowingly) a Thai girlfriend with 10 other insufferable Farangs. When you find out, cry on reddit.
• Hail taxis off the streets. Judge others for using ride-hailing apps. Then complain on Reddit when you get ripped off. For bonus points, pick a fight with the taxi driver and cry on reddit when your teeth get knocked out.
• Use the cheapest phone possible (if possible, with a cracked screen and a battery pack permanently taped to the back) and judge others if they prefer nicer phones.
• Judge people who don’t participate in adventure sports.
• Bash Nestle whenever you see one of their brands anywhere. While not knowing why you’re bashing it, in the first place.
• Get restless if you haven’t been in a swimming pool for more than 48 hours.

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