Goodbye to an old companion

Today is a sad day. Even though my bike was stolen almost 4 and half months ago, the reality hit my hard today. Maybe I hoped all along that my bike would be found and returned to me (even though the Police had made it clear that they don’t do any sort of investigations). The insurance company today gave me a cheque which is supposed to compensate me for losing my bike.
I booked my bike in December 2003 at Paragon Traders, the only Royal Enfield dealers in Nagpur at that time. My parents promised to buy it for me if I did well in my 3rd semester exams (everyone knows how that turned out). After a short waiting time, I was promised delivery in January 2004. I was at home in Chandigarh at that time and couldn’t wait to get back to Nagpur to get my hands on my new bike.
Finally, with a demand draft in hand, I was on a train back to Nagpur. I remember I couldn’t sleep the entire night because of anticipation. The train was supposed to reach at around 5.30 in the evening next day but I had taken my luggage and was standing near the train door since 4.30. Luckily, the train reached on time and I rushed home to drop my things and head to the dealership.
When I saw my bike, MH-31-XX-NN for the first time and was handed over the keys, I could hardly believe what was happening. It all seemed like a dream to me. The feeling I had when I rode the bike home was one of sheer pride. Everyone at the traffic lights would stare at us and some would ask the mileage or the price. In college, from far, I could see people gathered around my bikeShortly afterwards, my parents moved to Kolkata where I also moved with my bike for a year. Even though riding the bike was not as much fun as it was in Nagpur, we had a good time there.
The last 2 years of my engineering days in Nagpur were the best. All of us friends used to go on long rides to Boar Dam, Ramtek and many random places like Katol as well. The bike always performed efortlessly and reliability was flawless. I remember consistent full throttle runs which would take the bike above 120; even at those speeds it would feel smooth.

During this time, I started to fiddle with my bike and learnt basic things like opening the clutch compartment,  tuning the carb pitot jet etc. I experimented with various silencers (The Electra Glass Wool one and the Standard Short bottle one). We even used to roam around town with no silencer at all, scaring nearby people.

After that, graduation was over and I moved with my bike to Kolkata. My bike didn’t fare as well in Kolkata though. The piston siezed once because the oil pump was jammed and I had to get extensive engine work done. I still remember making multiple trips to the Enfield dealer in Wellington (twice with my mom as well) to get spares.
After a year in Kolkata, I moved to Gurgaon in a bid to improve my career and financial condition. Somehow I lost my bike’s registration certificate due to which I could not take it along with me. I remember making a single day trip to Nagpur by air to get the necessary work done at Nagpur RTO. Finally, after a month I got a new RC and was able to get my bike shipped to Gurgaon.

I remember once that I had not ridden my bike for more than a month during the monsoons. Older Enfields were prone to water leakage in the clutch compartment, which rusted my bike’s clutch plates and they welded together. The bike was completely immobile. I called the only 2 Royal Enfield Service Centers in Gurgaon but they refused to come to my place and fix the bike or tow it to their workshops. I woke up 4 hours earlier than I generally did those days, went to the dealership, got a brand new set of clutch plates and replaced them myself. It was a proud day. It was also in Gurgaon once that for the first time in 7 years, my bike refused to start at all (It turned out to be a bad connector on the battery).

As I did in Nagpur, I used to park my bike on the street in Gurgaon as well and never locked the handle. Someone exploited this security hole and stole my bike on New Year’s eve. My new year was ruined and I spent it at home.
Getting the necessary paperwork from Gurgaon Police was a major headache. Sometimes they made me feel as if it was my fault that my bike was stolen. They asked questions like “Who asked you to buy such an expensive bike?”. I also had to get some paers from Nagpur RTO, which was a pain. However, I commend ICICI Lombard insurance company for a no hassle claim process. They sent me the compensation cheque within a month of the police declaring the bike as “no-trace”.
I would have felt at ease if my bike was destroyed in an accident. What bothers me that someone else is riding my bike somewhere (I hardly allowed anyone to ride my bike). The only consolation is that I might never know.
Everything good must come to an end and so did my relationship with my bike. It was one of the things I was most fond of and it will always have a place very close to my heart.
Some old articles

What the latest Mountain Dew commercial says about the product

I’ve written about Television ads before here, here and here, but this one deserves an entry of its own.

People who watch TV would know that Mountain Dew commercials have always been over the top. The main selling point seems to be the fact that people who drink Mountain Dew don’t feel any kind of fear.

Life on this planet is now millions of years old. The crocodiles alone have been on this planet for 55 million years now. Earth was (and is still not) a very easy place to survive in. Any animal can easily be killed by predators/diseases/natural calamities unless he is careful.

How did species survive so long when there were so many factors that would have caused their destruction long ago?

Why does a normal person not not enter a dark alley in shady neighbourhood late at night? Why does a normal person feel its against his instincts to jump off from an Airplane? Why does a normal person instinctively duck when he sees another person wielding a gun at him? Why does a normal person instinctively step back when he’s on a high ledge?

The answer is fear. The human instinct of self-preservation, fueled by fear.

Now look at this commercial and see what happens.

A guy (lets call him Dewd) is standing on the edge of a high dam (apparently 300 feet high), looking down, drinking Mountain Dew. A geeky looking guy, fearful of what his friend is about to do, says that he is done for.

The Dewd casually sipping on the Dew, does not understand what the big deal is and says that he sees the bottom only 3 foot (not feet, foot) away.

Now, this should immediately ring alarm bells everywhere. The beverage obviously causes Hallucinations. Also, this does not seem to be a ordinary harmless Hallucination caused by Magic Mushrooms or LSD, but seem to affect the depth perception capability of the user, leaving all other senses intact.

Also, the beverage kills off all traces primal survival instinct of the user and eliminates fear. This, apart from the fact that the Dewd is illiterate and doesn’t understand the difference between foot/feet.

The Dewd casually says “Shoot the fear with Dew” and jumps off the ledge on his skateboard. You might have already got the hint that he intends to skate down the Dam, but now its confirmed.

Also, you see a lot of crew around him (including a helicopter hovering over the Dam), so this seems to be planned in advance; and also, somehow legal.

While the terrified people on the ledge look on, Dewd skates down the almost vertical wall of the dam with a look of menace on his face. We have no idea how the skateboard maintains its traction on the Dam wall despite it being almost vertical.

If this alone was not difficult enough for Dewd, the dam sluices are opened and there’s water rushing after him as well. Whether this was planned or just a coincidence is open to speculation.

Also, somehow it is portrayed that the Dewd is racing in front of the water flow; though how he has any control over his speed is anyone’s guesswork. Just before the water hits him, he separates from the Skateboard and jumps into the water. Somehow, he re-unites with the Skateboard underwater and surfaces in joyous triumph. Next, he predictably runs up the Dam wall (dripping with water and dew) and high fives everyone in sight. Unbelievable? Yes.

So, to summarize it all, the effects of Mountain Dew include

  1. You forget what fear is
  2. You get Hallucinations
  3. The law sympathizes with you skating down/running up dams and maybe other illegal activities
  4. Your skateboard (or any other daredevil equipment you have) gains impossible traction powers
  5. You get full underwater maneuverability and vision
  6. You can scale walls like Spiderman, but with feet

I used to have Dew a few years ago and felt no effects whatsoever, apart from a strong sugar buzz (damn the drink is so sweet!!)

On the positive note, I hope the people who are foolish enough to believe these commercials think that they’ll get such powers for real, engage in such stunts and remove themselves permanently from the human gene pool.

Movie Releases I am looking forward to this year

Below is a list of movie releases, I am looking forward to, this year.
Hollywood
  1. The Dictator (May) – Wiki/IMDb
  2. Men in Black III (May) – Wiki/IMDb
  3. American Reunion (May) – Wiki/IMDb
  4. Prometheus  (June) – Wiki/IMDb
  5. The Dark Knight Rises (July) – Wiki/IMDb
  6. The Amazing Spiderman (July) – Wiki/IMDb
  7. The Expendables 2 (August) – Wiki/IMDb
  8. Resident Evil: Retribution (September) – Wiki/IMDb
  9. Skyfall  (October) – Wiki/IMDb
  10. Django Unchained (December) – Wiki/IMDb
  11. The Hobbit : An Unexpected Journey (December) – Wiki/IMDb
  12. Iron Sky (India Release date unknown) – Wiki/IMDb
This seems to be the year of Sequels as 9 of the 12 movies above are either sequels, or part of a universe already set by previous movies.
Bollywood
  1. Talaash (November) – Wiki/IMDb
  2. Kismat Luv Paisa Dilli (Release date unknown) – Wiki/IMDb

Hugo

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I would start by saying that you would probably never watch this movie in the theaters.
This is because the theater owners don’t want people to see this movie. It was released last year and just hit theaters in Delhi this weekend. Even then, it was showcased in only 5 theaters across the city with all the shows at inconvenient times, late at night. Some other cities like Kolkata won’t even release this movie (though I feel it would have found a better audience there).
Why? Because such movies don’t work well in India, specially in places like Delhi where people feel that their money is wasted without over-the-top action sequences, sex scenes or at least song-and-dance routines.
Hugo is a movie which has none of the above. What it is, is a beautiful movie, a happy feel-good,  steampunk-like movie with no villains. The cinematography is amazing and has an almost motion-capture feel to it. Maybe this is why it was nominated for 11 Oscars and won 5.
Now, I am not going to write a plot summary here because this movie deserves audiences to go watch it themselves.
Asa Butterfield as Hugo Cabret gives one of the best performances by a child actor I have ever seen.  Ben Kingsley as Georges Méliès does an excellent job as always. Chloë Grace Moretz as Isabelle, Ray Winstone as Claude Cabret, Jude Law as Hugo’s father and Christopher Lee as Monsieur Labisse have notable performances as well. 

The best and most surprising performance however is by Sacha Baron Cohen as a slightly crippled Inspector Gustave. As per me, anyone who can play completely different characters like Borat, Bruno as well as Inspector Gustave in one lifetime would immediately be awarded an Oscar, without any nominations required. 

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My only complaint? The movie was in 3D.
I agree that 3D introduces a level of realism in movies un-attainable by 2D, but it should not be at the expense of Resolution/Definition or clarity.
Maybe movie theater equipment in India is still out-dated to show good 3D because I find all 3D movies darker and hazier than their 2D counterparts. I might never know, until I watch a 3D movie in one of the more advanced countries. Still, the 3D in this movie was much better than 3D in other movies and I came out without any headaches.
All said, this is a beautiful movie which must be cherished and appreciated and deserves to be watched in Theaters or in HD 1080p at least at home. People who download DVD rips for this movie will have their souls rot in hell forever.

My Nostalgic trip to nagpur

Last weekend, I had a chance to travel to Nagpur. This time, it was not for some work I had pending, but just to visit the place where I did my engineering from and relive those good days.

I will not go on about each and every thing about the trip, instead I will just list the places I visited and say what has changed about them

Priyadarshini College of Engineering

  1. There are now many different colleges in the same campus, mainly an MBA college, a polytechnic college, among others
  2. Some teachers have left, though I saw most of them on Saturday morning. They seem to have prospered and most come on cars instead of lunas/Puchs.
  3. Students are now from a slightly better class of society, some of them own cars.
  4. The number of buildings has gone up, though it doesn’t feel that cramped
  5. The row of tin-shedded buildings housing the small auditorium opposite the Administrative block has been demolished
  6. The nescafe shop next to the library has been demolished
  7. The row of road-side tea-stalls opposite the college gate has been replaced by a Cafe Coffee Day
  8. The IT block has lost its new feeling (when it was constructed) and looks shabbier now

Dharampeth

  1. Most of the shops are same, no major changes. Bula’s still stands
  2. There’s a new Haldiram building coming up
  3. Pyramid has been replaced by Brand Factory, though the inside of the store looks the same as before
  4. The custard/shake stall at the first left turn was not there both the days I went there
  5. Raskun(j) has closed down
  6. Yummy yum has been closed down/replaced by a newer restaurant
  7. Some good brands have opened up shop
  8. Corn Hub now has 2 outlets (In DP)
  9. The In & Out shop at Shanky PP now sells branded apparel.
Sadar/VCA/Poonam Chambers
  1. The VCA stadium now has a Subway outlet
  2. The CCD is mostly the same
  3. Both Liberty/Smruti theaters are the same (at least from outside)
  4. Tauby’s is still doing good business
  5. Restaurant Nanking is still there
  6. Poonam Chambers was mostly deserted, even on Saturday evening
  7. The video game parlour in the basement of Poonam chambers is much smaller and completely deserted; the games suck and have no place in 2012
  8. The PC cafe coffee day is still there, though there’re much less people

Sitaburdi

  1. Burdi is as (if not more) crowded than before
  2. There’s a new mall in Burdi, but does not compare to metropolitan city malls; mostly consists of Big Bazaar and the crowd is terrible
  3. Landmark (with Westside and Big bazaar) still exists.
  4. The jewellery store which opened up in place of Barista was closed
  5. Pape Juice corner was closed both the days I went there.
  6. There was a new Haldiram joint opening up
  7. Paragon Traders still exists
  8. 10 Downing street still exists; though the Pasta I ordered was very-very spicy; leading me to suspect that it was Saoji pasta.

Overall/Misc

  1. Telangkhedi lake seems deserted
  2. The row of chinese/street food stalls opposite the lake have been replaced by swanky (by Nagpur standards) cafes
  3. The lake is definitely dirtier, with filth floating around
  4. The house where I used to stay has gone from a single floor shabby structure to a 3 floor swanky (again, by Nagpur standards) house
  5. The Hot chips next to PP’s garage pub has been closed
  6. PP’s garage pub still exists
  7. Maitrayi CCD still exists, is doing good business
  8. There are a lot more Hot Chips counters around the city
  9. The city is still more 2-wheeler friendly than 4-wheelers
  10. Fuel rates have gone up significantly, auto-wallahs charge too much
  11. The Airport, which underwent a spurt of development/expansion after I left is now stagnant, not much more has been done. There were birds flying around inside the airport
  12. The restaurants/pubs are still much cheaper than the ones in metropolitan cities
  13. Some women still wear a weird robe over their clothes to protect themselves from the Sun.
  14. The Sardarji opposite T-Point hostel is still serving meals to students. Gary (his son) seems to have grown a regular beard and wears a turban now.
  15. The movie theaters still show English movies dubbed into Hindi. The wrath of the titans was Mahayudhh – 2

Finally, the heat was unbearable, even in March. The temperature crosses 40 degrees by noon and stays that way till 6PM. The sun is very very hot and I got blisters on my hand riding a bike around in the heat; as well as a headache which lasted till the next day.
While leaving, I asked myself this question “Would I be able to live in Nagpur if I got a job offer here?”; after all, I would be able to afford a much higher standard of living even with the same Salary.
Well the answer is “NO”. Nagpur as a city is nothing spectacular. What made it worth living was the presence of wonderful friends an the student lifestyle we used to lead.
Without them, it is not as much fun.

Think Floyd 2012

I have written about Think Floyd many times before here, here, here and here. Really, with a busy lifestyle and bands not playing on the weekends, they’re the only band I follow regularly (apart from Indian Ocean, who don’t seem to play at Delhi anymore).
They recently announced their first gig of 2012, again at Hard Rock Cafe, Delhi. I had many things going against me this time. I had cold and fever, I had to go to office early the next day, it was the end of the month and I was short on money, but none of that stopped me. After swallowing a crocin, I reached the venue sharply at 21:30, waiting for the show to begin at 22:00.
Their on-stage lineup last night
Anindo Bose: Keyboards
Abhishek Mathur: Guitar and Vocals
Rohit Kulkarni : Guitar and Vocals
Chintan Kalra : Bass and Vocals
Aveleon Vaz : Drums  
The Guy whose name I always forget : Sax
Here’s the set they performed, with a break in between
Side A

  1. Time
  2. What do you want from me
  3. Empty Spaces/Young Lust
  4. When you’re in
  5. Set controls for the heart of the sun
  6. Have a cigar
  7. Echoes Part -1/2
  8. Lost for Words
  9. Burning bridges
  10. Learning to Fly
  11. Hey you

Side B

  1. Coming back to life
  2. Money
  3. Us and Them
  4. Any colour you like
  5. Astronomy Domine
  6. In the Flesh
  7. Run like Hell
  8. Wish you were here (Dedicated to Amit Saigal)
  9. Shine on you crazy diamond (VI – IX)
  10. Great gig in the sky
  11. Comfortably Numb
  12. Shine on you Crazy Diamond (I -IV)

Few points to note about last night’s performance

  • Chintan was sober. He didn’t space out even once. This was a first
  • Gaurav Chintamani seems to have been domesticated-post marriage and spent his time off-stage; perhaps to keep him off the reach of clawing groupies out to get him
  • This was the first time they didn’t perform Dark Side of the moon in its entirety, but the playlist did need an overhaul (and time for more songs), which it got
  • Animals were missing

Holi log

Thursday, 08 March
14:30: Buy copious amounts of Bhang
14:45: Consume copious amounts of Bhang
15:30: Start feeling sleepy
15:30 – 19:30): Resist sleep
19:31: Consume copious amounts of KFC and a virgin Mojito
20:00: Start losing short term memory. Everything is in episodes
20:15 onwards:
Start feeling giddy and start losing sense of Balance. House feels dark and depressing, even though there are many lights on. Unable to control my smile. Feel hungry again. It feels like there are ice cubes in my stomach. I must have something to eat and then go to sleep. I just had a phone conversation but cannot remember with whom. The computer monitor seems a long way away from me; a few hundred metres at least. But how am I then typing on it?
20:21: Filled my bag of Sun-dried tomatoes with Olive Oil
20:40: Am having sad thoughts. Maybe some ancient bad dreams. Of a place that is remote, full of water. Maybe rain water and a sharp metallic smell. Start listening to “Shine on you crazy diamond” to lighten the mood. The opening notes seem to be going on for quite some time. A long time. Stuck maybe?
20:45: Sudden craving to watch Michael Palin’s New Europe; although I cannot find the DVD.
20:47: Have that school-time Sunday evening depression; even though I am not in school and its not SUnday evening
21:31: Had a lot of dinner. Maybe worth 2 people. Kept having sad thoughts. Wondering of some time when I sat in front of TV all night long till it was morning.
21:34 Some hallucinations
21:40: Started watching Michael Palin’s new Europe. Stopped watching in 10 minutes and deleted
21:52: Started listening to Shine on you Crazy Diamond again. Music seems oddly low on Tempo.
22:01: Go to sleep
Friday, 09 March
12:00 Noon: Woke up after being asleep for 14 hours
Overall, this was nothing compared to this

Features I want to be implemented in the Nokia Lumia series

I have been a smartphone user for almost as long as I have used a cellphone. As a user, I have evolved over these years. Most of my smartphone experience has been with Symbian (95%) and Windows Mobile (5%).

Planning to move to a Nokia Windows Phone in the future, these are certain features I am used to, which I find sadly missing on Nokia WIndows Phones
Notification LED: Its an LED on the front panel of the phone which blinks periodically whenever there’s a new Missed call or SMS.
For me, this is highly useful because most modern smartphones don’t show anything on their screens when in standby mode and you have to press a button and go to the lock screen to see whether there are any messages or missed calls.
Windows Phone supports this for Missed calls and voicemails only, not for SMS.
Nokia Windows Phones don’t have a Notification LED at all.
Profiles: I prefer to use different profiles when I am at home (Loud Ringer, no vibration, email alerts), when my phone is in my pocket (No Ringer, vibrations, no email alerts), when I am sleeping (No vibrations, low volume ascending ringer , no email alerts, calls only from family members) and Silent (No notifications at all).
This is something I have gotten used to such an extent that I felt terrible when I had to use an iphone for a week.
Windows Phone does not have this functionality natively at all.
Without these 2 features, there is no way I can buy a Nokia Windows Phone.

Why I hated Rockstar

First of all, I would start off by saying that many will be super-pissed to read this. This is purely my personal opinion and it is understandable if most people don’t agree with me. In fact I might have liked the movie if-
1. The movie was not named Rockstar
2. The second half was compressed into half hour
I had very high hopes when the movie was initially announced because the movie was to be shot mostly in and around Delhi and I have a soft corner for such movies. My hopes went considerably down when I came to know that A.R. Rehman would be composing music for the movie. I swore not to watch it, but was coaxed into watching it by friends. Here’re some salient points from the movie
+ Ranbir Kapoor acted well
– Ranbir Kapoor’s character’s (JJ’s) living conditions were totally un-realistic. Apparently the walls in his house (which by the way were covered with Jim Morrison’s posters) had big holes in them. Maybe they wanted to show that Jats are resistant to heat/rain/cold/insects.
– The music in the movie is not Rock. A.R. Rehman cannot get away with pretending to compose rock. The music in Rock-On!! was Rock; the music in Rockstar was Pop with heavy guitar riffs (which feel out of place in the songs) and guitar solos (which appear out of no-where and feel out of place as well). Well, you can’t have high hopes from the person who composed one of the worst and most hyped songs in the history of Hollywood and won an Oscar for it.
– Mohit Chauhan might be a good singer (I personally am not aware of his work), but he is no rocker. Shouting “Hey Hey” multiple times doesn’t make you a rocker.
– The actress Nargis Fakhri cannot act. Her pout is distractingly irritating. Her character was too extreme to be true as well. Her transformation from a Shareef girl from a well to do family to wanting to watch Porn Movies in the theaters of old Delhi and having Desi Daroo was too much to digest. Even Indian boys who leave home and go to different cities for the first time don’t do this. She could have settled for watching Porn at home and having regular alcohol.
– The movie showed it’s true Bollywood roots when Heer (Nargis) dies (in India) while the JJ (Ranbir) (who was deported from the Czech Republic on criminal charges, but is surprisingly allowed to return back) is in the middle of a passionate solo in a concert in the Czech Republic. How is JJ supposed to know she’s dead right at that moment? He can’t receive calls while he’s on stage. To make it convenient for him, Heer’s ghost takes a detour on her way to hell (remember the alcohol and the porn?) and visits JJ on stage as a final farewell.
The only reason I was able to sit through the whole movie was because me and one of my friends (who also didn’t want to watch the movie) made fun of it all the time and passed comments.
For some ligh-hearted fun, read the Vigil Idiot post on this movie.

The Great Gig (under the sky)

Last night was my third Think Floyd night. I have already covered how awesome the band is and how they play during my first and second gigs. This time was as awesome as ever and much better than the second time.
This time the gig was held on the terrace of Vapour bar and lounge, Gurgaon. The ambience was amazing; the best ambience I have ever seen for a live performance. There was a full moon out, there was a cool, pleasant breeze flowing and the metro would whiz by close to the mall every few minutes.
The set included more or less the same combination of songs as the last few times (Yes, Dark Side was played in its entirety).
Since this was an open venue (no entry fees or cover charges), some losers did make it to the venue. It was actually hilarious to watch them make a fool out of themselves.
Loser 1:-
Loser 1 is a short & thin guy, dressed impeccably in formals, sitting at the bar as far away from the band as possible. You can imagine that he grew up in South Delhi & when he was young, his parents didn’t refuse anything he asked for (probably got a BMW at the age of 11); which is why he turned out to be a loser. Suddenly he comes up to the stage
Loser: C’mon guys. Play some Morrison
Chintan: We’re gonna play Morrison next Thursday
Loser: But I want Morrison now
Chintan: Next Thursday
Loser: You don’t know how much money I spend. You gotta play my request
Chintan: Someday we’ll play requests
Loser: Some more fake-accented shit
Chintan: Man I’m not even listening to you anymore
Loser: Utters abuses in Punjabi and goes back to the bar


Loser 2:-
Loser 2 is with a bunch of friends, standing right in front of the stage, dancing, making rap signs and desecrating the best Pink Floyd songs. During an instrument tuning break, he gets up on stage
Loser: September 11 was worst day of life yaar. Mean worst day yaar. I cried yaar. I hate Pink Floyd yaar. I mean Pink Floyd legend yaar. I am Pink Floyd legend yaar. I cannot tell you yaar. I mean september 11 was just worst day yaar. I am the biggest legend of Pink Floyd yaar. I hate Pink Floyd yaar. I just so happy Pink Floyd come to India today yaar.
I works at Accenture yaar. I such big legend, I bunks office tonight for Pink Floyd yaar
Crowd: Fuck Accenture
Loser: You can say that
Crowd: Fuck you
Loser: I am TL!!! (Tech Lead)
With this awe-inspiring statement, he walks off the stage and goes back to dancing. His facebook update tomorrow will be about how he shared stage with Pink Floyd.
Videos (Make sure you click on HD before you start playback)