Hate, Rant

Why astrologers suck big time..

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Because they are frauds. And cheaters. They prey on the superstition and ignorance of people and not only do they rob people off their money, but also cause them harm. Few days ago, on TV while browsing channels, I happened to chance upon a show where astrologers cheat people. A class XII pass out had just called and told the astrologer he wanted to pursue engineering and if it was a good time to do it. The astrologer not only asked the person to spell his name in some obscure way, he also advised him not to try engineering this time but wait for next year. I was shocked seeing this!! How could a man play with someone’s future like this? It’s still bearable till you just take money but this was too much? Also disgusting is how they decide if people can get married to each other or not. The whole concept makes me sick to the bone. These fucking bastards are also in league with jewelers from whom they earn a hefty commission when they advice people to wear expensive gems on their fingers, neck and even waist. How the fuck can gems or the positions of planets affect anyone’s future? (Except the astronomers, jewelers and astrologers). Recently in the news, it was reported that Aishwarya Rai (an Indian actress) would cause death to whoever she marries because of the stars. Eventually, before being married, she was married to a tree so that it’s the tree that suffers the horrible fate, not the husbands. This is not only an insult to women but also to the tree which is supposedly going to die a horrible death. Maybe some astrologer would go and set the tree on fire, just to lend credibility to this profession. So meanwhile, Aishwarya Rai is practicing polyandry, which is illegal by Indian law.

You can’t really blame the astrologers. They are just being opportunistic. If there’s such a vulnerability in people at this age, one can’t blame someone for exploiting it. The big question which has me confused is whether the astrologers really believe in what they are doing or whether, even they are subject to superstition(which is an even worse case).

For now, I will satiate myself by making prank callers to astrologers and wishing them a painful existence.

Song of the week:- Time by Pink Floyd

Motorcycle

Review of Royal Enfield Thunderbird

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My bike would be 4 years old in January next year. So I thought it’d be appropriate to write a review. The bike named zapeedo and later re-christened to silver lightning has never let me down. It has been through thick and thin for more than 40,000 kilometers. Except for a few specks of rust, it still stands strong and graceful. Here are a few pros and cons I have noticed with the bike till now:-
Cons:-
  1. One major engine repair which was due to a noisy cam shaft. Was rectified in a few days but engine had to be opened.
  2. Few specks of rust at the handlebar ends and rims but that’s more due to the humid atmosphere of Calcutta.
  3. Clutch cable tended to break but the design was rectified by the company.
  4. Poor design of the decompressor cable lever which has led to 6 replacements till now.
  5. Tappets remain a little noisy even after adjustments.

Pros:-

  1. Performance is still amazing. Amazing pulling power at high speeds and top whack still goes upto 120. Pulsar riders, you may bow..
  2. Engine has steadily become smoother and less noisy.
  3. Disc Brake pads provided by pricol still going strong in spite of heavy use.
  4. Strong chassis which has not let me down in spite of a few accidents.
  5. Excellent riding position and comfort.
  6. Good for showing off.
Rant

Stupid Nokia Guys

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Yesterday my phone got soaked in rain along with me. So took the phone to the Nokia Care Center People. After a long wait, they made me a job sheet. Just take a look at it if you may. Click on the image to open a bigger version..

Here are a few details I would like to point out:-

  1. If I dictate the address as “57”, how can anyone write “ST” instead of that?? I can understand someone may make that mistake while copying but how the hell if Idictate it?
  2. “Diamond Harbour” is spelled as “Dimond Habra”.
  3. 23 is written as 25
  4. I dictated 2 mobile numbers of mine. The stupid guy there has liberally added, subtracted the digits from my mobile numbers till the final numbers are 11 digits in length. Wow!!
  5. “Connected” is “Cannected”. The spelling is in sync with their pronunciation.
  6. “Liquid Damage” is “Liquied Dammege”
  7. “Warranty” is “Warrenty”
Rant

How to become a certified Tamil

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Want to become a true Tamil? Need a free step-by-step guide to help you? Well you have come to the right place!!! Just use the following points and you are ready to be a true-blooded Tamil.

  1. Choose a true Tamil name. For the first name, choose any of the names from Selva, Anna, Naga, Chola etc. To this, affix any of the names like Rajan, Arjunam, Swamy by using any permutation/combinations of your choice. You can also have the widely popular name Sarvanam if you are a restaurant or names like Jeevha or Senthil.
  2. Apply half a bottle of coconut oil to your hair and face. Paste your hair in such a way that not even a single strand of hair is able to leave it’s designated position. Also make sure that people around you get suffocated.
  3. Bathing is for fools. Strictly avoid it.
  4. Learn to talk in a sing-song sort of way.
  5. Apply lots of talcum powder on your face so that you seem fairer than you actually are.
  6. Wear a white shirt and a white lungi. Use your lungi to wipe your nose and your hands.
  7. Believe southie movie stars to be gods. Rajnikanth is the ultimate god. Be prepared to murder anyone who insults him.
  8. Erect statues of Gandhi all over the city and start calling him Anna.
  9. Consider North Indians(anyone north of Andhra Pradesh) as inferior fools, be jealous of their fairer skin colour and insult them behind their backs.
  10. Be quite fluent in English and don’t learn a word of Hindi, the national language. While conversing with a North Indian, even if you know Hindi, hide the fact and insult him in Tamil so that he cannot understand.
  11. If you are single, ride a bike. Get atleast 2 of your friends to sit behind you and weave in and out of traffic, hurling abuses in Tamil.
  12. if you are married, ride a scooter and get your whole family to sit behind you and also in front of you. Carry atleast 4 people.
  13. Look the same as everyone else. Select any of these three categories. Clean shaven, moustache or beard and look like everyone in your category.
  14. Put coconut in everything you cook and cook everything in coconut oil.
  15. Take your family for a dinner in a restaurant and sit on any of the tables you find space even if some chairs on that table are already occupied. Don’t order separately for your children. Let them beg for food and then give them morsels from your own plate.
  16. Take your family for a dinner to a North Indian restaurant and order Dosa/Idli. When turned down, make a scene and hurl profanities in Tamil.

If you follow all of these points, you are ready to settle down in this state and feel right at home.

Animals

Appeal from Samudra

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hey there!

well i have been thinking for sometime to let everyone know about stray dogs. please dont hate stray dogs. dogs are the man’s best friend, and also they are totoally dependent on us. nature provides food for every animal,cows-grass(not what you are thinking) ,snakes-rats, rats-grains, pigs-roots,cats can prey on fish, birds and also others foods(without permission)…..but dogs are alone in this worls whose food is totally supplied by us. especially stray dogs…people dont feed them over that they pick up a stone and hit them..i mean why on earth would you do something like that. i hate these kind of people. and every person with a heart and a little mind must hate them like me too. so from now on please dont hit them, if dont wanna feed them its ok ….but dont kill them. Mark twain said “pick up a stray dog, feed him and make him prosperous…the doog will never bite you…will always protect you till he lives…and that is where a dog is different from man”.

love you

All spelling & grammatical mistakes(if any)above are from the author’s own publication. There has been no formatting done by the owner of this blog.

The original content of this text is from here

Movies

Boxer

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Saw a goofy movie today. It was called BOXER. It starred Mithun and is the story of a guy called Shankar who’s father is a boxer. He gets thrown in the jail for theft where a boxer named Tony teaches him boxing and after coming out of jail, he becomes a professional boxer. Unfortunately in one of his fights, he gets hit in the left eye and the doctor tells him that if he gets hit there again, he may lose his life. So he gives up boxing, gets married and gets a job in a garage as a mechanic. When his wife announces that she’s pregnant, his younger brother(who’s like ten years old) starts scampering up and down the stairs like a mongoose, falls down, hurts himself in the head and becomes a brain dead vegetable. The doctor tells Shankar that he needs to get 2 lakh rupees to cure his brother. He has no other option left but to fight one last fight with the heavyweight champion.

If you don’t have the second CD of this movie, you can as well watch Rocky because after this point both the movies are almost same. The training sequences where he ties himself to a cycle and runs with his trainer sitting behind him(Rocky), where he runs along the beach with his trainer(Rocky III) and how he says goodbye to his brain dead brother before going to fight(Rocky II) remind you of the Rocky Series. The fights are quite decent but it’s quite apparent that they were filmed in normal speed and the speed of the reel increased later to make the fight look more violent and the boxers superfast. He almost loses it in the last few rounds but the brain dead brother miraculously wakes up and goes to the fight scene and cheers for his brother. From here on, shankar fights like hell and in the last round, both he and his competitor fall down. While the seconds are counting, Shankar manages to get up at the last second and the other guy doesn’t.(Reminds anybody of the last scee in Rocky II???)

Mithun had quite a good phsysique in his old days. Anyways, the movie is pretty decent considered you haven’t watched any of the Rocky movies.

Hate, Rant

Kolkata..

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This place still sucks… All these months away, I had expected atleast some improvement but no!! Yes, there are changes, but no improvements. The traffic is as bad and the roads worse. Riding a bike is a pain in this city. The other day, I was almost run over by a tram. Yes, the tram tracks are on the road itself. Whenever it rains, the traffic situation becomes much worse. It’s also hot, humid and dirty.
The only thing good in this city is Someplace Else, the pub at Park Hotel. With Live bands playing every night and booze not very expensive, it’s a great place. The Hip Pockets play there wednesdays and fridays. They are a treat to listen to. They play all the classics and Pink Floyd numbers.
Also, I like cruising along St. George’s Gate road at night. The traffic is measly and you get a beautiful view of driving along the Hoogly river.
Anyways, getting tired of inactivity and boredom. Trying to accumulate the will to start going to the gym and hopefully, will go on Monday.

Rant

Block..

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Seems like i’m suffering from blogger’s block again.. Don’t have anything to write. Just that life’s going at a very fast rate these days. The last month passed by like a whirlwind.. Anyways, don’t think i’ll be blogging for some time now. Maybe when i’m back in calcutta in june..

Earth bound misfit, I