Music, Rant

Deja Vu, some very wierd experiences

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This seems straight out of the Final Destination movies. Today when I was sleeping in the afternoon, I had a vivid dream that I was in the CERN large Hadron Collider making some repairs with some other people when it strikes that if someone wants, they can switch it ON with me inside it and there’s nothing I can do about it. Now, the large Hadron Collider is a circular tunnel located 100m underground and has a circumference of 27km and used to conduct particle physics experiments. The weirdest part is that after I woke up and started reading the newspaper, the collider was mentioned the international section. It was sort of very strange. It’s certainly not a popular news item so why should it be in the newspaper on the same day I am dreaming about it? Also, even though I had read of the collider long ago somewhere in some novel, I hadn’t heard of it recently. I vividly remember that in my dream, I asked someone how long the tunnel is and he told me approx. 17 miles and I even calculated how long it would take us to circle it completely on foot. Now, when I came to office and looked up the collidor in wikipedia, it’s circumference was mentioned as 27km. When I convert this to miles, 27km= 27*0.621371192 = 16.7 miles!!! Which is almost the same as in my dream. Now, however long ago I had read of the collider, there’s no way I could have remembered this statistical detail and even then, it’s almost right.

Also, going through wikipedia I learnt that the first attempt to circulate a beam through the entire LHC is scheduled for September 10, 2008, only a few days from today. Creepy!!

Today in office I was walking through the second floor having just vended a couple of Perk chocolates from the vending machine when I felt the impulse to sing the song “Pour some sugar on me”. After I reached my desk and signed on to gtalk, I saw that one of my friend’s status was “Pour some sugar on me”!!! This really freaked me out!!!

What this means, I have no idea. If I go by the final destination movie rules, maybe I am about to really visit the collider on the 10th by some freak chance and the Def Leppard band members will switch it on and I will be bombarded with sub-atomic particles and meet my fate.. Maybe travel in time. Maybe I will even mutate into a superhero.. But certainly I will keep a lookout for more of these freak coincidences

Hate, Music, Rant

The Rock Scene in Delhi sucks…

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Today I got my relocation refunds back from office and decided to do what I used to do in Nagpur and Kolkata and never did once in Delhi. I decided to go to some awesome rock pub and listen to awesome music and have some awesome beer. With Goru with me(He even wore a Ramones T-Shirt for the occasion), I drove all the way to South Ext. from Gurgaon to look for the much Hyped “Cafe Morrison”. Someone had told me that live bands played there. After an hour of trying to find South Ext. and then half an hour to find Cafe Morrison, we stood below the Huge sign proclaiming “Cafe Morrison” with the words “Hard Rock” written below it. This indeed looked very promising and as we were entering, the manager stood in front of the stairs. Here’s the conversation

Manager: Yes Sir?
Me: Hard Rock Cafe.. We’re 2
Manager: I’m sorry only Couples are allowed
Me: What??? Couple entry?? In a rock pub??
Manager: Yes sir, only couples are allowed on the floor.
Me: Floor?? What floor? Dance floor?
Manager: Yes sir!!
Me: Shit man!!

This was the end of the grand evening I had imagined for myself. What rock pub would allow only couples inside and what would it do with a dance floor? I was disgusted with the place and immediately left. I called a friend of mine to find out if there are any more pubs nearby. He recommended me to Defence Colony market. I went there and looked for pubs everywhere but could find none. All that was there were Restro-lounges. Thinking that my friend must have been talking about one of these, we made our way inside the nicest looking of them all, the “Moets” The interiors were tribal inspired and the music sucked big time. When we entered, they were playing some pop numbers. The DJ soon shifted to hip-hop shit after that which prompted us to leave our beer and request him to play some “Rock”. The DJ made such a disgusting face as if I had mentioned something horrible to him(You sonnwabitch, Himesh cocksucker). After that, all he played was Black Eyed Piss and we obviously had to leave.

I remembered a place in one of the malls in Gurgaon called “Ruby Tuesday”. Thinking, it must be inspired from the Rolling Stones song of the same name, we left for it. We asked the manager what type of music they play and he answered “Imported”. Unfortunately, the music, even here sucked a lot. The only thing connecting this place to rock was a picture of Jim Morrison on the wall. Upon requesting him to play some Rock music, the guy quickly changed the song and we could hear the starting riffs of Smoke on the Water. But after a few seconds, we realized that the song was a remix by some unknown artist. So were Summer of 69, Hotel California, Eye of the Tiger, Another Brick in the wall and then everything all over again.

Frankly, I am hugely disappointed by the general Music scene of Delhi. I should I have known this beforehand because I have almost never heard of anyone from Delhi listening to nice rock music.

Someplace Else is the only thing I miss about Kolkata. Atleast it satisfied my musical needs.

Rant

Famous Trannies

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These are some people who I suspect are trannies disguised as women living a normal life in our society. Coincidentally they are all disguised as women. Here are a few of them.

1. Jamie Lee Curtis

She looks like a man and even has a man’s name. Word has it her parents were confused when she was born whether she was a man or a woman so named her Jamie. She tried her best to show off her body throughout her acting career but she still looks like a man.

2. Mayawati

She is so damn ugly and so disgusting to look at, even if she were to go around as a man, she would have been considered disgusting.

3. Hillary Clinton

Don’t know why a smart guy like Bill Clinton married this sorry looking hag but he surely found useful resources elsewhere(read:Monica Lewinsky). Because of here genes, even their kids look awful.

4. Fergie

Even though this Black Eyed Piss singer has stuffed silicon and adipose all over her body, one can easily see through it all that she is in fact, a man. Maybe gay.

5. Golden Brooks

This model is not even very famous but sure looks like a tranny.

6. Billy Joe Armstrong

This greenday singer looks like an unpopular college girl and even wears Kohl around her eyes to emphasize the fact

7. Karan Johar

Gay or straight, man or woman, he ain’t a normal man for sure

8. The Williams Sisters

I wonder how I could have been such a fool to forget the Williams Sisters(Thanks Crypt). They are the most manly so called females on the face of this earth. Those biceps put my thighs to shame

Motorcycle, Rant

Engine failure..

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Poor zapeedo, my trusty steed was recently struck down recently in the midst of his prime from a faulty connecting rod and crank. Now it’s at the greedy bloodsucking company service center waiting for a complete engine overhaul. Though it would be gone for a week now, and even after that I wouldn’t be riding it hard for quite some time, I couldn’t resist one last ride of thrill on him.

Rant

Sleep!!

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I feel sleepy.. That would have been a good thing if it was 3’O Clock at night which is the time I generally want to sleep but I can’t. At that time even if I am dead tired, I lay turning on the bed able to doze off only after an hour or so. It’s here in office that sleep beckons to me the most and it’s so tempting that I just want to go grab a bean bag, find a quiet corner and doze off… Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….

Rant

Lazy bastard 2…

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I have indeed been very lazy for the past year. I haven’t been to the gym for more than 10 days, i haven’t really played my guitar. What i’ve done is eaten a lot, drank a lot and wasted money a lot. I have used numerous excuses to myself to explain my laziness. Since most of the reasons stand invalid now, i’ve decided to turn over a new leaf and completely overhaul my life. Even though i perceive rough times ahead…..

Hate, Rant

How to become a certified Citizen of Gurgaon

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Here’s how you can become a true blue citizen of Gurgaon and blend right in with the people here.

1. Be in a farmer family for generations, and when the I.T. boom hits your city, sell the land for 500 times the original amount and become a millionaire overnight.
2. Buy a swanky car, write your children’s name on the rear window and raid the hip night clubs. Show that you have a lot of money but not a trace of culture or education.
3. Make sure to brake so as to make the tires squeal at every turn and play loud music. The music doesn’t have to be audible, just the bass.
4. Always carry a hockey stick, cricket bat, an iron rod or a similar weapon of assault in your car back seat. Always carry a licensed(which means it’s legal to shoot anyone at sight) gun in your trousers.
5. If anyone stares at you while passing by or overtakes you at a high speed, make the bastard stop and beat him up along with your friends abusing in Haryanvi.
6. When talking about money in front of people, never talk below crores.
7. When asking for directions from someone, abuse him and threaten him that if the directions turn out to be wrong, you are gonna make him pay.
8. Always say behenchod (sister fucker) or machod (mother fucker) when you talk to people.
9. Make sure your teeth are stained brown from chewing tobacco and smoking the cigarette.
10. Always be drunk from morning to night and make sure your breath reeks of cheap home brewed alcohol.

Rant

The Loner

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As the famous saying goes, everyone comes to this world alone and everyone leaves this world alone. People might argue otherwise but then those people are naive and living in a delusionary state. The only people who give a damn about you are your parents. Everyone else is just there in your good times. People might tell you they care about you, but all they care about is the good time you give them. If you’re boring, you have no friends. If you’re funny and entertaining, everyone’s your friend. Friends are very nice to you till you go to movies with them, hang out with them and crack jokes with them. They’re at their very best when you’re drinking with them. When you’re down and need something more than fun, you’ll suddenly find yourself all alone. They’ll keep watching movies, hanging out and drinking with someone else. This is because noone in this whole damn world gives a fuck about you at all when you don’t provide entertainment for them. All the promises of friendship and companionship go for toss at one point or the other. So, respect and love your parents because they’ll be the only ones who’ll be there when you need someone the most. I myself have started thinking only of myself when doing anything at all because as much you think of others, they’ll come back and screw you in the ass. One day you’ll find yourself fucked by anyone and everyone and bleeding at the side of the road with your “friends” and loved ones passing by you on the way to the disco.

Rant

Freaky day

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Well, yesterday was one hell of a Sunday. Had to stay home all day because the carpenters were doing their work and then in the evening as they left, it started to rain and we were trapped at home. We were sitting at our balcony and enjoying the rain when we saw a couple in the opposite house on the 3rd floor scooping water with mugs and buckets out of their balcony and throwing it in the streets. Their balcony must have been flooded in the rain and the water must have been entering their room the poor fellows. Well, we were always merciless so we laughed openly at them and their misery.

We were sitting in my room at night with the bottle of Smirnoff mentioned in the previous post and enjoying the booze, the music and the conversation when something hit my bed. Looking down, I saw my roommate’s slipper float down the room, past my bed. The whole room was full of water, ankle deep. Turns out, my roommate had left the water on in the cooler and it had overflown and filled the rear balcony. Since our rear balcony doesn’t have a drainage(Bastard builder), the water had filled the room steadily. On the balcony, the water was even deeper and we concluded that no matter what we did, the water in the room won’t go until the water level in the balcony subsided. We tried various things like soaking the water out, sucking the water out with a pipe but nothing worked. Finally with nothing left to do, me and my roommates set out to scoop the water out with buckets and mugs out into the back. It took us more than half an hour before the water level subsided and we could un-flood the room. By the time the mountain dew got warm and the vodka could not be enjoyed anymore. While scooping the water out, we couldn’t help but talk and laugh about the irony of it all. We don’t plan to apologize to the couple though.

Another thing which I discovered about this place was this new method of Pizza Delivery. If the pizza is to be delivered to the first floor of a house, instead of ringing the bell and going to the first floor, the pizza guy shouts out for the person. The person then comes to the balcony to receive the pizza. The pizza guy then skillfully climbs on to the ground floor wall and hands over the pizza to the guy in the balcony. In the same way, the person hands over the money to the pizza guy. I saw this thing happening in various houses on my street all day and finally caught one of these incidents on my cellphone. Click on the photo to see it full size. Can be the basis of a modern version of Romeo and Juliet.. Heh Heh

Earth bound misfit, I