How to become a certified Citizen of Gurgaon

Here’s how you can become a true blue citizen of Gurgaon and blend right in with the people here.

1. Be in a farmer family for generations, and when the I.T. boom hits your city, sell the land for 500 times the original amount and become a millionaire overnight.
2. Buy a swanky car, write your children’s name on the rear window and raid the hip night clubs. Show that you have a lot of money but not a trace of culture or education.
3. Make sure to brake so as to make the tires squeal at every turn and play loud music. The music doesn’t have to be audible, just the bass.
4. Always carry a hockey stick, cricket bat, an iron rod or a similar weapon of assault in your car back seat. Always carry a licensed(which means it’s legal to shoot anyone at sight) gun in your trousers.
5. If anyone stares at you while passing by or overtakes you at a high speed, make the bastard stop and beat him up along with your friends abusing in Haryanvi.
6. When talking about money in front of people, never talk below crores.
7. When asking for directions from someone, abuse him and threaten him that if the directions turn out to be wrong, you are gonna make him pay.
8. Always say behenchod (sister fucker) or machod (mother fucker) when you talk to people.
9. Make sure your teeth are stained brown from chewing tobacco and smoking the cigarette.
10. Always be drunk from morning to night and make sure your breath reeks of cheap home brewed alcohol.

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5 thoughts on “How to become a certified Citizen of Gurgaon”

  1. I’ve got a shirt bought from a restaraunt near Denali Park in Alaska, great food, and the Alaskan beer rocked too, a few yrs ago, and it says on the backI wish you were a beer

  2. He he!! I myself got this name from a T-shirt bart simpson was wearing in the Simpsons.. He He!

  3. so daam true …now its clear y sood got thrashed … he must have done the opposite of everything that .. u just posted …and btw … did u master the .. haryanavi accent !!!!

  4. yeah heh heh.. i, however have been more careful.. i generally dont look at anyone and continue my own way.. no man but i am still trying hard to master it.. it’s so rude and so vulgar it’s perfect for me

Talk to the dawg, yo

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