I wrote this article a few weeks ago on how I hadn’t never seen some famous movies. So we decided to start watching the Indiana Jones series, especially considering there’s a new instalment out soon. People make Indiana Jones out to be a sort of folk hero, so we were interesting in knowing the character better. What we found out was that Indy is just another toxic entitled white man.

The movie starts with Indy in a South American jungle trying to “retrieve” some priceless relic. But who gave a white American the right to take relics from another country? The mission eventually ends in failure when another white mean steals said relic instead, but not before Indy is able to kill a few Peruvian tribals.

The movie also uses the easiest movie villains ever-Nazis. Indy’s job is to prevent the arc of covenant from falling into the hands of Nazis. Because something like that can only be possessed by white people – the wrong white people or the right white people.

Indiana Jones, the rapist

The next thing we know about Indiana Jones is that he is a child abuser. His ex-lover Marion says so in no small words, accusing him of having sex with her when she was “just a child”. His comeback? “You knew what you were doing”.

The childhood rape has clearly damaged Marion beyond repair, who is now a raging alcoholic and a sex addict. Their relationship is also messed up, with her addressing him as “Indiana Jones” even in throes of lust, instead of his actual name. Indy has clearly been punished for his transgressions, too, because he fails to have sex with her on multiple occasions.

Indiana Jones, the ethnic cleanser

Not satisfied with killing Peruvian tribals, he goes to Nepal and whips and shoots a bunch of Nepalis, in their own country. Later, when he travels to Egypt, he whips and shoots a bunch of Egyptians in their own country. His lover even justifies this behaviour by yelling “I am American”, because that makes it acceptable.

At one point, Indiana Jones is surrounded by a bunch of Egyptian people, who, overwhelmed by the sight of a white man suddenly start begging. Indy tosses a few coins at a distance and the beggars crawl all over the ground to retrieve them. After destroying an entire marketplace, killing many people and blowing up a truck, he simply relaxes and openly drinks whiskey in the middle of the same marketplace. No repercussions, because he is white, na.

via GIPHY

Not surprisingly, the only people he doesn’t directly kill are Nazis, limiting himself to just beating them up, because the Nazis are white too, na.

Later, he hires some Egyptian labourers, using only whistles to order them around. Because why would he even talk to such lowlives? He makes them work day and night without break. Himself just sitting by doing nothing.

Compassion for Animals?

Indy kills a monkey by using him as bait for poisoned dates. Later, he pours petrol over a family of snakes and sets them on fire. Intent on proving that he abuses all species equally, he relentlessly whips a horse, too.

There’s also a moment where an Egyptian man (married with children) is kissed on the lips by the still sex-crazed Marion. The experience of a white kiss is so magical for him, he breaks into an impromptu opera, on the spot.

Eventually, the ark is retrieved by the right white people and transported to the greatest country in the world, America.

I am just surprised that the movie series and Harrison Ford hasn’t been the victim of cancel culture.