Tag Archives: guilt

Rant

Getting Rid of stuff

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You know the feeling of guilt you experience when you see that guitar gathering dust? Or the expensive camera that you don’t use anymore? I discovered some time ago that the only way to overcome this guilt is by getting rid of stuff. The KonMari method suggests getting rid of stuff which doesn’t bring you joy anymore & I follow this method in day-to-day life.

My Gadget Boxes

Below are some examples of stuff I have gotten rid of, in the last many years:

  1. I used to have a cupboard bursting with clothes, as my parents and in-laws kept gifting some every year. Yet, I noticed that I would only wear the same 4/5 T-Shirts and 2 pairs of jeans over and over again. One day I dumped all the clothes I didn’t wear (At least 30 shirts & T-Shirts, formal trousers) and gave them to our ironing guy. It felt so good to have a simplified wardrobe. I continue to maintain a sparse wardrobe till date.
  2. I sold my second Motorcycle because I just didn’t ride it anymore.
  3. Got rid of my bench-press and weights as I gave up exercising at home.
  4. I digitized and got rid of all old photo albums.
  5. Got rid of all the gadget boxes that had piled up over the years
  6. Got rid of my electric guitar because I couldn’t be bothered with setting the equipment up and plugging everything in anymore.
  7. I got rid of my 5.1 surround sound system as I didn’t use it much and the cables were a nightmare to maintain. Instead, I switched to Bluetooth speakers in different rooms.
  8. I sold my Gaming PC as it took up too much space. Instead, I switched to an Xbox for gaming and a Surface Pro 3 for computing.
  9. Sold the Surface Pro 3 as all I did on it was photo editing and got myself an iPad Pro.
  10. I sold my DSLR camera and lenses after pursuing photography for many years, because I lost the passion. Part of the reasoning was that phone cameras were now good enough for 90% cases.
  11. Handed down my iPad Pro to my daughter because I didn’t need it for photo editing anymore.
  12. Regularly donate my daughter’s old toys and stuff when she’s not at home. She doesn’t even notice.

I continue to follow the ethos of getting rid of stuff I don’t use anymore. This keeps my mind at ease and stops feelings of guilt of owning something I don’t use. The only things I can’t get rid of are my books, however old they may be.

Rant, Work

Obsession & Burnout-2

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Obsession & Burnout are back to haunt me. I have blogged about it before, but this time, things are a bit worse.

So, the background is, that after months of doing very light-level work, I have been handed a challenging project. Not an impossible project, not an easy one, moderately challenging. Others would be excited for this opportunity (actually were). However, I have already started obsessing about it all the time. My free time everyday, weekends and sleep time has been taken over by obsessively thinking about this project.

Some of this thinking is productive; that is I do accomplish some positive outcome, but most of it is irrational fear. Haven’t slept much last few nights.

Pathetic!

I believe the reasons for this are

  1. Lack of useful distractions away from work because of the lockdown (more apparent during the weekend). Examples of this includes going out to spend time with family, friends & family friends. I have not much to look forward to, all week.
  2. Lack of physical boundaries between work and leisure. Earlier, work happened in the office (mostly) and leisure happened elsewhere. Now there’s only one place for both (home), so it has become difficult to switch off from work mode when the day or week is over.
  3. My usual hang ups about obsession, that were always a part of me.
  4. Uncertainty about future events, some of which are beyond my control.
  5. Fear of failure, which is more or less irrational.
  6. Hectic schedule with both parents working and trying to handle a kid.
  7. Guilt of not spending enough time with family, forcing that to happen and being absent emotionally even then and not doing work either.
  8. Thinking about all the above amplifies the condition.

I plan to follow the steps below to deal with this situation

  1. Practice mindfulness everyday, and make it a part of daily life and log mood daily.
  2. Use organisation hacks like making lists for everything, tracking all To Dos etc.
  3. Writing down things that cross my mind at the end of the work day and when not working and can be done later.
  4. Establish chronological boundaries when it comes to work.
  5. Establish physical boundaries within the house when it comes to work (This might prove a bit difficult)
  6. Finding an engaging hobby (TV generally doesn’t help) to take my mind off such thoughts during leisure time.
  7. Wait for this to blow over, as such phases don’t last more than a few weeks.

For now, I just want one night of good sleep, to recharge my health and sanity, for which I will use a friend’s help.