Category Archives: Movies

Movies

Popular movies I have never seen

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Yesterday, while watching Guardians of the Galaxy, there was a trailer for an upcoming yet another Indiana Jones movie. Everyone cheered and I realised I may be one of the few who is not familiar with this series. I came back home and looked at the 100 most popular movies ever and realised there are many movies that I have never seen.

Below is a list of popular movies that I have never seen:

I call myself a movie buff and am ashamed to say I have not seen so many of these popular movies. Maybe I will try to catch up with some of them in the years to come.

Movies

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

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Yes, yes, I did say I was done with the MCU, but I still went to watch Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. Mainly because I didn’t want to end my MCU experience with the shit that was Love and Thunder. And boy, am I glad I didn’t.

In short, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 is a great movie. It is easily one of the best movies (Not only among MCU) I have seen in the last many years. And a perfect send-off to the Guardians after all these years.

Rocket Raccoon, Guardians of the Galaxy
Rocket Raccoon, Guardians of the Galaxy

The movie is part farewell to the Guardians and part Rocket Raccoon origin story. The origin story part is quite emotional and explains many things. The rest of the movie is great, too and there are many special moments. The guardians themselves are hilarious, especially Drax and Mantis.

My favourite characters were Rocket and Cosmo. I don’t even know where Cosmo came from. The first I saw of her was in the holiday special, which itself, was quite average.

Cosmo, the space dog
Cosmo, the space dog

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 is easily the best MCU movie I have seen till now, better than Infinity War and Endgame. My recommendation is, even if you are not an MCU fan, go watch the movie. You don’t need too be aware of the wider MCU either, the movie stands well on its own.

I will miss this series going forward.

Movies, Rant

I am done with the MCU

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After a long time, a movie post.
I won’t say I was a big MCU fan, ever. I did follow the movies in the Infinity Saga as they were entertaining. Wholesome superhero movies. 1-2 movies a year; I could easily handle that. I do remember waiting (not too excitedly) for Endgame, which I went to see with my nephew. Epic battle, many people die but the good guys win.

MCU: Avengers Endgame
MCU: Avengers Endgame

I wish Disney had left the MCU at that. But no, like a true corporate giant, they wanted to milk the MCU for whatever it was worth. And in the process, they ruined it.

They began Phase 4 with renewed energy. Movies, TV shows what not! I tried my best to keep up, I did.

My Effort

Even though I found WandaVision average, I finished all the episodes. I needed to keep in sync with the story, I said to myself or I will lose the plot.
Shang-Chi was below average but I still saw it.
The Falcon and the Winter soldier was below average. I could only watch a few episodes.
Eternals was so shit, I didn’t watch it altogether.
Spider-man No Way Home was good, but I felt the movie relied too much on the re-appearance of the older spideys to carry the movie.
Loki was average.
Multiverse of madness was a super bore. I couldn’t stand the Scarlett Witch.
Hawkeye was average.
Love and Thunder was surprisingly bad, especially coming from Taika Waititi.

But my MCU journey ended with Ms Marvel. I started watching it thinking there’s finally a superhero from the Indian sub-continent but it was such a drag, I gave up on the entire MCU after a few episodes.

Frankly speaking, Disney is putting out too much content and most of it is not up to the mark. If one watches only a few select movies, they will lose the plot quickly because important events happen in the TV shows, too.

Eventually, I realised I don’t have the willpower or the time to follow the MCU anymore and have given up on it. I may not even watch the upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy movie.

Life is too short to consume average content.

Movies

Jurassic World Dominion

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Another boring weekend with not much to do; I decided to check which recent-ish movie is now available to stream. After looking at various options, I settled on Jurassic World Dominion. Hence, another movie review.

The original Jurassic Park trilogy was revolutionary for its time, renowned for its animatronics. I saw them when I was a child growing up in the 90s. I was never a huge fan of the second trilogy, but saw the movies over the years as time pass, nothing more. Somehow Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard couldn’t recreate the same magic for me, as the original cast did. I didn’t have high hopes from Jurassic World Dominion to begin with but I found it surprisingly average.

Jurassic World Dominion, PC: agedxh.qc.to
Jurassic World Dominion, PC: agedxh.qc.to

The movie is set in a world where Dinosaurs now roam free. But otherwise the movie brings nothing new. A greedy corporation builds a Dinosaur preserve and tries to use the dinosaurs for personal greed. Things go wrong, a bunch of people (including the villain) get eaten by dinosaurs but our heroes save the day. In the end there’s a fight between 2 Apex dinosaurs. Same old.

The new villain in the movie is Tim Cook who uses Android devices. I wonder why they specifically chose him as he is not a particularly interesting or charismatic character in real life.

The return of the original stars

I will be frank; the return of the original cast carries the movie. Paleontologist Alan Grant (Sam Neill), paleobotanist Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern), and chaos theorist Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) still have amazing chemistry between them and it shows. There are many references to the original movies including a car-dinosaur scene and a reference to Jeff Goldblum’s bare chest. These throwback scenes make the otherwise average Jurassic World Dominion fun to watch.

Chris Pratt’s acting is just average and Bryce Dallas Howard has her perpetually terrified face down pat. If not for the original cast, the movie might not even be worth a one time watch.

I can recommend Jurassic World Dominion as a one time watch, for old times sake.

Movies

Moonfall

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Another Roland Emmerich disaster movie. When I saw the trailer for Moonfall a few years ago, I just burst out laughing at the premise. I didn’t think I would ever see it. But another boring Sunday at home changed my mind.

Independence Day was a really good movie; one of the few disaster movies done really well. Since then, the offerings from Roland Emmerich have really gone downhill.

Moonfall
Moonfall

Although the premise of Moonfal is new, the rest of the movie is the same as any other Roland Emmerich movie.

The movie starts with the protagonist, an astronaut who comes in contact with extraterrestrial technology while in space, but no one believes him. Fast forward a few years, he is now washed up and has separated from his wife. Surprisingly similar to David from Independence Day.

The other main character is an anxiety-ridden, IBS rocking conspiracy theorist one step away from a panic attack. He is always trying to convince people about his theories. He, too, ends up like David, running around with some computer printouts with data needed to convince people. The conspiracy theorist is also a fanboy of Space X and keeps saying “I love Elon”.

Same Tired Formula

The rest of the movie is entirely predictable. Same scenes of chaos and looting. People trying to get out of cities, while the moon falls to earth. The government orders mass evacuation. To where? All this talk about getting to safety. Which place on earth will save you from the moon colliding with earth?

When the government finds out that the moon is out of orbit what do they do? Go to the moon to investigate. A mission is organised and launched within days. Laughable.

Another scene of government retrieving someone to help them with “We need you to come with us, now”.

Also laughable is how they take a graffiti-ed space shuttle from a museum, prep it within days and launch with the crew being decided at the last minute.

The movie is also full of shameless advertisement of Kaspersky. Even the space shuttle systems have Kaspersky antivirus installed.

The only thing good about the movie is the VFX. The scenes of destruction are impressive. The shots from inside the moon are breath taking. Halle Berry’s acting is piss-poor.

Overall, I don’t understand why producers keep financing Roland Emmerich when he has nothing new to offer.

Movies

The Matrix: Resurrections-Another Chance

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Few days after walking out on The Matrix: Resurrections, I realised that the movie I had been waiting for so long deserves at least a full watch. So today, I decided to watch it again, this time all the way through. I also realised that the first time, I had some expectations of what I wanted to see; which I decided to leave behind this time.

The good news is, The Matrix: Resurrections is not as bad as the first 1 hour. The bad news is, it is still pretty average and forgettable.

Unlike the original trilogy, which was a philosophical/existential story with action thrown in, this one is primarily a love story with action thrown in. In the original trilogy, Neo and Smith were 2 sides of the same coin and were shown as a (not romantic) pair. Now it is Neo and Trinity who are an unseparable pair and one cannot function without the other. This is inconsistent with the original trilogy because Neo did just fine without trinity for decades, before being freed. The original trilogy had a serious tone, this one tries to be funny more than once.

Some More Points

  1. Neo now has a new signature move where he can Jedi force-stop everything – bullets, blows, missiles.
  2. The Merovingian is now deranged and suffers from overacting. Looks like he was added for pure nostalgia reasons.
  3. The new Agent Smith is not at all menacing. He tries too hard to sound & act like the original one but comes across as silly. Also, no one knows why he is doing what he is doing. First he beats up Neo something fierce, but later on saves their group.
  4. The new characters like Bugs lack true character, although the new Morpheus is good.
  5. Niobe is a bigger bitch than she was before.
  6. Too many flashbacks from the original trilogy in almost every scene.
  7. The new Architect/Analyst sucks. The last Architect was a suave and calculating program. This one is sexist, gets beaten up by Smith and even gets bitch slapped by Trinity. While the original Architect prided himself on being a program and hence not a liar, this one is a lying, conniving crook.
  8. Priyanka Chopra as Sati with her fake American accent is horrible. I hated seeing her. She cannot compare to the Oracle.
  9. The final action sequence (swarm mode) feels like a zombie movie.
  10. By the end, even Trinity has superpowers like Neo. It is not explained how.
  11. The myth of “The One” has been debunked. Although the Architect confirmed it to be true in The Matrix: Reloaded.
  12. The background score doesn’t really match the mood of the movie.

On a positive note, The Matrix: Resurrections answers quite a lot of questions pending from the original trilogy.

Some Questions Still Remaining

  1. Why did Neo age only 20 years in the real world when 60 years have passed?
  2. How did Neo have powers in the real world in Revolutions?
  3. How is Smith still around, when he was purged at the end of Revolutions? Why didn’t the machines get rid of him, considering he was a problem for them?

Also, the end credits have this version of Wake Up

https://youtu.be/teZUOeotO5g?t=29
Wake UP live by Brass Against
Movies

The Matrix: Resurrections is a cruel joke

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I have been a huge fan of the original Matrix Trilogy. They were thought-provoking, philosophical movies. So, when The Matrix: Resurrections was announced, I was very excited. I followed its progress for over more than a year. When ticket bookings started, I booked tickets on Day 1 and went to see it on the release weekend.

I have only one thing to say: Lana Wachowski is mentally sick and needs medical help.

The Matrix: Resurrections feels like a fan-made YouTube video, but with real big-name actors and actresses, financed by a reputable studio. From the very first scene, it is evident that the movie was directed by someone with no artistic skills. There’s no story as such, just a collection of bizarre scenes with no connections to each other. I don’t joke when I say that creatively challenged me would have made a better sequel.

Neo is back as Thomas Anderson, who is now a world-famous game developer. He is the developer of the Matrix Trilogy of games, who is forced by his company to develop Part four against his will. He is also a suicide survivor. His favourite thing is repeating “This can’t be real” over and over again and making cringey faces. Also,

  • Morpheus is somehow Agent Smith
  • Thomas Anderson’s boss is also somehow Agent Smith
  • Trinity is “Tiffany”, who people openly call a “MILF”

In the scene where Thomas Anderson meets “Tiffany” for the first time, her son asks him “Are you going to bone my mom?”.

What the fuck did I just see?

I had to pinch myself a few times to check whether I was dreaming or if all this was real. I also kept waiting to see if this was all just a joke and the real movie would start soon. Eventually, I couldn’t take any more and left an hour in. I don’t remember watching a movie this bad that I left before the interval. Even the propaganda video everyone is forced to watch and stand for was more entertaining.

I thought Chronicles of Riddick was the worst sequel ever, but this takes the cake. This is not only the worst sequel ever, but possibly the worst big-budget movie ever made.

I wonder at what point the cast and crew of the movie realised how shitty this movie is going to be and but were too embarassed to back out.

Now please excuse myself while I cleanse my brain by consuming alcohol and pretend that this never happened.

Movies, Music, Rant

School of Rock would end very differently today

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School of Rock is one of my favourite movies of all time. For those who don’t know, School of Rock is a 2003 movie starring Jack Black.

School of Rock
About to go to Jail, PC: Wikipedia

Black plays Dewey Finn who has just been booted from his band. He has no income and has a week to come up with rent money, so he impersonates his roommate as a substitute school teacher. Instead of teaching the kids the curriculum, he turns them into a rock band. Just a day before they are due to participate in the Battle of the Bands, though, he’s caught and makes a run for it. The kids, however, decide to run away from school anyways and participate. When the parents find out, they are furious. But when they watch their kids perform, the power of Rock n Roll melts their hearts. Finn ends up starting an after-school music program and the kids become regular rockers under his tutelage.

Even in 2003, the movie could hardly be called “realistic”, but in 2021 the entire premise is rather laughable. This is because parents these days are much more anal about school. As a father of a Primary Grader, I know. Some personal examples of the unbelievable lengths parents go to micromanage their kids’ schooling

  1. Parents taking an AQI meter to their kids’ classroom to fight with the school administration about how polluted the classroom is. All the parents gather and scream at the school to reduce ventilation.
  2. Parents taking a CO2 meter to their kids’ classroom to fight with the school administration about how stuffy the classroom is. All the parents gather and scream at the school to increase ventilation.
  3. Parents fighting with the school teachers if their kid gets a tiny scratch while playing.
  4. Woke parents fighting with the school teacher for using “he” and “she” to refer to the kids instead of “they”.
  5. Parents fighting with the school teacher because the muffins served for snacks had “too many raisins” & “too little wholegrain”.
  6. Parents complaining that their “precious kid” doesn’t get enough attention in class and feels sad (with 1 teacher for every 3 kids).
  7. They enrol their kids at International Schools and complain about how the curriculum is “too progressive” and there’s too little of “traditional studying”.

It doesn’t take long for them to make a new WhatsApp group and rally other parents against the school. After all this, they also have time to fight with the school administration about how high the fees are.

During our childhood, our parents were not as passionate about our schooling. I appreciate that parents these days are more involved, but some of them have taken things to a whole new level; especially those sending their kids to fancy schools. When I went to drop my daughter to school, I would always find some parent arguing with the teachers. I felt bad for the teachers and the school administration, that they had to spent so much time pacifying anal parents.

If School of Rock were to come out in 2021, people would probably have it banned immediately.

Movies

The Expendables 2

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I remember that in 2010 I went to watch “The Expendables” with high hopes (being an epic Sylvester Stallone fan) and came back just satisfied. The story was predictable, the action sequences were too over the top and mostly unrealistic. But it was an all-out action movie which did not bore. It was a one-time watch.
After 2 years, Stallone is back with a sequel. The story is even more predictable and the action sequences are entirely unbelievable. The good guys easily miss a hailstorm of bullets, while the bad guys die one-guy for one-bullet. They easily use high-tension power cables as zip lines (The pylons be damned), people turn up at the most un-expected places suddenly without warning and disappear without any explanation and it is decided that the best way to enter a mine is by crashing flying/driving an airplane through a mine-shaft. It is clear that instead of a story being written first and then scenes shot accordingly, they just shot the scenes as they pleased and hoped that the audience will forgive the massive gaffes and unexplainable events.
I being an audience easily forgive them. I spent most of the late 90s and early 2000s watching action movies. Sylvester Stallone has always being an idol and my most favourite actor. I have seen each Rocky movie at least 30 times. I have seen the entire series (at that time 1-5) overnight at one go. Similarly, I have seen the Terminator series (at that time 1 and 2) many many times, not to forget the Die Hard series. Those were also the days when Van Damme ruled the martial arts scene in Hollywood. They showed Bloodsport on Star TV every month and I watched it in its entirety every time.
There were mostly 2 types of action star fans back then. The ones who supported Sylvester Stallone and the ones who supported Arnold Schwarzenegger. I used to frequent Sylvester Stallone fan chat rooms back then and witnessed (and participated) in many arguments as to who will win if Sylvester and Arnold ever came face to face and who can kick the others ass more. The rivalry was legendary, even portrayed in some movies (Arnold becomes President of the USA in the dystopian future of The Demolition man and Sylvester’s character has a hard time believing it). Most arguments used to end with the same conclusion -“They are never going to do a movie together, so there’s no point arguing”. That has been the childhood dream of every Action movie fan of my generation – to watch Sylvester and Arnold together in a movie.
This movie not only fulfils that fantasy, but far exceeds that. Never would I have thought I would watch a movie with my favourite actors of all time – Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis and Van Damme together. Don’t be mistaken, they don’t have cameos in the movie. They all have substantial roles with the last action scene bringing them all together.
Look at the screenshot below
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Aah! Bliss!
Is that scene not perfect? What else can be more pleasing to the action lover’s eye, than watching Arnold, Sylvester and Bruce walking in unison and mowing down bad guys with their machine guns? Pure cinematic bliss.
So what if Sylvester takes down a helicopter flown by the bad guys with a moped (results in an explosion of epic proportions), but their own plane crashes and digs its way miles into a mine without so much as a fire?
So what if the movie actually has a sniper which fires 6 rounds in under 2 seconds?
So what if Chuck Norris destroys 20 people and 1 tank with just a gun? (Actually this one is not hard to believe at all)
So what if Sylvester Stallone easily defeats Van Damme in hand-to-hand combat?
We don’t care. Just look at the screenshot above. We don’t want anything else. We are glad Arnold’s political career has been shamefully destroyed and he can make movies now.
Surely, this movie will not win any awards (or even be nominated) for story, direction or acting. This movie was not meant to be appreciated by critics, be appreciated as a piece of art or win any awards. This movie was just made to please action movie lovers like me and those belonging to a generation before mine, which it does.
RIP Sage Stallone, who passed away last month due to drug overdose.
Movies

Prometheus

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I have not done a plot summary of the movie.
I have always been a science fiction fan and the alien series has always been one close to my heart, combining my favorite aspects of scifi – Space, future, and extra terrestrial existence. While Alien and Aliens are two of the best movies of all time, the sequels were comparatively disappointing (even though accepted by fans of the series). Similarly, although the spinoffs (Alien vs Predator and Alien vs Predator: Requiem) were set in the same universe as the Alien series, they were of a completely different genre (action compared to space horror). All in all, I have waited around 10 years for a true sequel to the Alien series to come out.
Prometheus is not a sequel, but a prequel (more on that later). I had read a bad review before going for the movie, after watching the movie, I was totally blown away. No, this movie is definitely not like Alien. Alien was released in 1979, almost 33 years ago. Expecting something along the same lines would not only have been unfair, but the movie would been stale and died the same way as Alien Part 3 and 4.
Prometheus is based in the same universe as Alien but approximately a few decades before Alien is (the exact year for Alien is not revealed). Although the incidents of Prometheus directly lead to where Alien started off, Prometheus is a very different kind of movie. Alien was a claustrophobic horror movie with a lot of suspense (you couldn’t even see the Alien except for the last part of the movie), whereas Prometheus is faster paced, overpowers you with lot more information and deals with a wider range of questions in general than the incidents shown in the movie. Some scenes would really get you on the edge of your seat and are worth watching.
All the actors acted very well, especially Michael Fassbender who plays Android David.
For science fiction fans, this is a must watch movie. For fans of the Alien series, you must watch it twice, to take in all the information presented in the film. As for me, I was left thinking for hours after the movie and still have not been able to recover from my trance.
Folks who are not much into science fiction can watch it for over the top visuals and action scenes, although it would be an insult to the real character of the movie.
************************Spolier Alert************************
Do not read on if you have not watched the movie, but are planning to
People who say this is not a prequel to Alien must be bull-shitting. Ridley Scott claims its not a prequel, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that it indeed was. It is not a prequel as the Star Wars Episodes 1 to 3 were,  as in it does not contain any common character, but it is obviously set in the same universe, contains common elements and the incidents of Prometheus directly lead to where Alien started off. These are the reasons why Prometheus is definitely a prequel to Alien
  1. The planet/moon is obviously the same (LV-426). The space ship the protagonists crash in Prometheus is obviously the same as Ripley discovers in Alien. The planet/moon seems to have seasons as in Prometheus there’s day followed by night whereas in Alien and Aliens, its perpetual night time.
  2. The company which sponsors the mission in Prometheus is Weyland Corporation, which seems to have merged with Yutani and become Weyland-Yutani Corporation after the incidents of Prometheus, which is the company which sponsors the missions after Alien. The motto “Creating new worlds” is the same as well.
  3. It seems to be a common practice in all company missions to have an Android on board.
  4. All crew members in prometheus as well as Alien (and later on in Aliens) are in stasis when the movie starts; wake up when they are about to reach their destinations, have breakfast followed by a briefing
  5. Earth is hardly shown (if at all) in any of these movies.
These are the questions (that arose in Alien) answered by Prometheus
  1. The origins of the derelict spacecraft found on LV-426
  2. Who the crew of the derelict spacecraft were and how they were killed
  3. How the Aliens became biped and how they evolved
These are the new questions posed by Prometheus
  1. Why did the engineers create humans as an inferior version of themselves?
  2. Did they also create every other creature on earth? If not, how come humans share similar DNA with them?
  3. Why did they want to wipe off human civilization from earth?
  4. Was LV-426 the home planet for the engineers? If no, why were they here?
  5. Did they engineer the Aliens themselves or did they trap them for use as weapons?
  6. Who created the engineers?
There definitely would be a sequel to Prometheus, however there are two routes it can take
One: Follow the voyage of Dr. Shaw and David as they set out to find the origins of the engineers. This would lead the series away from the Aliens and would be more in line with the Rama Series.
Two: The alien is left in the Prometheus escape pod at the end of the movie which is programmed to automatically head back to earth. However, it is unlikely that the writers would follow this angle.
After watching this movie, I would surely watch the now-sequels to maintain continuity. Also, the painful wait for a sequel begins.
I applaud directors like Ridley Scott. They didn’t have to make
prequels/sequels years afterwards; they have enough to swim in for years. They do it to do justice to the movies, to the fans and for that we thank them profusely.