Rant

Why I like the delhi metro

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Maybe because I like to be among the crowd. Maybe I feel secure lost in the sea of humans. But I really like just getting on the metro and going for a ride to no particular destination. One gets to see people of different cultures and places of different cultures. One of my favorite routes is Dwarka sector 9, where I park my bike to Rajiv Chowk. One gets to see the urban scarcely populated Dwarka residential subtown before passing through crowded areas like Janakpuri, Rajouri garden etc. At jhandewalan, you are greeted by the huge statue of hindu god hanuman and you can always get down at Karol Bagh, one of the oldest marketplaces of delhi which still challenges malls with it’s agelessness. At ramakrishna ashram, the train goes underground before you reach Rajiv Chowk where you can go topside and visit my favorite place, Connaught Place.

The trains, apart from being clean and comfortable are also very punctual. I prefer to carry a smart card with me so that I don’t have to buy tokens everytime. I recommend that everyone ride the metro atleast once though if a ride’s all you’re looking for, prefer to do it on a weekday as weekends can be a crowded affair. Also, make the return journey at night when the trains’s almost empty.

Rant

Bleak night

4 Comments

No, this is not a futuristic laser weapon. It’s my bike’s headlight. The way it looks like this is because it’s trying to penetrate the thick fog before dying midair before managing to reach the road. Fog conditions here were at it’s worst tonight with visibility down to a few meters. The journey back home from office which usually takes a few minutes took almost 20 minutes. I couldn’t drive faster than 20kmph lest I bang into someone or a truck mow me down. When i did reach home, my clothes were soaking wet. A fun experience after all riding like that. The uncertainty of what lay ahead and whether you’re still on the road drove into a ditch.

Hate, Rant

To the 15(16?) year old wannabe

13 Comments
The post below was written a few years back, but somehow did not get published. I think it is about a girl whose blog I used to follow, though I am not sure.

Ah! It would be fair to start with the fact that you are as immature as your blog. I know that some people don’t age mentally as fast as they do chronologically, but they are immature in different ways. Remember the 10 year old kids telling each other how they had 10 servants, a huge swimming pool, how much money their dad earned??? That’ s how immature you are. Now, to rock. There are three categories of people there.

  1. People who love rock.
  2. People who don’t love rock.
  3. Wannabes

Sorry to say but you belong to the third category. You try to show that you are a rocker to be COOL!! You try to show that you are THE ROCKER. You post things about rock on your blog. But dear, have you told everyone that you like 50 cent? A person’s love for rock is not reflected by his ability to memorise the names of lots of bands, his bragging off or anything else. It comes from deep inside from his love for the music. Converting to buddhism to show how similar you are to Kurt Cobain doesn’t show your love for rock. It’s an insult both to Cobain and to the religion. You claim you are the President of the Buddhist Club of your society. I am sure the club has more wannabes and 10 years in it with nothing better to do. You claim to drink. Again, the ability to drink doesn’t show how cool you are. I am sure that wiff you had from that vodka resulted in a hangover. Also, Green Day is not punk rock. By puttin it in the category of punk, you are insulting great punk bands like The Ramones and the Sex pistols.The only thing that connects you to rock are your manly sideburns which make you look like Elvis Presley. In fact, you would make a great elvis presley impersonator.

All your emails end with the link to your blog. Frankly, doing this only shows your desparate attempts to draw people to your blog. Jumping your sitemeter to 1600 from 100 is not the ethical thing to do. Also, your terrible immaturity is reflected in your msn status messages. Ok, you spent some time with your friend and you thought it was great but that’s no need to put that up as your status message. Frankly, it makes me think you have no real friends. Also, playing flight simulator for hours on your computer doesn’t make you a pilot. Believe me, it’s a lot different in a real cockpit.

I know these few days are very hard for you(We know why!!) but do try to grow up and hang out with people more your mental age(10). And remove the link of my blog from your’s. It’s embarassing..

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Music

The Wall – Live in Berlin

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I had heard of the Pink Floyd Wall Live concert in Berlin for a long time but never got around to watching it. After hearing and reading about it a lot, I decided to watch it. After all it had great names associated with it like Roger Waters, The Scorpions, Bryan Adams and Van Morrison. The Wall Live concert in Berlin is a live rendition of their album “The Wall“. The playlist is almost the same but the similarity ends here. While the album had a very raw, cruel hard rock feeling to it, the concert is more of a Musical Show with the whole orchestra sitting there. It completely lacks the raw hard rock feeling the album had. The album was psychedelic, depressing while in the show, most of the songs have 6-7 singers singing and a 100 piece orchestra playing in the background. It gives the show a soft gentle feel which is completely out of tune with the feeling the album gave. Can you imagine a flute playing anywhere in the Wall movie?

So with great expectations, I start watching the concert. A white limo surrounded by harleys move onto the stage and The Scorpions get off to give a high voltage performance of In the Flesh?. All is going good when the song ends. The next few songs are by different artists and keep getting softer with a Sax Solo in Another Brick in the Wall Part 1. Another Brick in the Wall Part II is by Cyndi Lauper who is in a School Uniform and keeps jumping around as in the Circus and making faces. In the solos, she is behind the guitarists and seems to be trying to smell their asses. I say solos, because there are 3, each almost the same but by 2 guitarist and 1 Synth by Thomas Dolby. The first Solo is something like I would be playing after my first week’s practice of the song on the guitar. At this point, the stage crew start building a huge wall on the stage which gets completed in the songs to come. The song I was looking forward to was Young Lust by Bryan Adams. The song seems really great and Bryan seems to be playing the guitar himself in his trademark kneel back style. Somewhere into the 2nd paragraph of the song, Bryan gets too much into the song and swings his guitar away and lo! The guitar seems to be still playing. After a while we notice the real guitarist standing somewhere behind the edge of the wall in the darkness, with th spotlight on Bryan. I did not understand why Bryan needed to mime the guitaring. He could have just sung the song and be done with it instead of moving his fingers in complicated motions and seeming to concentrate really hard on the guitar. Anyways, I tried forgetting about it and thinking that the song sounded good anyways. Jerry Hall has a brief role as a slut groupie who comes on stage to admire Pink’s imaginary room.Hey You is performed by Paul Carrack and sounds good, though nothing like the original song and no feeling. Comfortably Numb performed by Van Morrison and again, sounds good but nothing like the original. It’s almost kind of soft and it seems you are listening to an opera. The solo is kind of a duet between the two guitarists and in trying to make it different from the original solo, they screw it up completely. The song In the Flesh is again performed by the Scorpions, though this time, it’s very very obvious they’re faking it because the guitars start playing even before they get off their posh limo and throughout most of this song and also Run like hell, they’re just running around and giving each other high 5s while the real guitarists keep on playing in the darkness behind the wall. The Trial is really good performed by mainstream hollywood actors at the end of which, they break down the complete wall ad finish off with The Tide is turning which is not very much unlike We are the world performed by Michael Jackson and various other singers, blind and otherwise.

Overall, the concert is quite entertaining, but fails to capture the original essence of the wall. In fact, it doesn’t even sound anything like Pink Floyd and it would be quite disappointing to the fans of the band and the original album. Roger waters plays nothing in the whole concert and his total singing time is also somewhere around 20 minutes. It would be better if watched from a neutral mindset and no comparisons made to the album. Personally I think that David did a much better job with Pulse tour.

Rant, Satire

Bride needed for Kayastha boy

13 Comments

I am looking for a prospective bride for my Kayastha roommate. He is now frustrated and needs a girl. Since he cannot get a girlfriend, he has turned to marriage. Criteria for the girl are

1. Should not be taller than my roommate i.e. 5 feet 4 inches
2. Colour no bar
3. Same caste is preferred, though some other caste would do fine if exceeding the other criteria.
4. Should be working. Company doesn’t matter as long as money is good.
5. Should be fine with my roommate drinking till late night with friends(us) and not coming home at all.
6. Should not wear revealing clothes.
7. Should know how to drive car/bike as my roommate doesn’t know either.
8. Even if superior to my roommate, should pretend that she’s inferior to satisfy his male ego.
9. Should be fine with a balding husband.
10. Should be used to abuses and curses floating around the house.
11. Should be aware of a low-rent spacious apartment in Gurgaon where me and my other roommate can move into after the groom is gone.
12. Should cook well and be prepared to feed us whenever we drop in for some nice food.
13. Should be able to pour beer with expertise without spilling it while retaining just the right amount of foam.

If there are any revisions, will update accordingly. Guy working in a German ERP company. Guy’s parents are ready and marriage can take place within a year. Interested girls, parents please contact me by comments here.

Adventure, Motorcycle

Road Trip

10 Comments

This weekend, I did what I wanted to do since many years. I wen to Chandigarh by bike, alone. Had slept very late friday night (in fact Saturday morning), still woke up at 8 to beat the early morning traffic. Wasn’t feeling very well(was suffering from cold and allergy) so went to the neighbourhood doctor who jabbed a syringe full of some medicine in me and I was up and running in half an hour. Left at around 9 in the morning and was out of Delhi in under an hour. Let the throttle open and did a constant 80-90 kmph till Karnal for 2 hours where I stopped for some coffee and Kathi Roll and to stretch my legs and wash my face. Reached Chandigarh around 2 in the afternoon and hung out with friends and boozed after many years. Slept like a log till next morning and after roaming around a bit more, left around 4 in the afternoon and once again, stopping only once at karnal for 15 minutes. The bike performed admirably even when I didn’t rest it for hours and didn’t drop my speed below 80. Reached gurgaon at around 9 at night. Waking up in the morning today, it all seems a dream but my aching back and neck are proof all that happened.

Adventure, Music

Saturday..

6 Comments

Had a very eventful Saturday. Woke up late as usual around 2 PM. Picked up goru and went to meet ARC to CP in the evening. Went to a pub called blues in the outer circle. A guy was singing love duets with some girl strumming a guitar and playing the rest of the instruments through fruity loops or saw on his laptop. No one was least interested in him until he played some GnR song and Goru sang with him in his usual Axel Rose-ish way. The crowd started cheering and girls whistling. After 3 beers each, when people started calling Goru a rock-star, we felt the insult and left, delhi being a place where people also call himesh a rock star..

We tried buying tickets for Quantum of Solace, but couldn’t find any tickets and drunk as we were, we decided to watch Deshdrohi. After grabbing a bite at Mac Donalds, we went into the hall. There was a psycho foreign woman there who was pushing us for no reason at all, away from her seat. Goru called her a racist and offered her coke on which she gave a shocked expression and went away.

The movie started with a scene of KRK getting beaten up by goons and Gracy Singh coming to his rescue. Scene after scene, we get to see the 5 feet tall KRK (wearing high heels of 6 inches and still looking shorter than Gracy) getting discriminated against and getting beaten up by various marathi manoos. All the dialogues, he delivers with passion and tears brimming in his eyes. When he can take it no more, he transforms into a balls squashing screaming superhero and starts killing people. We couldn’t take it any more after the interval and left. After wandering around for sometime, we decided to go inside again and watch the rest of the movie. The usher said that’s not possible and drove us out of the theater. That was the limit of insult.. Us not being allowed to watch Deshdrohi.. How desperate can one be? We burst out laughing at this and left.

On our way to a Cafe Coffee Day outlet, we saw a Sports Bar with a sign outside it announcing that Bobby Cash was playing there. We went inside and ordered more beer and felt pity at watching the guy who was once in Australian Top 10 charts playing at a Connaught Place bar. The guy played amazing. He was playing the 6th string as a bass roll with his thumb, playing lead with his little finger and strumming chords with the rest all at once. It was amazing!! It was like 3 people playing three different guitars. After sometime when we ran out of cash for more beer, we left and sat at ccd where we devoured chocolate fantasy and cafe mocha.

On the way back, with my knuckles and fingers freezing with cold, as I was about to overtake a parked car from the left, he suddenly started moving left without any indicator and I slammed into him at a speed of 80kmph. Thankfully we weren’t thrown off and we didnt fall down. But somehow my leg touched the engine/silencer and got burnt at some places. Inspecting the damage revealed a bent leg-guard and brake pedal which got straightened with some persuasion. Went home, listened to some good music and will sleep in sometime.

I have realized something that whatever pub, bar I go to, nothing can match Wednesday and Friday nights at someplace else.. The feeling is incomparable.

Rant

Amazing Advertisement – Durex

8 Comments

I saw this amazing ad of an apple flavored condom in the newspaper today and thought I just had to put it up here. I applaud the people who thought of the captions. Click on the image to see a bigger version.

“Your turn to seduce her with the forbidden fruit” Ha Ha..
“Next time she’s hungry for love, offer her a heavenly temptation.”

This is creativity at it’s best. Excellent Job!!

Rant

How to gain weight rapidly

6 Comments

I am writing this from my personal experience over the past 2 months or so. The easiest way to gain weight is to go to gym for a few days and then stop going for a week or so. Go again for a few days and then stop going for a week. I don;t know why this happens, I just start eating like crazy after I go to the gym and the effect remains for a few days even after I have stopped working out. The weight gain is at all the wrong places and of the wrong sort so beware. He He.

Movies

Deshdrohi.. (The one who betrays his own country)

9 Comments

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This is a goofy trailer of a movie doing the rounds on Tv these days. The name of the movie is “Deshdrohi”. It’s based on the atrocities committed by Raj Thakrey’s goons against “North Indians” namely biharis. The guy is shown to be threatened by a police inspector on the phone and called a bhikhari(beggar). To which he replies “Hey Inspector.. Mera naam rajkumar singh yadav hai.. aur yadav sirf raaja hota hai.. bhikhari kabhi nahi banta..” (Hey inspector, my name is rajkumar singh yadav. and a yadav is always a king, never becomes a beggar). He is also shown to be beaten by marathi manoos after which he starts fighting for his rights and kills manoos either by punching them in the groin or the face by the dozen. He even shoots policemen armed with sticks without remorse. Meanwhile he also finds the time to romance a girl, sing love songs with her but finally meets with an obviously very painful end alone in the dark streets.

I wonder who agreed to produce this movie and why. Maybe they thought it would be a big hit in Bihar and the bihari rickshaw wallas kicked out from maharashtra can compensate for what was done to them by watching this.

The actor Kamaal R Khan looks like an asshole and every serious dialogue he throws at his enemies with passion just causes us to laugh at him. His hairstyle is a throwback to the 50s and the emotions and expressions essayed by him are really over the top. If you are a tormented bihari kicked out from the state of maharashtra, then seriously go and watch this movie.