Rant

Jinxed watch

3 Comments

The watch in question is a Citizen EcoDrive WR50 model. It was brought by my mom for me in 2001 from a Citizen store in Chandigarh, Sector-22 and cost around 4500 bucks. Since then, we have had a rough history together. Still remember the University riots at the end of first year in Nagpur. Students were protesting against the abysmal results the university had declared. We were standing amongst the crowd on the road in front of the university campus and chatting about how we should lynch the vice-chancellor. Suddenly there was an uproar and people started running towards the inner courtyard. Swept along with the crowd, me and a friend of mine suddenly found ourselves avoiding a stampede and running towards the inner courtyard. Before we knew it, I was all alone in the courtyard surrounded by policemen. Trying to avoid stick blows, I ran towards the nearest wall as the gate was now manned by 4-5 policemen. Just as I was climbing the wall, there were quite a few blows on my hands and back. Somehow I managed to escape and found myself running towards Birdie as I had never ran in my whole life. When satisfied that I had lost them, I stopped and soon noticed that my watch was no more with me. It must have been shattered by the sticks. That was the end of the watch.

Not quite.

In 2005, my parents visited Nagpur and asked if they could buy me anything. Since I didn’t have a watch, I asked them to get me a watch and promptly chose the same watch/same model. Once again, I walked out of Piramyd Mall wearing the watch. I didn’t wear it much as I am not a “watch” guy. A few days later while coming back from college, riding Neeraj’s bike with him sitting pillion, I met with my first major accident. A madman jumped in front of the bike and the collision sent us flying along the road. Luckily we came out with nothing more than bruises and pain in different parts of the body. As it turns out, I had worn that watch for the first time since I had got it and the glass dial was shattered. I had it replaced at a watch store and didn’t wear it for many days. Until the exams. We were not allowed to take our mobile phones along and I wore my watch so that I could keep time. While coming back from college on my bike and with my friend Sanchit sitting behind me, a madman(on a bike this time) cut me off and trying to make the sharp turn, my bike skidded and once again me and my friend went sprawling along the road. Same injuries at the same places. The watch was severely scratched along the dial.

Since then, I have not worn the watch once and would be unlikely to do so in the near future(Until the scars are gone that is..)

Rant

Blog Post

5 Comments

I am writing a post for my blog because I haven’t written one for quite some time. The few people who do come to my blog are now bored of the panty ad. I have no idea what to write. Seinfeld is coming on the TV and Jerry is disturbed because the maid whom he started having sex for has stopped cleaning. What the fuck am I writing? Don’t I have anything better to write now? My phone is running out of battery now. Or is it my laptop? I think I need some beer. But where is it? Wasn’t it on the table? No, that was way back in nagpur. Jerry fired the maid because she had become a prostitute. Hey, I want a game of battleships too. But whom would I play it with? Maybe I should buy a 2-way mirror now.. Sleep is overwhelming. But am I ready to give in yet? Or Am I? Now I am sure I am blabbing. But isn’t that what I have been doing since forever? Oh!! There goes the phone again.. If the battery is low, it should probably get some cocaine. But then I don’t own any Eric Clapton LPs. Elaine is a bitch..

Rant

Hello.

Leave a comment

Life’s been pretty even these days. Wake up late, barely manage to get to office before it is too late, come back from office, sleep for a while, sit around on the internet and then go out for dinner/beer after 10 when the traffic is bearable. Watch a little TV and then go to sleep and then the cycle repeats again the next day.

It’s now 100 posts and almost 2 and a half years since I started blogging in December 2005. There have been times when I have blogged more than once a day and times when I haven’t blogged for months. There have been sad posts and there have been happy posts. There were posts full of praise and there have been even more posts full of sarcasm, hatred and rudeness. Will keep the sarcasm and hatred flowing here as long as I can..

Hate, Rant

Freak..

4 Comments

One place where you can always find freaks in excess is orkut. Here is one of them.

Calls himself the “Sexiest guy in town”. Well, the question is, if the guy really is the sexiest guy in town, why does he have a photo of Vin Diesel on his profile? Apparently, the guy’s biggest passion is girls. The activity he engages himself in is “Making love”. As usual, the music that he likes is “Rock”. I don’t understand why people think listening to rock would make them look cool. And after that they mention their favorite band as “linik park”. Ha Ha!! Thanks to such freaks, people like us have something(one) to laugh at from time to time.

Rant

Rahul Dravid

5 Comments

Poor guy. Some talented people(like me) are never appreciated in this world. Take Rahul Dravid. This guy’s career has been full of nothing but bad luck & criticism. Started playing for the Indian Cricket team in 1996. Was soon dropped after. Showed commendable performance in tests but never really managed to click in the one dayers. He’s one of the only three Indian batsmen who have scored 10000 runs in test cricket. Also scored a msssive 461 runs in the 1999 world cup and was the top scorer too. He has a reputation of consistency in test matches and the inability of the bowlers to remove him from the pitch. None of this seems to have satisfied critics. Poor guy has been dropped from the team so many times, even he may not remember on a particular day if he is in the team or not. Was made the Indian team captain in 2005 but resigned a couple of years later due to intense criticism. Now, the captain of IPL Royal Challengers, he has sucked even more. It hurts to see a player seasoned for test matches trying to score boundaries and hit sixes fruitlessly and failing miserably. His team has won only 1 of the 4 matches till now and future chances don’t look that good. In the last match against chennai, poor guy got out on the first ball and later was made fun of by the TV channels. After the match Dravid was sitting dejected by the side while his players were smiling and giving interviews. It’s sad to see a good player being made to do something he’s not made to do and then being ridiculed.

Rant

How to win a cricket match

5 Comments

Imagine getting dressed for over an hour to go see your city’s cricket team play at your city’s “prestigious” stadium. Imagine applying that extra oil in your hair and taking out your favorite dhoti for the cricket match. And then imagine your team losing to Hyderabadi’s. What do you do then? Simple!! You switch off the stadium lights and allow your players to catch some much needed breath.

This is what happened on April 20 at the “prestigious” Eden Gardens. The Kolkata Knight Riders were on the verge of losing the match to the Deccan Chargers. Run rate was way down and the required run rate was increasing like anything. Just when there are 24 runs to be made from 20 balls and you feel that their team may most certainly lose, the Bengalis freak out big time and go sabotage the stadium lights. The batsmen who were under high pressure, get a much needed rest, have some energy drink, stretch their muscles, crack a few jokes and come back to the feel well rested, knock up a couple of sixers and win the match. The official explanation was “Short Circuit”. When have the stadium lights ever been off for a full half an hour in a match of this level? Certainly a little more than co-incidence. Or maybe Shahrukh Khan dropping a few lakh bucks towards the stadium guys..

Rant

P.D.A. in Kolkata

9 Comments

(P.D.A = Public Display of Affection)

I don’t know what’s up with this city. But one thing that you will abundantly find in all good quality restaurants is P.D.A. This is because of the high price of hotel rooms in city or because people like to show they have girlfriends, I may never know unless I ask some couple myself. They can be found in all the good restaurants and pubs on Park Street. They sit on the same side of the table and are constantly groping and touching each other. Some even go to the extent of smooching openly.. Atleast spare me of this embarrassment if I am ever sitting with my parents. IS this some way to show that you guys are cool? That you are as open and forward as the Americans & the Europeans? Can’t you just get a fucking hotel room and make out? And not surprisingly most of these couples are teens maybe from school. Explains them being wannabes for sure. Unfortunately, even the only place I like in Kolkata, Someplace Else (Someplace Nice :-*) could not escape the infiltration of these “Lovers”. While I try to enjoy the awesome music, there are always a few couple in the eyesight either groping or the guy grinding his thing on the girl’s ass. Moreover, they request for songs of Shaggy, Daddy Yankee(Who the fuck is he? Who’s daddy is he?) and dance on The Doors & Floyd and spoil the atmosphere. You fucking sexually frustrated creatures, why don’t you just go upstairs and rent a room for the night? Why do you have to brush against me again and again?? Go S.O.D. off!!

Hate, Movies, Rant

6 Ugliest Women in Bollywood

26 Comments

Here is a list of 6 of the ugliest bitches in Bollywood(Indian Film Industry). Wonder why people still like them.

  1. Kajol:- She’s plain ugly. She looks like a man. Her lips are a straight line and her smile is the same ways. She has bushy eyebrows and looks disgusting. Why do people like her? That I may never know.
  2. Ekta Kapoor:- She’s so damn ugly. She has a face similar to and as big as a watermelon cut in half. What I hate more than her face is her soaps and her movies. You always have shit smeared on your forehead too.
  3. Gauri Khan:- She is ugly, but earlier she used to be sober so it was fine. But now she dresses up like some Page 3 model and thinks she’s glamorous. She always also applies some oil on her face because it is always oily and shining.
  4. Esha Deol:-She is clearly the result of a careless fling with a rickshawalla(George Bernard Shaw). With a nose that has been dug with her manly fingers and toes, she is the epitome of ugliness. Born with an irrepairable squint and a completely wooden body sans any form of curves, she has also been endowed with the most shrill voice which will drive you crazy to kill a puppy.
  5. Farah Khan:- She’s the fat baby producing machine who likes to insult other people for their singing. Also produces “s” as “f”. So “suck” is “fuck” and “sell” is “fell”
  6. Karan Johar:- She’s stubby and has a very bad hairstyle. Also, she almost looks like a man. Dresses up like one too.
Adventure, Motorcycle, Weather

Thrill!

1 Comment

Yesterday I discovered a new kind of thrill. I had just left office and was on my way home when it started raining. Not just a drizzle but a heavy downpour. Too lazy to go back or take shelter somewhere, I decided to go on. Upon reaching the long flyover on my way home, I decided to go really fast. So I twisted the throttle of my bike open and raced ahead. The thrill and excitement I experienced was beyond comparison. As the bike gained speed, the wet clothes suddenly stuck to my skin and it was a feeling as if someone had just sunk me in freezing water. Heartbeat increased fast as I went faster still. One reason I had never experienced this before was that I never used to wear a helmet before and it’s impossible to go at even moderate speeds in the rain as the rain drops try to kill my eyes. It was almost invisible up ahead as the helmet visor was completely wet. Add to that the headlights on high beams from oncoming vehicles. Above a speed of 100 kmph, the rain drops started to sting any exposed bit of skin(the throat and chest) like needles. Anyways, after driving like mad and thanking my stars that the cops did not see me, I stopped at the traffic signal ahead of me. There I noticed that everyone was staring at me. The reason being that the raindrops falling on the hot engine had made a cloud of vapor which had surrounded my bike. It was a sight worth seeing and a feeling worth experiencing.

Earth bound misfit, I