My punishment..

This evening was pretty depressing. And I blame it all on google earth. Was just browsing over the planet when I came upon Chandigarh. Zoomed in pretty close and seeing the old roads and familiar structures brought back fond memories of those good ol’ days. I still remember how Bhavesh and I cursed the city before I left for engineering and he left for law studies. We were on his bike going from his home to mine at night and cursing and shouting through the streets. Now I am having to pay the price of my foolhardiness. Soon my parents shifted over to Calcutta. I can frankly say that if Chandigarh was 10, Calcutta is pretty close to 0. I had the best days of my life in that city. I can never forget that first year in college(Class XI) when I used to bunk with Vishal. Then came Iota, Aaron and Atul. Atul has been my friend in my dire times and is one of the best and most genuine guys I know. Had some pretty memorable moments with him. Remember the time you joined our S.U.P.W. class of Industrial Chemistry even though your subject was something else? We got fined by the police for not wearing a helmet while coming back from visiting your cousin. Also miss those days when me, Divyadeep, Siddharth used to bunk tuition classes to go to Barista in Ebony every single evening and used to hit on the chewing gum chick. It hurts to think that those days are never coming back. And lastly, the most memorable times are the one I spent with you, Bhavesh. It was Atul who first introduced us. Remember when we first came to your place for Whistler? You also had Windows XP Plus! installed and used to play bowling on your optical mouse. You also had the Acer cd writer in which you wrote me an Audio CD. I still have that mind you. The countless times you came and rescued me from my place and we roamed about town together spending money like water. I remember I once went with you to some coaching classes where you went to enquire about Redhat classes. You were already an MCSE and CCNA then and that particular day when the institute guys looked up to you with respect when I decided to do something about my computer skills other than playing games and downloading gigs of data.Also, the time we met in VIBGYOR and the time you made a prank call at my home saying that you are from cyber crime division of Police. I can go on listing more such special momets but that will overload the server. I don’t mind that you broke the us.mpeg cd. You can go on breaking as many cds you want and I will mail you more. You are still my friendly wash after all. I also miss your parents and MYLO. Your mom made great AMLA juice(I don’t say it tasted great but it still was GREAT). Also I wish I had got to know your dad better as he is the coolest. It’s a pity that we don’t buy the same mobile phones like before anymore. Maybe we can after(if) I get a job. I would readily give up my Enfield for that trustworthy boxer we rode together for so many kilometres. We kept it up to date with regular(read: daily) oil changes. Also that time was funny when that drunk guy backed into the bike outside HM-vatika.
I have made countless plans of visiting Chandigarh in the past few years but each time something comes up and I have to cancel the plan. It’s a way of punishing me for abusing the greatest city I have ever lived in. Life is shit and barely worth living in this shithole.. Please forgive me so that I can spend more time there…

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Shittiest television ads..

  1. Clinic All Clear:Bipasha is sitting in some seaside house and John Abraham comes from somewhere on his bike. Firstly, the sound that’s coming from the 100cc yamaha bike is that of a v-twin engine. Also, if you notice behind the scene, you’ll see that John seems to be coming from the pier and there’s nothing behind that except sea/lake and a boat. So is either the extraordinary bike can travel over water or he has carried his bike on the boat. Really disgusting.
  2. HDFC Life Insurance:There are three main characters in this ad. A guy A, his son and his dad. The dad gets off the train. The son offers his hand but he rejects it and gets down himself as he won’t sacrifice his self respect. Next, as they are leaving, the small child trips over and falls hard on the platform floor. His granpa tries to pick him up but his son(child’s father) stops him from doing so as he won’t allow his dad to sacrifice his self respect. What the hell??? If a child has fallen down and is hurt, how does bending down to help him sacrifice your self respect? I hate this ad and it’s on TV on all the channels all the time.
  3. INTEL Pentium IV: Quite frankly, I feel that Intel processors are overpriced compared to their AMD counterparts. But reputation makes it the leading manufacturer in India. Anyways, remember the first Pentium 4 ads? They show people scanning photos, printing them and mailing them. And don’t forget.. You can also store them and also get a “richer internet experience”. This clearly shows how companies like Intel are maiing use of the largely computer illeterate population of India to promote their products. Can’t you scan and print photos on some other processor? How the hell can a processor affect the internet experience?? Does the Pentium 4 have html decoding on-chip? How can a processor affect the internet speed even unless it’s in the Gbps area??
  4. Royal Stag: Saif Ali khan sees a roadside musician playing guitar to earn money. So what does he do? Takes off his shirt, flexes his muscles and starts playing metal. Now, the guitar is a f-cut acoustic. But since saif’s a hindi movie hero, he can change laws of physics and do whatever he wants. The guitar isn’t plugged in anywhere but still manages to stream out loud music. Also, the sound is distorted without a distortion kit anywhere in sight. Distorted sound on an acoustic f-cut which ain’t plugged in? Really magic. Also, a female cop gets out of her car to arrest saif but instead seduced by his biceps and music instead loosens her hair and starts taking of her clothes. Really funny and childish.
  5. Slimming Belts: These products appear on numerous TV channels. What they claim is you just put the belt on for an hour each day and you will lose an inch every sitting. These are american ads translated in Hindi. The people(always 1 guy and 1 girl) always wear a stuoid expressions and fake smiles on their face. The before and after photos are clearly visible as doctored in photoshop. No diets necessary, you just put on the belt and lose fat and gain muscles doing nothing. Wake up people, if this was possible, people won’t be going to gyms working their asses off.
  6. Thums Up: This ad features Akshay Kumar wearing fake long hair. He’s standing on a beach holding a bottle of Thums Up but is unable to find an opener or any other way to open the bottle. So what he does is, climbs up a lighthouse. (Not inside, but the outside and goes right to the top without ropes or harnesses). He holds his bottle high up in the air and allows lightning to strike it. Magically, the cap blows off leaving the bottle intact. He then drinks it holding his head high unharmed by the lightning. This feat will put Benjamin Franklin and his kite experiment to shame for sure and make him cry out from his grave.

These are the most ridiculous ads on Televison these days and reflects the standards of the viewers. There are many more and would post them if I remember them.

Review of Krrish..

Well, I went to see this movie with pretty low expectations. I expected another Mithun type movie. But the movie quite frankly surprised me. The direction and the stunts are great. Hrithik looks absolutely great and so does Priyanka Chopra. The movie is quite believable. I am happy that Indian movies are exploring the science fiction genre. The only downside to the movie were the horrible songs. The locales are excellent and quite captivating too. Overall a decent movie.
Rating: 6/10

What I’ve been doing..

I am back in Kolkata. As usual, the city sucks big time. Got nothing to do, just sit at home and watch TV for hours, get a headache, have disprin, watch TV some more and then have disprin again. The weather is as humid as 6 months before. It sucks whereas Traffic is worse. Zee cafe is my favorite channel these days. Get lots of TV sitcoms like Friends, Full House(I love you michelle..), Seinfield, Caroline in the city etc. I have discovered that when couples go out in this city and visit some cafe or restaurant, they both sit on the same side of the table. Found that very wierd. Went out only once to watch a movie “Krrish”. Going to the gym in our society 5 times a week. After working out in a gym like Deshpande’s for so many months, I find it strange to workout in our colony gym which is Air Conditioned. Also, the gym has lacs of equipment for cardio but not enough for weight training. Also, the trainer is a creep whose only goal seems to be hitting on the chubby girls who workout for hours. According to him, every free weight exercise is bad for the body and damages the bones and has been banned. Also playing the guitar even though the strings are worn and I am too lazy to go out and search for new ones. The few friends I had here are busy with their girlfriends. Anyways, plan to celebrate Dad’s birthday on 10th and leave by 11th. Got a new motherboard for my PC. Can’t wait to get back to nagpur and get back on my bike. A car is OK but not the same as a bike.
Song of the day” Eye of the Tiger – Survivors”

Nerd of the Year!!

And the nerd of the year award goes to: Subhankar Mohapatra from Orissa.
His achievements : 98.6% in Class 10 CBSE exams.
Really, I don’t envy him. In fact I pity him. Just imagine how sad the life of this perverted twitch would be like. It’s not that he is an intelligent guy. The sicko studies for 12 hours a day throughout a year as he says in a statement in the newspaper: ” I study for 12 hours daily. Hasty pre-examination preparations don’t help much. Hence, I study in the same breadth throughout the year” the twerp says. Now let’s try to recreate the average day of this bstard.

  1. Study : 12 hours
  2. Schoo l : 6 hours
  3. Eating : 1 hour
  4. Bathing, oiling his hair and cleaning his glasses: 1/2 hour

That makes a total of 19 1/2 hours. That leaves 4 and a half hours for sleep.

What’s he gonna get by making his own life hell?? Ruining the best years of his life poring over textbooks?? Its not that people who get good marks in Class 10 fare well later in life. Higher technical education changes everyone. Bookworms can’t clear job interviews.
I just wish these nerd bastard drop dead and go to hell. The only positive thing they do is making others like me realize how many times better our life is than his..
Song of the day:- How do I live without you- LeAnn Rimes(Con Air Soundtrack)

Earth bound misfit, I