As an atheist, I do not believe in God & I believe that religion is the the biggest handicap for humanity. I believe religion is preventing humans from reaching full potential and living in peace with each other.
These are just some recent news articles I came across in the last few weeks, actual examples are many more. Most wars & conflicts in history have been because of religion (or women). Each religion preaches that theirs is the only true god and that people following all other gods are fools. How can religions co-exist peacefully with each other when the basic tenet of each religion is that all other religions are fake?
Religion is also a very powerful tool and a weapon. We have already seen many countries elect incompetent assholes as their leaders because of religious manipulation.
On the other hand, I do believe that religion serves a purpose other than handicap for humans. Research has proven that people who believe in God are happier on average than atheists. I can understand and agree with this research. If I believed that an imaginary being in the sky would automatically solve all my problems, I would be less stressed in life, too. Maybe belief in God evolved as an anti-stress and anti-anxiety mechanism in Humans? It is a good way to offload your worries on something else.
I just wish all this did not involve waging war on fellow humans.
Black plays Dewey Finn who has just been booted from his band. He has no income and has a week to come up with rent money, so he impersonates his roommate as a substitute school teacher. Instead of teaching the kids the curriculum, he turns them into a rock band. Just a day before they are due to participate in the Battle of the Bands, though, he’s caught and makes a run for it. The kids, however, decide to run away from school anyways and participate. When the parents find out, they are furious. But when they watch their kids perform, the power of Rock n Roll melts their hearts. Finn ends up starting an after-school music program and the kids become regular rockers under his tutelage.
Even in 2003, the movie could hardly be called “realistic”, but in 2021 the entire premise is rather laughable. This is because parents these days are much more anal about school. As a father of a Primary Grader, I know. Some personal examples of the unbelievable lengths parents go to micromanage their kids’ schooling
Parents taking an AQI meter to their kids’ classroom to fight with the school administration about how polluted the classroom is. All the parents gather and scream at the school to reduce ventilation.
Parents taking a CO2 meter to their kids’ classroom to fight with the school administration about how stuffy the classroom is. All the parents gather and scream at the school to increase ventilation.
Parents fighting with the school teachers if their kid gets a tiny scratch while playing.
Woke parents fighting with the school teacher for using “he” and “she” to refer to the kids instead of “they”.
Parents fighting with the school teacher because the muffins served for snacks had “too many raisins” & “too little wholegrain”.
Parents complaining that their “precious kid” doesn’t get enough attention in class and feels sad (with 1 teacher for every 3 kids).
They enrol their kids at International Schools and complain about how the curriculum is “too progressive” and there’s too little of “traditional studying”.
It doesn’t take long for them to make a new WhatsApp group and rally other parents against the school. After all this, they also have time to fight with the school administration about how high the fees are.
During our childhood, our parents were not as passionate about our schooling. I appreciate that parents these days are more involved, but some of them have taken things to a whole new level; especially those sending their kids to fancy schools. When I went to drop my daughter to school, I would always find some parent arguing with the teachers. I felt bad for the teachers and the school administration, that they had to spent so much time pacifying anal parents.
If School of Rock were to come out in 2021, people would probably have it banned immediately.
I was diagnosed with Myopia when I was 2 years old and have been wearing eyeglasses since. Both my parents were Myopic, so the genetic gamble was never in my favour to begin with. I don’t remember how it was like, wearing glasses all the time as a 2 years old kid, but it couldn’t have been pleasant.
I wore glasses all through primary & secondary school. My mother used to be furious because I frequently broke my glasses in the playground. Funnily enough, my glasses broke most often during exams. Then it would be a mad rush between studying and ordering new glasses from the optometrist. I specifically remember enjoying visiting Tosh Opticals at Paschim Vihar. They had nice modern looking equipment and air-conditioning. I remember us waiting for them to make the glasses while mother quizzed me on the topics for the exam next day. Since we spent most of the day at the optometrist, she didn’t have time to cook. We ended up ordering food from somewhere, which I enjoyed.
In the years that followed, I also dabbled with photochromic eyeglasses, rimless eyeglasses and gunmetal frames. That being said, at the end of the day, they were all eyeglasses and sucked balls.
During high school and college, I started realizing that the glasses were not doing my face any favours. I realized that I looked silly with them and started hating them more and more. Also, their weight would leave sores on the bridge of my nose where they rested. North-Indian bullies were not very friendly with glasses, either, calling me “chashmish” or “chamakkha”. I also realized that glasses provided inferior vision, as they didn’t correct the entire field of vision.
By second year of Engineering, I had made up my mind that I didn’t want to wear glasses anymore.
Seepage is when there’s a leak in a water supply or drain pipe in your home and the water gets into the walls. Seepage has given me much grief and anxiety over the years. Just last night I had a nightmare where I discovered seepage in my flat and woke up covered in sweat.
I lived in a house with a basement when I was young. One thing I remember vividly is that the basement was always damp and smelt funny. I assumed this was normal at that time.
Seepage Woes Part-1
I remember living in a rented apartment in 2015-2017. They had recently painted it and we were the first family to live in it. Within weeks, however, the bedroom wall became damp & the paint began to flake off. This would be the beginning of our long struggle with seepage. We informed our landlady who spoke with the building maintenance who fixed something on the outside drainage pipes, but nothing changed. We continue to press our landlord and she continue to hound the maintenance team but not much happened.
In the meantime, I discovered that seepage always comes in pairs. Our downstairs neighbour started to show up and complain about water leaking into his bedroom from our bathroom. Building maintenance broke our bathroom floor twice and repaired some pipes, but the leak continued. Meanwhile, our bedroom was perpetually covered in flaking paint and PoP. Anyways, this wasn’t my apartment, so I was not too concerned.
Seepage Woes Part-2
In 2017, we bought and moved into our own apartment. We spent a lot of time, thought and effort in designing and decorating it as per our tastes. Once we moved in, to great horror, we started to notice dampness in 2 of the bedroom walls and on 2 of the bathroom ceilings.
One of the wall problems was relatively easy to repair. It was caused by a misaligned awning outside the wall which was trapping water. Fixing it fixed the problem. Within weeks, the wall was dry and I plastered and painted over it myself.
Horrible Seepage
Plastered
Painted
Easy to Fix
For the ceilings, we contacted the maintenance team who went to our upstairs neighbour. We would soon come to know that our upstairs neighbour (Henceforth referred to as Bihari Bastard) was the biggest un-co-operative piece of shit ever. At first he wouldn’t even allow the maintenance people to look inside his bathroom. After much coaxing and cajoling, when he did, he wouldn’t allow them to make repairs. After much requests/threats they allowed some repairs but it didn’t solve the problem.
Meanwhile, the paint continue to flake off the bedroom walls & plaster continue to fall from the bathroom ceilings. It was heartbreaking to see our new apartment in such a state. Eventually, I reached the end of my tether and offered Bihari Bastard to destroy and re-build his entire bathrooms for him. I would pay for the repair and building and he would pay for the new tiles. Bihari Bastard agreed.
I found a contractor and got 2 of his bathrooms destroyed and old pipes pulled out. The old pipes were in poor shape.
Destroyed washrooms
After that, the contractor put in new pipes
New Pipes
After this, the bathroom was re-built and tiles added. All through this process, Bihari Bastard continued complaining what a great source of inconvenience this was for him, completely ignoring the fact that repairing his bathrooms was not my job at all.
Eventually, the job was finished, my walls and ceilings were dry and we painted them over. We thought the process was finally over and heaved a sigh of relief.
Seepage Woes Part-3
We soon found out that our sense of relief was misplaced. One day our downstairs neighbour came up and complained about our bathrooms leaking water into his bedroom. This time we already knew what we had to do.
We called the same contractor and repeated the same process all over again. Tore open 2 of our bathrooms and re-built them from scratch. Eventually, the work was over and there was no more seepage “to” us or “from” us.
I thought our building was especially shitty, but later found out that all buildings (At least in the Delhi/NCR area) have this problem; even expensive/posh DLF ones. Turns out, the builders sub-contract the piping/water work to smaller contractors and not having any liability, they always do shitty jobs.
In Thailand, I see that the bathroom pipes are setup differently. All bathrooms have false ceilings and the pipes of the apartment above are easily accessible by removing panels. In India, all pipes are buried 3/4 feet deep in concrete and the only way to access them is to dig open the floors/walls.
I always advice potential buyers of new apartments to check 2 things:
Check very carefully (over a time of a few weeks) whether there’s any seepage in that apartment.
Go and meet the downstairs neighbour & enquire whether there’s any seepage in his flat from above.
Indian insecurity is legendary. We Indians are probably the most insecure group of people in the world. Be it our religion, our culture or our nationality, we are woefully insecure about everything. It doesn’t take much for an Indian to get butthurt. In fact it is quite possible that the derogatory term “snowflake” was coined for us.
A few examples of Indian Insecurity
Wearing a Saree decorated with flags of different countries (including our own) offends Indians.
Having a doormat with the Indian flag offends Indians. The same company selling doormats with flags of 50 other countries doesn’t offend any of those 50 countries.
Making a movie by the name of Billu Barber offends barbers. Making a movie by the name of Dhobi Ghat offends Dhobis. A song with the word Mochi offends cobblers. A movie about law offends lawyers.
These are just some examples of Indian insecurity that I remembered from the top of my head; there are countless such cases.
Overall it is embarrassing how easy it is to offend Indians and how insecure we are to get offended by little things. I am not sure where this insecurity comes from; this Quora answer looks legitimate to me.
This insecurity is something we Indians must overcome to focus on more important things.
As expected, 6 months into my stay at Bangkok, I already miss my home in India terribly. Part of this is because of the lockdown in Bangkok. Part of this is because I never really wanted to leave India and had to do so because I was unhappy with my job and this was the best option I had, then.
Although Bangkok has some of the best bars in the world, it is missing a microbrewery culture which was so popular in Gurgaon and Bengaluru. I miss drinking craft beer.
Living in my own house and doing what I want with it.
I miss Connaught Place, although, I hadn’t been there for many months even when I was in Gurgaon.
Miss Hotstar India. Hotstar Thailand doesn’t have as many shows, especially from HBO, FX etc.
Sorely miss Amazon. Lazada/Shopee are disgusting and I use them only because I am forced to.
I miss having the electrical switches the right side (For India) up.
I miss the few friends I have.
Miss the prevalence of online services like online doctor consultations, online medical test bookings & online booking of household services.
To say that I don’t like social networks is an understatement. I have used many social networks over the years and most have given me nothing but grief. In this post, I will lay down what exactly I hate about each social network.
I will start with WhatsApp, because this is the one I hate the most. I used it because it was the most convenient way to keep in touch with people. However, I had to delete my WhatsApp account in 2019 because:
Any person who had my mobile number could contact me without my permission.
Everyone could see whether I was online at any point of time.
There was no way to turn off read-receipts in group chats.
Anyone could add me to group chats without my permission. This is something my work people exploited to the fullest. I woke up to be part of a new group every morning.
Images and Videos were shamelessly compressed/resized.
Archived Group chats were automatically un-archived when there were new messages in the group. There was no way to completely ignore some groups without leaving them.
There was no way to get rid of the “Status” notification dot at the bottom.
People sending useless & unsolicited “Good Morning” and “Good Night” forwards.
People begging for things because they are too cheap to spend money
Retard!
Retarded photos & videos
More retard forwards
Beggars!
Useless and irritating WhatsApp chats
Facebook
This is my second most hated Social Network. I have used Facebook for many years but finally deleted my account in 2019. I tried again in 2021 but didn’t last more than a few weeks. The reason I cannot stand Facebook is because of the nature of posts from people, like:
Attention-seeking whores post irrelevant news that people already have from other news sources. Just for likes and comments.
Attention-seeking whores check-in to different airports to show-off to people that they are travelling by airplane.
Keyboard activism and “social justice”.
Attention-seeking whores posting photos of new things they have bought.
Parents making their kids perform tricks like circus monkeys for likes and comments.
Disgusting religious posts.
Posts insulting people belonging to other religions.
Posts cheering some sports team or sportspersons, as if they are reading these posts.
“Friends” wishing each other Happy Birthday with impersonal AI generated/templated birthday wishes.
People sucking up to the government/leaders.
People insulting the government/leaders.
Religious Propaganda
Religious Hatred
Anti-Sikh Comments
Kids being used for likes
So what? Who cares? You didn’t break this story, gandu
Retard who has left India years ago sucking up to Indian government
1 Retard showing off, another retard enabling him
Facebook Retards!
Every time I try to give Facebook a chance, I either get infuriated by any of the above posts or get drawn into arguments. Surprisingly, the only thing I liked about Facebook were the targeted ads. Normally, advertisements are irritating, but Facebook is so good at targeted ads that they are actually useful. Many times I have been looking for something specific to buy, just for Facebook to show a completely relevant ad in the app.
LinkedIn
LinkedIn is supposed to be a “professional” social network, but in reality it is no different from Facebook. People post all the same bullshit things here, that they do on Facebook. And here you cannot even react negatively to posts lest some potential employers see it and get turned off.
Professional?
Personal stories
Praying on LinkedIN
Professional!
Peddling Religion on LinkedIn
Peddling Religion on LinkedIn
LinkedIn Retards
On a related note, I have never had a job lead from LinkedIn nor have I seen anyone else get a job lead there when they needed it.
Twitter
I can tolerate Twitter as a news feed as long as I am anonymous & don’t follow people I know in real life.
Telegram
I can tolerate Telegram to chat with friends because unlike WhatsApp, I can have people not find me using my phone number. I have to give someone my User ID explicitly for them to be able to chat with me.
I have documented my struggles with mental health on this blog before. Considering the focus of the media on the mental health of famous people these days, I decided to write a longer rant about my own struggles.
During my college days I was a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. Although I did get depressed once in a while, I was never-ever worried about things. After college, while working a job I didn’t like, I also went through bouts of depression, but got over it quickly once I found a better job.
My second job was the best job, mentally, of my career. I had friends at work, I enjoyed what I was doing and I never even thought about work outside office. It was a shift-job where you could switch off completely after work.
It was in 2012 that I realized something was wrong. I suffered from IBS for almost 2 years. During this time I also turned lactose intolerant. I did read about the close connection between the gut and the brain, but I couldn’t figure out which affected which. After 2 years, I suddenly got better and didn’t think about it again.
Things started to go south again around 2016-17, when I wasn’t able to handle non-stresses from my work. I would lay awake at night thinking about trivial things from work, lost weight rapidly and couldn’t concentrate on non-work things. I tried things like meditation and mindfulness but nothing helped much. The mind just won’t stop racing and over-thinking.
This was the first time I decided to go see a shrink, at a hospital. I was hoping for a quick solution to all my troubles, but she prescribed me with very-expensive counselling sessions. The cost of the sessions made my issues worse, so I never went back. Thankfully, the shrink did give me a diagnosis, that of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Eventually, this phase also passed and I forgot all about it.
I switched jobs again in 2020 and this time anxiety came back to attack me with a vengeance. It was clear that this time it was worse than before. It was so bad that I couldn’t sleep for more than 3 hours for a week straight. Sleeping aids didn’t help either.
Eventually, I decided to go to another shrink. This one was in a busy market popular with people I knew. I was ashamed to go see him. This doctor also confirmed the diagnosis of GAD and decided to prescribe me medications immediately. Within a few days, I was feeling much better. Although anxiety never went away completely, it is now quite under control, thankfully, to this day.
What I do
I use the following techniques to keep my anxiety under control
Medication, which I am slowly weaning myself off of.
Exercise – Even a short run helps a lot. Even walking is better than nothing.
Listen to music I love everyday, without fail.
Writing (Blogging)
Whenever I have too many thoughts at night, I write them on a piece of paper before I go to bed. Next day I action all the items on that piece of paper and then tear it away. I found this strangely therapeutic.
Stay as far away from Social Networks as possible.
I know many people have found relief with mindfulness, but for me it tended to make things worse. Maybe I was not using the tool correctly.
The Rich
On the news, I repeatedly hear stories about the struggle of famous people with mental health, especially sportspersons. Although I am happy that they are raising more awareness for mental health, the impact of mental illnesses on them is much different than it is on regular people like us.
For them, quitting means an outpouring of support and being called “brave”. For people like me, quitting would mean being called a failure, losing my house and not being able to feed my family. So no, I don’t think these sportspersons are brave for quitting. They quit because they are filthy rich & can afford to.
Suchitra Iyer is a character from the Amazon Prime show The Family Man. I started watching the show last week. Although the show itself is decidedly brilliant, it’s this character that struck me most.
For those unfamiliar with the show, Suchitra Iyer, played by the brilliant actress Priyamani is the wife of protagonist Srikant Tiwari, played by the brilliant actor Manoj Bajpayee.
She is a college psychology teacher & a mother of 2 children. She starts off as a good wife, a devoted mother, but soon, little things about her start bothering the viewer.
She starts soft-flirting with her colleague Arvind & leaves her well-established college job to join a startup with him. They are exchanging messages late at night which themselves are harmless, but border on inappropriate. Soon, she takes things further by going on a soft-date with him at a cafe, then at a 5 star restaurant, eventually ending up at his home to tend for his sick daughter. Nothing inappropriate happens, but the viewer can easily notice the sexual tension between them. When Arvind invites her for a “bootcamp” at Lonavala, it is quite evident that something is going to happen.
It does, when they casually share the same hotel room, get dressed at the same time in the bathroom and eventually decide not to drive home at night and sleep over. By the time she messages Arvind (who’s on the couch) that she cannot sleep and then gets up to go to him (and presumably have sex), one cannot stop themselves from hating her. All the while their unattended daughter is almost drugged by a guy and their son almost shoots himself.
Sure, Srikant is a workaholic, doesn’t spend time with his family and provides a very middle-class existence. But the onus of hate is on Suchitra for cheating on him. Srikant get excellent opportunities to ball his boss (Gul Panang no less) but doesn’t even consider it.
The Skyler White Connection
All of the above makes me draw parallels between Suchitra’s character and the character of Skyler White from Breaking bad.
Both characters start off as devoted wives and mothers
They both lead a very middle class existence
Both are pleasantly buxom
Their husbands are considered failures by family and friends
They have no idea what their husbands really do on their jobs
Both eventually cheat on their husbands
Both become quite hate-worthy
At least Skyler had the decency to confess to her husband about her cheating unlike the cowardly Suchitra.
Surprisingly, its Suchitra’s character that I look forward to and enjoy (hating on) the most, in the show.
If you haven’t seen the show, I suggest you watch it, as it is brilliant.
Having stayed in North India for most of my life, I have noticed a peculiar phobia of North Indians. It is towards “outside food” or as they call it “Bahar ka khana”. I have also stayed in West, Central and East India & noticed this only in North India. Basically, most North Indians are extremely averse to eating restaurant food. Going out to eat or ordering food from outside is seen as a failure of the wife or mother in the family.
The first time I remember noticing this was when we had just moved to Chandigarh. We were invited to the home of one of my father’s colleagues for tea. When it was time to go, we excused ourselves by saying we have to go out for dinner to some restaurant. A look of disappointment dawned on their faces, immediately followed by a look of pity. They all looked at my mother and asked her why we “have to” eat out. We just told them that we always ate out on Sundays. They never respected my mother again, a useless wife/mother who won’t even cook for her family on weekends.
Over the years, I started noticing this phobia towards “outside food” more and more. When I would go out to eat with my friends, their parents would look down on me as if I am corrupting them. They would even ask me if “I didn’t get any food at home”. I also noticed that most of my friends never went out to eat with their families, even on special occasions.
I would notice this peculiarity even more when I went to Kolkata during my summer holidays. Everyone ate out all the time. Even my poorest relatives living in small towns went out to eat regularly. During major festivals, people there eat out all day and night. In North India, it just means that the wife/mother has to work extra hard to cook special food at home during festivals.
After my graduation, when I was working in Kolkata, me and my colleagues would order lunch everyday. No one brought food from home. When I moved back to Gurgaon, I noticed that almost everyone bought food from home. Mothers/wives are expected to wake up early every morning to cook lunch tiffins for their kids/husbands before they left for school/work, come rain or shine. When I ordered food, colleagues would be tempted to eat it, but would also be afraid to take their food back home uneaten. Sometimes they ate the “outside food” with me and then also had to finish their lunch.
During the lockdown, ordering food from outside though not illegal, was frowned upon. People always stared at me with disgust while I carried food from the society gate. Can his wife not cook?
In Bangkok, everyone goes out to eat during lunch, except some Indians (mostly North Indians). They all cook their own food in the morning and bring to work with them. During lunch, they go sit in the parking lot and eat that food as our office doesn’t have a designated place to have lunch.
I am not quite sure where all this stems from. Most people I have asked think restaurant food is unhygienic (sure, if you eat roadside food). Most just consider eating at home the normal thing to do and eating out an anomaly. Maybe some of it comes from the looming patriarchy in North Indian culture where a woman’s primary role is to cook and clean. Also, why spend money eating out?
On a positive note, in spite (or because of) all this, North Indians are some of the warmest people I have met who always invite you to sit with them and have a (home cooked, of course) meal. I do appreciate home cooked meals, but I also want a fancy meal at restaurants every now and then.