Eyesight Chronicles Part 1: Eyeglasses

I was diagnosed with Myopia when I was 2 years old and have been wearing eyeglasses since. Both my parents were Myopic, so the genetic gamble was never in my favour to begin with. I don’t remember how it was like, wearing glasses all the time as a 2 years old kid, but it couldn’t have been pleasant.

I wore glasses all through primary & secondary school. My mother used to be furious because I frequently broke my glasses in the playground. Funnily enough, my glasses broke most often during exams. Then it would be a mad rush between studying and ordering new glasses from the optometrist. I specifically remember enjoying visiting Tosh Opticals at Paschim Vihar. They had nice modern looking equipment and air-conditioning. I remember us waiting for them to make the glasses while mother quizzed me on the topics for the exam next day. Since we spent most of the day at the optometrist, she didn’t have time to cook. We ended up ordering food from somewhere, which I enjoyed.

Broken Eyeglasses
Not Mine, PC: Just for my boys

In the years that followed, I also dabbled with photochromic eyeglasses, rimless eyeglasses and gunmetal frames. That being said, at the end of the day, they were all eyeglasses and sucked balls.

During high school and college, I started realizing that the glasses were not doing my face any favours. I realized that I looked silly with them and started hating them more and more. Also, their weight would leave sores on the bridge of my nose where they rested. North-Indian bullies were not very friendly with glasses, either, calling me “chashmish” or “chamakkha”. I also realized that glasses provided inferior vision, as they didn’t correct the entire field of vision.

By second year of Engineering, I had made up my mind that I didn’t want to wear glasses anymore.

Seepage Woes

Seepage is when there’s a leak in a water supply or drain pipe in your home and the water gets into the walls. Seepage has given me much grief and anxiety over the years. Just last night I had a nightmare where I discovered seepage in my flat and woke up covered in sweat.

I lived in a house with a basement when I was young. One thing I remember vividly is that the basement was always damp and smelt funny. I assumed this was normal at that time.

Seepage Woes Part-1

I remember living in a rented apartment in 2015-2017. They had recently painted it and we were the first family to live in it. Within weeks, however, the bedroom wall became damp & the paint began to flake off. This would be the beginning of our long struggle with seepage. We informed our landlady who spoke with the building maintenance who fixed something on the outside drainage pipes, but nothing changed. We continue to press our landlord and she continue to hound the maintenance team but not much happened.

In the meantime, I discovered that seepage always comes in pairs. Our downstairs neighbour started to show up and complain about water leaking into his bedroom from our bathroom. Building maintenance broke our bathroom floor twice and repaired some pipes, but the leak continued. Meanwhile, our bedroom was perpetually covered in flaking paint and PoP. Anyways, this wasn’t my apartment, so I was not too concerned.

Seepage Woes Part-2

In 2017, we bought and moved into our own apartment. We spent a lot of time, thought and effort in designing and decorating it as per our tastes. Once we moved in, to great horror, we started to notice dampness in 2 of the bedroom walls and on 2 of the bathroom ceilings.

One of the wall problems was relatively easy to repair. It was caused by a misaligned awning outside the wall which was trapping water. Fixing it fixed the problem. Within weeks, the wall was dry and I plastered and painted over it myself.

For the ceilings, we contacted the maintenance team who went to our upstairs neighbour. We would soon come to know that our upstairs neighbour (Henceforth referred to as Bihari Bastard) was the biggest un-co-operative piece of shit ever. At first he wouldn’t even allow the maintenance people to look inside his bathroom. After much coaxing and cajoling, when he did, he wouldn’t allow them to make repairs. After much requests/threats they allowed some repairs but it didn’t solve the problem.

Meanwhile, the paint continue to flake off the bedroom walls & plaster continue to fall from the bathroom ceilings. It was heartbreaking to see our new apartment in such a state. Eventually, I reached the end of my tether and offered Bihari Bastard to destroy and re-build his entire bathrooms for him. I would pay for the repair and building and he would pay for the new tiles. Bihari Bastard agreed.

I found a contractor and got 2 of his bathrooms destroyed and old pipes pulled out. The old pipes were in poor shape.

After that, the contractor put in new pipes

After this, the bathroom was re-built and tiles added. All through this process, Bihari Bastard continued complaining what a great source of inconvenience this was for him, completely ignoring the fact that repairing his bathrooms was not my job at all.

Eventually, the job was finished, my walls and ceilings were dry and we painted them over. We thought the process was finally over and heaved a sigh of relief.

Seepage Woes Part-3

We soon found out that our sense of relief was misplaced. One day our downstairs neighbour came up and complained about our bathrooms leaking water into his bedroom. This time we already knew what we had to do.

We called the same contractor and repeated the same process all over again. Tore open 2 of our bathrooms and re-built them from scratch. Eventually, the work was over and there was no more seepage “to” us or “from” us.

I thought our building was especially shitty, but later found out that all buildings (At least in the Delhi/NCR area) have this problem; even expensive/posh DLF ones. Turns out, the builders sub-contract the piping/water work to smaller contractors and not having any liability, they always do shitty jobs.

In Thailand, I see that the bathroom pipes are setup differently. All bathrooms have false ceilings and the pipes of the apartment above are easily accessible by removing panels. In India, all pipes are buried 3/4 feet deep in concrete and the only way to access them is to dig open the floors/walls.

I always advice potential buyers of new apartments to check 2 things:

  1. Check very carefully (over a time of a few weeks) whether there’s any seepage in that apartment.
  2. Go and meet the downstairs neighbour & enquire whether there’s any seepage in his flat from above.

Indian Insecurity

Indian insecurity is legendary. We Indians are probably the most insecure group of people in the world. Be it our religion, our culture or our nationality, we are woefully insecure about everything. It doesn’t take much for an Indian to get butthurt. In fact it is quite possible that the derogatory term “snowflake” was coined for us.

A few examples of Indian Insecurity

  1. Wearing a Saree decorated with flags of different countries (including our own) offends Indians.
  2. Having a doormat with the Indian flag offends Indians. The same company selling doormats with flags of 50 other countries doesn’t offend any of those 50 countries.
  3. A woman smoking offends Indian men.
  4. Banning fireworks on Diwali in the most polluted place in the world offends Hindus.
  5. Not being familiar with Sachin Tendulkar offends Indians.
  6. Making a movie by the name of Billu Barber offends barbers. Making a movie by the name of Dhobi Ghat offends Dhobis. A song with the word Mochi offends cobblers. A movie about law offends lawyers.
  7. Condom ads offend Indians.
  8. Criticising stupid & intrusive religious practices offends Indian Muslims.
  9. Characters using abusive language in movies offends Indians. Using the same language in real life is acceptable.
  10. People belonging to minority religions using Hindu gods in advertisements offends Hindus.
  11. Britishers sharing photos of Hindu gods on Social Media offends Hindus.
  12. A Hindu actress shooting an intimate movie scene with a Muslim actor faces calls for boycott.
  13. Not respecting poorly presented meals offends Indians.
  14. What some people name their kids offends Indians.
  15. Any map showing the reality in Kashmir offends Indians.
  16. Criticising the government or your politicians offends every Indian who voted for them and results in sedition cases.
  17. Some of the few people who visit this blog will be offended by this post.
Indian insecurity about a Saree
Offensive Saree, PC: Maharashtra Times

These are just some examples of Indian insecurity that I remembered from the top of my head; there are countless such cases.

Overall it is embarrassing how easy it is to offend Indians and how insecure we are to get offended by little things. I am not sure where this insecurity comes from; this Quora answer looks legitimate to me.

This insecurity is something we Indians must overcome to focus on more important things.

I miss Home

As expected, 6 months into my stay at Bangkok, I already miss my home in India terribly. Part of this is because of the lockdown in Bangkok. Part of this is because I never really wanted to leave India and had to do so because I was unhappy with my job and this was the best option I had, then.

What I Miss about Home

  1. Although Thailand has some of the biggest malls in the world, I miss my Ambience Mall. I miss looking forward to weekends to go to Ambience Mall.
  2. Although Bangkok has some of the best restaurants in the world, I miss dining at Pizza Express, Daryaganj, Chili’s, Mamagoto, Sodabottleopenerwaala and Burma Burma.
  3. I miss going to Cyber Hub on the weekends.
  4. Although Bangkok has some of the best bars in the world, it is missing a microbrewery culture which was so popular in Gurgaon and Bengaluru. I miss drinking craft beer.
  5. Living in my own house and doing what I want with it.
  6. I miss Connaught Place, although, I hadn’t been there for many months even when I was in Gurgaon.
  7. Miss Hotstar India. Hotstar Thailand doesn’t have as many shows, especially from HBO, FX etc.
  8. Sorely miss Amazon. Lazada/Shopee are disgusting and I use them only because I am forced to.
  9. I miss having the electrical switches the right side (For India) up.
  10. I miss the few friends I have.
  11. Miss the prevalence of online services like online doctor consultations, online medical test bookings & online booking of household services.
  12. I miss driving my own car.
  13. Lastly, I miss a sense of belonging.

What I don’t miss

  1. The horrible air quality most days of the year.
  2. The unnecessary and tiring bureaucracy in every aspect of life.
  3. The forced religious indoctrination in everyday life.
  4. The lack of respect for animals and even pets.
  5. The high cost of fuel, electricity and cooking gas.
  6. The high cost of food at restaurants.
  7. The filth omnipresent everywhere.
  8. The utter disregard of Indians towards their country and their countrymen/women.

Social Networks & I

To say that I don’t like social networks is an understatement. I have used many social networks over the years and most have given me nothing but grief. In this post, I will lay down what exactly I hate about each social network.

WhatsApp

I will start with WhatsApp, because this is the one I hate the most. I used it because it was the most convenient way to keep in touch with people. However, I had to delete my WhatsApp account in 2019 because:

  1. Any person who had my mobile number could contact me without my permission.
  2. Everyone could see whether I was online at any point of time.
  3. There was no way to turn off read-receipts in group chats.
  4. Anyone could add me to group chats without my permission. This is something my work people exploited to the fullest. I woke up to be part of a new group every morning.
  5. Images and Videos were shamelessly compressed/resized.
  6. Archived Group chats were automatically un-archived when there were new messages in the group. There was no way to completely ignore some groups without leaving them.
  7. There was no way to get rid of the “Status” notification dot at the bottom.
  8. People sending useless & unsolicited “Good Morning” and “Good Night” forwards.
  9. People begging for things because they are too cheap to spend money

Facebook

This is my second most hated Social Network. I have used Facebook for many years but finally deleted my account in 2019. I tried again in 2021 but didn’t last more than a few weeks. The reason I cannot stand Facebook is because of the nature of posts from people, like:

  1. Attention-seeking whores post irrelevant news that people already have from other news sources. Just for likes and comments.
  2. Attention-seeking whores check-in to different airports to show-off to people that they are travelling by airplane.
  3. Keyboard activism and “social justice”.
  4. Attention-seeking whores posting photos of new things they have bought.
  5. Parents making their kids perform tricks like circus monkeys for likes and comments.
  6. Disgusting religious posts.
  7. Posts insulting people belonging to other religions.
  8. Posts cheering some sports team or sportspersons, as if they are reading these posts.
  9. “Friends” wishing each other Happy Birthday with impersonal AI generated/templated birthday wishes.
  10. People sucking up to the government/leaders.
  11. People insulting the government/leaders.

Every time I try to give Facebook a chance, I either get infuriated by any of the above posts or get drawn into arguments. Surprisingly, the only thing I liked about Facebook were the targeted ads. Normally, advertisements are irritating, but Facebook is so good at targeted ads that they are actually useful. Many times I have been looking for something specific to buy, just for Facebook to show a completely relevant ad in the app.

LinkedIn

LinkedIn is supposed to be a “professional” social network, but in reality it is no different from Facebook. People post all the same bullshit things here, that they do on Facebook. And here you cannot even react negatively to posts lest some potential employers see it and get turned off.

On a related note, I have never had a job lead from LinkedIn nor have I seen anyone else get a job lead there when they needed it.

Twitter

I can tolerate Twitter as a news feed as long as I am anonymous & don’t follow people I know in real life.

Telegram

I can tolerate Telegram to chat with friends because unlike WhatsApp, I can have people not find me using my phone number. I have to give someone my User ID explicitly for them to be able to chat with me.

Keeping away from social networks as much as possible is one of the keys for me to maintain my mental peace and sanity.

Mixed Feelings about the Apple Watch

I have been using an Apple Watch for a few years now. I got my first Apple Watch (Series 4, aluminium) in 2018 but gave it to the wife after using it for a few months because of the abysmal battery life & I didn’t like how it looked. Got one again in 2020 (Series 4, Stainless Steel) and have mixed feelings about it

Apple watch with Blue braided solo loop, PC: iPhone in Canada

What I like about the Apple Watch

  1. The integration with the rest of apple’s ecosystem is amazing. Everything “just works”. Setup and use are both pain free, like every Apple product.
  2. The cellular functionality is awesome. I leave my phone at home when walking the dog or going for a run. Can take/receive calls if needed and stream music. It is also impressive how so many carriers support it.
  3. The “Activity” app and the concept of closing the 3 rings is very good. Much better than tracking steps only.
  4. Walkie-Talkie is a fun & useful feature. I use it with the wife’s watch very often. The related feature of “intercom” to send messages home is also useful.
  5. Apps are very useful. Some apps even have full functional parity with their phone counterparts, although I don’t use many apps on the watch.
  6. Heart Rate tracking is one of the best in the business. Once I even got alerted when I was high and my heart-rate went up while I was still.
  7. The glass (on the stainless steel version) is very durable. Not a single scratch in a year.
  8. The Solo braided loops are the most comfortable & convenient watch straps I have ever used.
  9. Amazing obsolescence. Apart from new sensors, you would be hard pressed to find a difference between different generations of watches. Each generation gets OS updates for at least 3/4 years.
High Heart Rate at Rest
High Heart Rate at Rest

What I don’t like about it

  1. The battery life is abysmal. I can’t even go away for a night without worrying about the watch dying. Once I even had to charge it between 2 connecting flights.
  2. I don’t like how it looks. To me, it looks quite like a burn blister on the skin. I much preferred the Withings smart watches in this regard. They were just beautiful.
  3. Every new app installed on the phone gets notifications enabled by default on the watch. Can sometimes be annoying.

My watch is now almost 3 generations old already and I plan to get the 2021 model when it is out. If nothing else, I hope it has a better battery life than the current ones.

A Note on Mental Health

I have documented my struggles with mental health on this blog before. Considering the focus of the media on the mental health of famous people these days, I decided to write a longer rant about my own struggles.

During my college days I was a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. Although I did get depressed once in a while, I was never-ever worried about things. After college, while working a job I didn’t like, I also went through bouts of depression, but got over it quickly once I found a better job.

My second job was the best job, mentally, of my career. I had friends at work, I enjoyed what I was doing and I never even thought about work outside office. It was a shift-job where you could switch off completely after work.

It was in 2012 that I realized something was wrong. I suffered from IBS for almost 2 years. During this time I also turned lactose intolerant. I did read about the close connection between the gut and the brain, but I couldn’t figure out which affected which. After 2 years, I suddenly got better and didn’t think about it again.

Things started to go south again around 2016-17, when I wasn’t able to handle non-stresses from my work. I would lay awake at night thinking about trivial things from work, lost weight rapidly and couldn’t concentrate on non-work things. I tried things like meditation and mindfulness but nothing helped much. The mind just won’t stop racing and over-thinking.

This was the first time I decided to go see a shrink, at a hospital. I was hoping for a quick solution to all my troubles, but she prescribed me with very-expensive counselling sessions. The cost of the sessions made my issues worse, so I never went back. Thankfully, the shrink did give me a diagnosis, that of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Eventually, this phase also passed and I forgot all about it.

I switched jobs again in 2020 and this time anxiety came back to attack me with a vengeance. It was clear that this time it was worse than before. It was so bad that I couldn’t sleep for more than 3 hours for a week straight. Sleeping aids didn’t help either.

Eventually, I decided to go to another shrink. This one was in a busy market popular with people I knew. I was ashamed to go see him. This doctor also confirmed the diagnosis of GAD and decided to prescribe me medications immediately. Within a few days, I was feeling much better. Although anxiety never went away completely, it is now quite under control, thankfully, to this day.

What I do

I use the following techniques to keep my anxiety under control

  1. Medication, which I am slowly weaning myself off of.
  2. Exercise – Even a short run helps a lot. Even walking is better than nothing.
  3. Listen to music I love everyday, without fail.
  4. Writing (Blogging)
  5. Whenever I have too many thoughts at night, I write them on a piece of paper before I go to bed. Next day I action all the items on that piece of paper and then tear it away. I found this strangely therapeutic.
  6. Stay as far away from Social Networks as possible.

I know many people have found relief with mindfulness, but for me it tended to make things worse. Maybe I was not using the tool correctly.

The Rich

On the news, I repeatedly hear stories about the struggle of famous people with mental health, especially sportspersons. Although I am happy that they are raising more awareness for mental health, the impact of mental illnesses on them is much different than it is on regular people like us.

For them, quitting means an outpouring of support and being called “brave”. For people like me, quitting would mean being called a failure, losing my house and not being able to feed my family. So no, I don’t think these sportspersons are brave for quitting. They quit because they are filthy rich & can afford to.

Not everyone can.

My Favourite TV shows

Below is a list of my top-25 favourite TV shows of all time, in descending order:

  1. Seinfeld (NBC)
  2. Sacred Games (Netflix)
  3. Better Call Saul (AMC, Netflix)
  4. Californication (Showtime)
  5. Better Things (FX, Disney+Hotstar)
  6. Breaking Bad (AMC, Netflix)
  7. The Family Man (Amazon Prime Video)
  8. Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO, Disney+Hotstar)
  9. Louie (FX, Disney+Hotstar)
  10. Young Sheldon (CBS, Amazon Prime Video)
  11. Silicon Valley (HBO, Disney+Hotstar)
  12. The Wire (HBO, Disney+Hotstar)
  13. Mirzapur (Amazon Prime Video)
  14. The Mandalorian (Disney+Hotstar)
  15. Michael Palin’s New Europe (BBC One)
  16. The Office (India) (Disney+Hotstar)
  17. Raja, Rasoi Aur Anya Kahaniya (Epic Channel)
  18. Servant (Apple TV+)
  19. Waterfront Cities of the World (Knowledge Network)
  20. Goliath (Amazon Prime Video)
  21. The Last Man on Earth (Fox)
  22. Black Mirror (Netflix)
  23. Derry Girls (Channel 4, Netflix)
  24. Mad Men (AMC)
  25. Amazing Stories (Apple TV+)

PS: I use trakt to track my TV show viewings.

Suchitra Iyer is the Indian Skyler White

Suchitra Iyer is a character from the Amazon Prime show The Family Man. I started watching the show last week. Although the show itself is decidedly brilliant, it’s this character that struck me most.

For those unfamiliar with the show, Suchitra Iyer, played by the brilliant actress Priyamani is the wife of protagonist Srikant Tiwari, played by the brilliant actor Manoj Bajpayee.

She is a college psychology teacher & a mother of 2 children. She starts off as a good wife, a devoted mother, but soon, little things about her start bothering the viewer.

Priyamani as Suchitra Iyer
Priyamani as Suchitra Iyer, PC:News18

She starts soft-flirting with her colleague Arvind & leaves her well-established college job to join a startup with him. They are exchanging messages late at night which themselves are harmless, but border on inappropriate. Soon, she takes things further by going on a soft-date with him at a cafe, then at a 5 star restaurant, eventually ending up at his home to tend for his sick daughter. Nothing inappropriate happens, but the viewer can easily notice the sexual tension between them. When Arvind invites her for a “bootcamp” at Lonavala, it is quite evident that something is going to happen.

It does, when they casually share the same hotel room, get dressed at the same time in the bathroom and eventually decide not to drive home at night and sleep over. By the time she messages Arvind (who’s on the couch) that she cannot sleep and then gets up to go to him (and presumably have sex), one cannot stop themselves from hating her. All the while their unattended daughter is almost drugged by a guy and their son almost shoots himself.

Sure, Srikant is a workaholic, doesn’t spend time with his family and provides a very middle-class existence. But the onus of hate is on Suchitra for cheating on him. Srikant get excellent opportunities to ball his boss (Gul Panang no less) but doesn’t even consider it.

The Skyler White Connection

All of the above makes me draw parallels between Suchitra’s character and the character of Skyler White from Breaking bad.

  1. Both characters start off as devoted wives and mothers
  2. They both lead a very middle class existence
  3. Both are pleasantly buxom
  4. Their husbands are considered failures by family and friends
  5. They have no idea what their husbands really do on their jobs
  6. Both eventually cheat on their husbands
  7. Both become quite hate-worthy

At least Skyler had the decency to confess to her husband about her cheating unlike the cowardly Suchitra.

Surprisingly, its Suchitra’s character that I look forward to and enjoy (hating on) the most, in the show.

If you haven’t seen the show, I suggest you watch it, as it is brilliant.

Road trip

I sold my last motorcycle back in 2015 & since then have not experienced a motorcycle road trip. A few weeks ago, I bought a new(ish) motorcycle from a departing Expat. Its the Stallions Centaur CT400 with a 400cc single cylinder 4 valve engine. I have ridden it many times since then, but only local short commutes. It goes without saying, the feeling of wanderlust has been building up inside me since.

Today morning, I went about my usual schedule and even started my office work. After taking stock of my work, I realized I had nothing too urgent to finish today. I decided to take the day off and head out to the highway on the motorcycle.

I settled on Ko Lan, an island around 160km away. To get there, you need to ride till Bali Hai Pier at Pattaya and then take a ferry to the island. I hastily collected a few things, put on Pink Floyd’s Pulse and headed out on the highway. Unfortunately, I soon discovered that the fastest highway to Pattaya doesn’t allow motorcycles on it. Fortunately, the other highway which does allow Motorcycles was also more suitable for Motorcycle rides. Highway 3 is a winding 4-6 lane road which hugs the coast and passes near many beaches.

Motorcycle Road Trip
Highway 3

After escaping the mad traffic of Bangkok, I was finally able to open up the throttle on the highway. The motorcycle performs very well on the highway, cruising easily between 100-120kmph without too many vibrations (For a single cylinder engine). There’s ample reserve power for going faster for overtaking, too. I was able to reach Pattaya in 2.5 hours.

Deserted Bali Hai Pier

I was quickly disappointed to find the pier deserted and learnt that boats to Ko Lan were stopped because of the pandemic. Dejected, I decided to explore Pattaya instead and headed to Pattaya Beach. Thankfully, Chonburi province allows dine-in and I was able to have lunch at the beach.

After getting my feet wet in the water and relaxing for sometime, I headed back to Bangkok. I wanted to stay and watch the sunset but the constant attempts by she-pimps to persuade me to get a “massage” got on my nerves. My phone ran out of battery on the way back, and I lost my way twice on the outskirts of Bangkok but eventually reached home.

After going on a motorcycle road trip after so many years, I feel exhilarated. Needless to say, there will be many more road trips in the months to come.