Adventure, Music

Saturday..

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Had a very eventful Saturday. Woke up late as usual around 2 PM. Picked up goru and went to meet ARC to CP in the evening. Went to a pub called blues in the outer circle. A guy was singing love duets with some girl strumming a guitar and playing the rest of the instruments through fruity loops or saw on his laptop. No one was least interested in him until he played some GnR song and Goru sang with him in his usual Axel Rose-ish way. The crowd started cheering and girls whistling. After 3 beers each, when people started calling Goru a rock-star, we felt the insult and left, delhi being a place where people also call himesh a rock star..

We tried buying tickets for Quantum of Solace, but couldn’t find any tickets and drunk as we were, we decided to watch Deshdrohi. After grabbing a bite at Mac Donalds, we went into the hall. There was a psycho foreign woman there who was pushing us for no reason at all, away from her seat. Goru called her a racist and offered her coke on which she gave a shocked expression and went away.

The movie started with a scene of KRK getting beaten up by goons and Gracy Singh coming to his rescue. Scene after scene, we get to see the 5 feet tall KRK (wearing high heels of 6 inches and still looking shorter than Gracy) getting discriminated against and getting beaten up by various marathi manoos. All the dialogues, he delivers with passion and tears brimming in his eyes. When he can take it no more, he transforms into a balls squashing screaming superhero and starts killing people. We couldn’t take it any more after the interval and left. After wandering around for sometime, we decided to go inside again and watch the rest of the movie. The usher said that’s not possible and drove us out of the theater. That was the limit of insult.. Us not being allowed to watch Deshdrohi.. How desperate can one be? We burst out laughing at this and left.

On our way to a Cafe Coffee Day outlet, we saw a Sports Bar with a sign outside it announcing that Bobby Cash was playing there. We went inside and ordered more beer and felt pity at watching the guy who was once in Australian Top 10 charts playing at a Connaught Place bar. The guy played amazing. He was playing the 6th string as a bass roll with his thumb, playing lead with his little finger and strumming chords with the rest all at once. It was amazing!! It was like 3 people playing three different guitars. After sometime when we ran out of cash for more beer, we left and sat at ccd where we devoured chocolate fantasy and cafe mocha.

On the way back, with my knuckles and fingers freezing with cold, as I was about to overtake a parked car from the left, he suddenly started moving left without any indicator and I slammed into him at a speed of 80kmph. Thankfully we weren’t thrown off and we didnt fall down. But somehow my leg touched the engine/silencer and got burnt at some places. Inspecting the damage revealed a bent leg-guard and brake pedal which got straightened with some persuasion. Went home, listened to some good music and will sleep in sometime.

I have realized something that whatever pub, bar I go to, nothing can match Wednesday and Friday nights at someplace else.. The feeling is incomparable.

Rant

Amazing Advertisement – Durex

8 Comments

I saw this amazing ad of an apple flavored condom in the newspaper today and thought I just had to put it up here. I applaud the people who thought of the captions. Click on the image to see a bigger version.

“Your turn to seduce her with the forbidden fruit” Ha Ha..
“Next time she’s hungry for love, offer her a heavenly temptation.”

This is creativity at it’s best. Excellent Job!!

Rant

How to gain weight rapidly

6 Comments

I am writing this from my personal experience over the past 2 months or so. The easiest way to gain weight is to go to gym for a few days and then stop going for a week or so. Go again for a few days and then stop going for a week. I don;t know why this happens, I just start eating like crazy after I go to the gym and the effect remains for a few days even after I have stopped working out. The weight gain is at all the wrong places and of the wrong sort so beware. He He.

Movies

Deshdrohi.. (The one who betrays his own country)

9 Comments

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This is a goofy trailer of a movie doing the rounds on Tv these days. The name of the movie is “Deshdrohi”. It’s based on the atrocities committed by Raj Thakrey’s goons against “North Indians” namely biharis. The guy is shown to be threatened by a police inspector on the phone and called a bhikhari(beggar). To which he replies “Hey Inspector.. Mera naam rajkumar singh yadav hai.. aur yadav sirf raaja hota hai.. bhikhari kabhi nahi banta..” (Hey inspector, my name is rajkumar singh yadav. and a yadav is always a king, never becomes a beggar). He is also shown to be beaten by marathi manoos after which he starts fighting for his rights and kills manoos either by punching them in the groin or the face by the dozen. He even shoots policemen armed with sticks without remorse. Meanwhile he also finds the time to romance a girl, sing love songs with her but finally meets with an obviously very painful end alone in the dark streets.

I wonder who agreed to produce this movie and why. Maybe they thought it would be a big hit in Bihar and the bihari rickshaw wallas kicked out from maharashtra can compensate for what was done to them by watching this.

The actor Kamaal R Khan looks like an asshole and every serious dialogue he throws at his enemies with passion just causes us to laugh at him. His hairstyle is a throwback to the 50s and the emotions and expressions essayed by him are really over the top. If you are a tormented bihari kicked out from the state of maharashtra, then seriously go and watch this movie.

Music

Hotel Kerala-phonia

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This is an excellent parody-cover of the legendary Eagles song. Too bad only Indians would be able to understand the humour in this.

 

On the road to Trivandrum
Coconut oil in my hair
Warm smell of avial
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a bright pink tube-light

My tummy rumbled, I felt weak and thin
I had to stop for a bite
There he stood in the doorway
Flicked his mundu in style
And I was thinking to myself
I don’t like the look of his sinister smile
Then he lit up a petromax
Muttering “No power today”
More Mallus down the corridor
I thought I heard them say
Welcome to the Hotel Kerala-fonia

Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace,
Plenty of bugs at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Any time of year
Any time of year (background)
It’s infested here
It’s infested here
His finger’s stuck up his nostril
He’s got a big, thick mustache
He makes an ugly, ugly noise
But that’s just his laugh

Buxom girls clad in pavada
Eating banana chips
Some roll their eyes, and
Some roll their hips
I said to the manager
My room’s full of mice
He said,
Don’t worry, saar,I sending you
meen karri, brandy and ice
And still those voices were crying from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them pray

Save us from the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace
Trying to live at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
It is no surprise
It is no surprise (background)
That it swarms with flies

The blind man was pouring
Stale sambar on rice
And he said
We are all just actors here
In Silk Smitha-disguise
And in the dining chamber
We gathered for the feast
We stab it with our steely knives
But we just can’t cut that beef
Last thing I remember
I was writhing on the floor
That cockroach in my appam-stew was the culprit,
I am sure
Relax, said the watchman
This enema will make you well
And his friends laughed as they held me down
God’s Own Country? Oh, Hell!

© The Yeagles

Rant

Finance

4 Comments

Earlier today I saw this guy driving this car with this goofy message printed on the back. Click on the photo to see a bigger version.

Now I wonder of being an atheist was such a good idea after all. I could sure use a car in this heat. 😀

Movies

One of the worst movies of all time – Hari Puttar

4 Comments

All the honest pleas of the makers of this movie that it has no resemblence to the Harry Potter series is very true. Only because the whole script has been stolen from the Home Alone series. Not only the script, all the scenes are almost exactly the same. Only, this movie is much much worse and the budget must have been horrendously low. The actors and actresses are horrible and the cross-eyed kid cannot compare to Macaulay Culkin. This movie ruined my entire weekend mood so much that I had to roam about on the streets for about an hour after the movie at night before I could be normal again. But this movie is not totally copied from the Home Alone series. It even has some scenes stolen from Kung Fu Hustle. I can even go as far as to say that it was worse than Home Alone 4 which was a shit movie indeed. The only thing good about this movie was that it got over in 90 minutes, including the interval. I cannot write more about it, I feel sick

Rant, Technology

Electric Car – A farce

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The electric car is one of the biggest objects of farce in today’s age. People keep on crying about how electric cars run on electricity and not by burning hydrocarbons and hence they are less polluting and “environment friendly” Ha. Ha. Looks like the people who say this have never believed in anything written outside text books and tabloids or understood a few simple concepts of physics.

Let’s take for example a regular petrol/diesel powered car. The efficiency of a stock normal compression petrol engine is around 30% and that of a diesel engine is 45%. That means 45% of the energy obtained from burning fuel is actually converted into mechanical energy to move a car and this includes mechanical loss and heat loss. For high performance cars, the figure may be up to 50%.

Now let’s take the “environment friendly” electric car. An electric car motor has an efficiency of around 90%!! Wow!! Isn’t that amazing?? And also so pollution free! Not quite so! Where does the electricity used to charge the car come from? From power plants. What do these power plants run from? In India, 87% power is produced by burning coal. The efficiency of a typical Indian power plant is around 23%(US=33%) which means a loss of 77%. Add to that transmission losses of around 15%(US=9%). Battery charging efficiency is at the best 70% which means a loss of 30%. This brings the total efficiency of an electric car down to 19% starting from the first fuel. And this is using coal, which is much much more polluting than petrol or diesel. I’m not even taking into account the fact that half the weight of an electric car is the batteries which is a waste of the mechanical energy. Also, each megawatt of power utilised more in the cities means 1 less hour of electricity per day in the villages. And the villages i’m talking about get only a few hours of electricity per day as it is.

Let’s look at the total efficiency figures of a diesel and electric car

Diesel—–Diesel Engine 55% loss——> Mechanical Energy = 45% Efficiency

Coal/Diesel—-Turbine power plant 77% loss—>Transmission 15% loss—>Battery charging 30% loss—->Electric Motor loss 10%—->Mechanical Energy = 19% efficiency

Modern diesel and petrol engines are almost pollution free and you also get performance and practicality. Would you want to go on a road trip and stop for a charge every 100km or so and even then crawl along at speeds not more than 80kmph. And for all this you shell out 4 times as more than you would for an Internal Combustion car and also have people laugh at you.

Unless more efficient and pollution free power generation is adopted, the electric car is clearly impractical and in fact more polluting than a normal car. The only difference is that a normal car pollutes the urban section and the electric car pollutes the suburbs and the rural. The blame of pollution is just passing from your conscience to the government.

Rant

Alcohol blues

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I really envy those people who, after having enormous quantities of alcohol just pass out and then sleep for hours without any care in the world. I, myself am not so lucky. Each time I have a lot of alcohol, especially a cocktail of different types, after a disturbed sleep of a few hours, I wake up with a headache and a hunger unable to sleep anymore however hard I try. The few hours of sleep I get are full of bad dreams(my bike being stolen, my bike’s engine seizing, my guitar dying) and I’m tossing and turning most of the time. I have tried everything, anti hangover pills, eating a lot, eating a lot of rice, saturating myself with water, sucking lemons(though I like doing that anyways) nothing seems to help. The whole day after that, I feel tired and exhausted and i yawn all the time. I’ve learnt with experience that during such times, instead of trying to sleep, I should just wake up and do stuff and sleep later. Today’s one of those days. My eyes are hurting, my stomach is hurting with hunger and my head is hurting. There’s nothing to eat at home and I’m too lazy to go out. I guess I’ll just read my book.

Rant

I’m not a misognyst

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Contrary to what people accuse me of, I’m not a misognyst. I don’t hate women at all. People seem to think this way because they may have seen me abuse them as I abuse others. But that is only because I firmly believe in the equality of men and women. If I can abuse my male friends without them feeling bad about it, why can’t I abuse their female counterparts in exactly the same way? Also, I don’t look down on women at all! I just believe that men are better at some things (driving, troubleshooting, staying calm under tense situations) while women are better than men in other stuff(playing mind games, mind control, making people feel bad about themselves). How can anyone accuse me of such foolish things?