Tag Archives: New Year

New Year’s Resolutions – A Status Report

This is a status report on the resolutions I made. Let’s see how I did with my New Year’s Resolutions last year:

Successes

  1. I was able to lower my time on Social Networks – Deleted my Quora & Reddit accounts. Was able to lower my screen time somewhat.
  2. I was able to restart my donations after a break of few years.
  3. I was able to go bald for good.
  4. I took much fewer sick leaves this year. Almost all genuine.
  5. I have been FaceTiming my parents daily.
  6. I have been able to mostly maintain a healthy reading habit.
  7. I was able to close all 3 rings on my watch for 301 days straight, before Influenza derailed my efforts. Still, was able to close them at least 3 days a week. I even did my first 10k run.

Partial Successes

  1. I cut down on my Anxiety medication somewhat. There were some rough patches, but I am taking less medication now, than I was, at the beginning of the year.
  2. I was able to listen to music more. But I wasn’t able to get into new music, even when recommended by friends.
  3. I was able to cut some toxic people out of my life. Need to do more next year
  4. I was able to cut back on my alcohol consumption somewhat.

Failures

  1. Epic Fail – I did so well about not wasting money till August, then ate shit. I bought an iPad Air in August. By December, I started hating it and bought an iPad Pro 11″. In a couple of weeks, I started hating it, too and bought an iPad Pro 12.9″. Basically, exact opposite of what happened here and here.
  2. I wasted somewhat less money this year compared to before. For the first time in many years, I was even able to save some money.

Overall, I am quite happy with my progress last year. This year I am not making any new resolutions, would rather make sure I complete the ones I already made last year.

New Year’s Resolutions

I am not one for New Year’s resolutions. Never made them. However, recently I have been quite unhappy with how some aspects of my life have been going. So I decided to make some changes. And now seems like a good time to start as any. So here are my New Year’s Resolutions for 2023. Nothing too ambitious

  1. I will try my best to cut down on my Anxiety medication. No set targets, no time bindings, will just do my best without being miserable and see how it goes.
  2. I will stop wasting money this year. I will spend money as much as I want, within my means, but will stop wasting like here and here. I have made a comprehensive list of the mistakes and lessons learnt from last year. I will also try to start saving some money. No set goals.
  3. I will not consume alcohol except when the occasion calls for it. Not mindlessly when I am getting bored and have nothing else to do.
  4. I will listen to music more. Will give new music a chance.
  5. I will shave my head for good once I get a SIM card replacement and spend 0 effort or money on my hair. Finished.
  6. I will take less sick leaves.
  7. I will be more grateful for what I have in life.
  8. I will cut toxic people out of my life.
  9. I will start reading books again. Again, no set target. Will read as much as I enjoy.
  10. I will lower my time on Social Networks – especially Quora and Reddit. Will replace the time mindlessly scrolling these apps with book reading. Will lower my screen time.
  11. I will close the rings on my watch at least 6 days a week. Will run at least 4 days a week.
  12. I will call my parents, especially my father more.

Let’s see how many I can actually go through with.

Anxiety Medication Withdrawal Fail-3

Continuing my series about my battle with anxiety, this is a new year special. My latest medication withdrawal fail and third in a year.

So I planned a vacation to Hua Hin for new years. I am anyways not completely at ease while travelling, but this time I topped it by forgetting to take my medication with me. Epic fail! when I realized this, I considered scouring the local pharmacies, begging for prescription medication like a junkie. But since it was only 2 days, I decided to swallow the pill.

Night 1/Day 1

I had a decent amount of alcohol to numb me down and delayed my sleep as much as possible. Once I was really sleepy, I went to sleep. Luckily I fell asleep relatively easy. However, I woke up after a few hours drenched in sweat with my heart trying to escape my chest. I tried going back to sleep but the rest of the night I was in an out of sleep. While being acutely aware of my heartbeat.

Woke up the next day tired. The day was better than the night but was jittery throughout. Sometime during late morning, my hands started shaking. After having some Coca Cola and chilling at the beach, I felt much better. By evening I was almost normal.

At night we went to a New Years Eve party on the beach and I consumed alcohol to distract myself from the impending time I have to go to sleep.

Night 2/Day 2

I went to sleep at 11. Luckily, I fell asleep without much issues, but the fireworks at midnight woke me up. I spent the first few hours of 2023 tossing and turning in bed. I was tired and I was sleepy. But I just couldn’t fall asleep. It was like a brick wall. Eventually I fell asleep but most of the night I was in and out of sleep.

Next morning I woke up tired but otherwise OK. Drove back home and went for a run to clear my head as soon as I came back. Feet felt like bricks while running. Resisted the temptation to pounce on my medication immediately.

In the evening, I figured that I am likely already past the worst phase of the withdrawal so why even go back on my earlier full dose? I had half a dose (0.5mg, compared to 1mg original dose) and went to sleep very tired.

Sleep Changes

One thing I noticed is that my sleep had turned very light, especially in the second half of the night. I was able to fall asleep and sleep well for the first few hours, but for the second half, I was in a strange state. It felt as if I am awake, but I am not because time passes too fast. But I have awareness of things around me, daylight etc. I was miserable, but decided to stick to it to avoid another medication withdrawal fail.

Nights 3/4/5

Nights 3/4/5 went equally poorly. I could only sleep for the first few hours each night and woke up mid-way and failed to go back to proper sleep again.

The days also started seeming gloomier and sadder in general. I even gave up alcohol temporarily.

On day 6, I decided to chalk this up as a medication withdrawal fail and upped my dose to 0.75mg, which is still lower than 1mg, my original dose. With 0.75mg, I am doing more or less okay, something I can live with.

Overall, not a complete withdrawal fail, as I was able to reduce my dosage, by a bit. Baby steps, baby steps.