Category Archives: Rant

Health & Fitness, Rant

How to beat a Hangover

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Tonight’s party can be tomorrow’s nightmare. While heavy consumption of alcohol can liven up even the most boring parties, it can make the next day horrible and completely un-productive and make your head feel like a throbbing mass of shit.
Being a victim of this phenomena many times, I have found out a few ways you can salvage the next day.
First of all, we must know why a Hangover occurs. A hangover is simply dehydration (loss of water and salt from cells) caused due to alcohol.  Dehydration is caused by alcohol’s ability to inhibit the effect of anti-diuretic hormone on kidney tubules, which leads to a hyperosmolar state, which in turn causes shrinking of (by loss of water) the brain cells which causes hangover. Here’re a few tips which can be observed (while still proving to your friends that you’re a man) during and after Alcohol consumption


During:-

  1. Drink large quantities of water. Alcohol consumption does cause excessive urination, and drinking even more water will cause even more frequent urination, but it does help. I generally have one glass of water after every full mug of Beer (or a peg of vodka/whiskey).
  2. Don’t mix different drink types or different types of the same drink type (Hop-based beer with wheat-based beer, beer with vodka, beer with wine etc.)
  3. Eat well. Prefer starchy slow-digesting foods like rice and potato, just don’t sleep empty stomached.
 
After(If you already had too much to drink and now its time to go home):-
 
  1. If you feel nauseous and feel like you want to throw up, do so. Don’t hold the vomit back; instead let go and remove all the excess alcohol from your stomach. This will not only reduce the hangover duration, but will also lead to a good night’s sleep. Do remember to re-hydrate yourself properly though.
  2. Keep a bottle of Gatorade (or similar) next to your bed. You are bound to wake up at night to urinate /feeling thirsty and drinking Gatorade helps. If possible, keep a couple of Dispirins (Aspirin) next to the bed as well and have them during one of the mid-sleep urine sessions. Most of the times, I feel this cures the headache by the time you wake up.
  3. Have plenty of fluids and salts the next day. Avoid having more diuretics like coffee and soft drinks; which will cause more de-hydration.
  4. Do some light exercise. Go running (not in the heat) or do some cardios. This will increase the metabolism rate of your body and metabolize the alcohol faster.
Consuming a large quantity of plain water may cause it to drain more salts out of the body causing a salt imbalance in cells. If Gatorade is not present, Lemonade helps (with lots of salt). 
 
After a lot of unpleasant hangover days, I feel that these days I can get rid of my hangover by the time I wake up or by mid-afternoon max(If I have passed out and don’t wake up in the middle of the night). 
 
Hope this helps a few people out.
Music, Rant

Different types of “Rockers” you might encounter at a Rock concert in Delhi

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Well, going to different Rock concerts in Delhi for more than 3 years, I have noticed how peculiar the crowd is, that comes to these concerts. I have divided them up into the following categories

  1. The Posers:- These are cool Delhi dudes whose main aim in life is to impress  girls and would go to any extent to do so. They come to these concerts impeccably dressed up, cool glasses, hair done up using copious amounts of hair gel. To give themselves the “Rocker” look, they wear things like scarves on their elbows, bad-ass gloves, chains hanging from their pockets etc. To complete the wannabe impression, they talk loudly in fake accented English and address each others as bros/homies/fellow-rocker. Before the concert starts, they would keep shouting things like “We will rock tonight” and “Rock my brains out” etc. It need not be said that their idea of rock music ends at bands like Linkin Park, The Rasmus, Green Day etc. They are mostly accompanied by rocker chick(s) (to be covered later) whom they explain the band’s history in detail and the songs to look out for. They are also apparently friends with at least one of the band members and would try to meet him in front of his friends to prove this to them. During the performance, they would frequently break into fake air-guitaring bent backwards. Why do they do all this? So that they can update their facebook profiles with their photos from the concert so that everyone can know how cool they are.
  2. The Rich:- These are men in 40s from areas like Vasant Kunj, Defence Colony, New Friend’s colony etc. They would come to a concert in their Mercs/BMWs/Jags, dressed in expensive suits with their socialite wives and crap-spoilt-fat children. They would keep checking and replying to e-mails from their smartphones (Blackberrys 2 years ago, Androids these days), “sit” at the back (so that no one steps on their expensive suede shoes) and pass the whole concert without any expression. The children would play games on their iPhones. They would  also look at distaste at the poorer crowd and leave some time before the concert gets over, so as not to mix with the poorer crowd.
  3. The Clueless:- These are mostly Jats & Bhaiyas with a lot of money but no culture/class/education. They would be passing by the venue (in their open air jeep) when they would see a crowd gathered and since they have no jobs or anything else to do, would buy tickets (not without haggling) and come in. Inside they would be clueless as to what is happening and would ask young folks “Yo kay chal rahya se” . Once the band starts performing, they would laugh at the type of music being played and also laugh at the headbanging audience and say ”Inme to bhoot chadh gayo”. But since they paid money for the tickets, they would stick around till the end, abuse everyone and leave.
  4. The Rocker chicks:- I should start off by saying that 99.9% of Delhi girls should not be allowed to enter rock concerts at all. They are an insult to the band as well as they fans. These are upscale Delhi girls. Their idea of being a rock-chick is to apply heavy makeup and wear small clothes (or Lady GaGa T-shirts). They would let their boyfriends (see: The Posers) haggle with everyone to let them be at the very front of the crowd, have the boyfriends (see: The Posers) bring a chair and sit and watch the concert. They would frequently ask the boyfriends (see: The Posers) to muscle their way through the crowds and bring them drinks. After drinking a little, they would dance to the solo of Comfortably Numb with their fellow rocker chicks while their boyfriends (see: The Posers) keep others away lest someone touches them and derives them of their virginity. Needless to say, the sight of such women makes my blood boil.
  5. The Dopers:- These are mostly Delhi University students. They drink and dope before turning up for the concert. They have long hair (if any) and thin emancipated bodies. They are mostly dressed in black with all-star sneakers. Their favourite genre is Death Metal. The louder the music and more incomprehensible the lyrics, the happier they are and more furiously they bang their heads. Between bands, they go to the corner to smoke some more dope (hidden in their socks or underwear) and then return for some more furious headbanging. After the concert is over, they stand clueless outside the venue with no idea of how to get back home. Surprisingly, this is the least dis likable groups of all the above.

PS: Thanks to Papa tere Papa of Baytay for the Haryanvi text.

Hate, Music, Rant

Why Delhi/NCR doesn’t deserve Metallica (or any other band)

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After the Bryan Adams fiasco and concert cancellation in February, here I am, spending another disappointed night at home. Metallica’s first concert in India, one I was looking forward to for months was cancelled. I don’t agree with what most of the news channels are saying; here’re the events as I saw them myself from the venue

  1. Gates were to be opened at 3:00 PM. The security personnel/organizers didn’t anticipate people queuing up since morning. By the time it was 3:00 PM, there was a huge dis-organized crowd, almost 30,000 strong, impatient to get it. The security personnel should have started organizing people in queues from the very beginning (Hats off to concerts I have seen in Mumbai; excellent organization and obedient people)
  2. Before the gates were to be opened, the security staff shouted at the crowd that unless they get into proper queues, they won’t open the gates. A 30,000 strong crowd (especially a metal concert crowd) can’t organize themselves in a queue just like that.
  3. After failing to form a proper queue, the security personnel just opened the gates. The crowd mass directly in the front of the gate surged forward, the ones on the left or the right, sensing that they aren’t making much progress, started pushing the whole crowd. This was sheer torture. For almost 40 minutes, we had to almost suffocate in the unruly crowd and risk being stampeded if we fell down. The ground was uneven. Many girls almost suffocated and had to plead with the crowd to let them leave.
  4. During entry, the security staff failed to keep up with the massive crowd surge. Not all tickets were checked and frisking was a joke.
  5. Once in, the people right at the front rushed towards the stage, banged against the barriers separating the stage from the crowd and broke them. Slowly people settled down and the crew members noticed that the front barriers were broken
  6. Crew members politely asked the crowd to move back a little so that the barriers could be repaired. The crowd did nothing
  7. Another crew member asked the crowd to do the same. They just kept standing like they couldn’t understand what was said to them.
  8. Another crew member called the crowd ‘buttheads’. At this point, the crowd started abusing back (but still didn’t move)
  9. Another crew-member politely told the crowd that the concert cannot start unless the barricades were repaired and that cannot happen with the crowd still pushing against it. Still, nothing.
  10. This went on for some more time. They also flashed the text on the screens which said the same thing. The crowd just laughed, abused and threw bottles towards the stage
  11. The crowd waited till around 18:30 when they were told that the show was postponed till tomorrow because of technical difficulties. At this point, the people standing towards the front went berserk and passing the already broken barriers, climbed up on the stage. They broke microphones, monitors and speakers.
  12. A few people gathered a banner and set it on fire.
  13. While I decided to leave, my last view was of a group of people trying to pull a huge speaker (towards the middle of the ground) down. There was not a single policeman to witness the whole event
I think the following factors contributed to this disaster
  1. The organizers/security personnel had little or no experience of dealing with a Heavy Metal concert crowd. The failed to ensure order from the very beginning. They didn’t anticipate such an early turnout and didn’t make arrangements for queues.
  2. Press says that the organizers were facing technical issues with sound, I cannot comment on this because I don’t know this for sure, but they did goof up big time. They failed to control an already unruly crowd and kept them waiting for too long before breaking bad news
  3. I feel the crowd was the biggest factor. Most of the people were unruly, already drunk/high and very different from rock/metal crowd you see in cities like Mumbai and Bangalore.
I see reports coming in now that the gig won’t be held tomorrow either, but will instead be scrapped. I understand that a band needs some rest between subsequent gigs (Metallica has another gig in Bangalore on Sunday), but the unruly behaviour/vandalism by the crowd ealed their fate. Metallica will not risk performing before such a crowd. Here’s a video

The people of Delhi/NCR don’t deserve to be rocked by Metallica (or any big band for that matter).

Hate, Rant

Kolkata – Still the City of Sorrow

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This is not the first time I am ranting about this city. See these

How to win a cricket match

Why Calcutta sucks…

Kolkata

P.D.A. in Kolkata

Last weekend, I got the opportunity to visit the city after a span of 2.5 years. Here’re a few things I noticed that have changed and some things that have not
Changed:-

  1. Some signs of development are showing up (2 new Metro Lines)
  2. More cars on the roads
Not Changed:-
  1. The filth still exists everywhere and in greater quantities
  2. People still bathe on the streets
  3. The cars still honk like crazy; driving etiquettes are non-existent
  4. City is still severely polluted, buses still run on cheap Kerosene/Diesel Mix
  5. People are still Lazy, un-friendly & in a state of perpetual anger
  6. Kolkata Airport is the worst airport in the country at the moment

The city has a quality of bringing a lethargic feeling even to high-spirited individuals. I used to leave the place I was staying at to go out multiple times a day, only to feel tired in some time and come back.
I had given some thought to shift there in the past few months (to save on money), but all those thoughts are now gone.
 

Education, Rant

Murder of English

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These days, especially in North India (no offense meant), people have a tendency to abuse and murder English. Reading facebook posts always puts me in throes of revulsion. Also, I am not even talking about accent (which is pardonable) or pronunciation yet. These are purely grammar and punctuation errors. This is surprising because English is one of the easiest languages to learn and with the simplest grammatical rules.
It’s more infuriating because most people these days consider it fashionable to use English for conversation within their family, instead of their native language.
I know that English is not our “National” language, but is still very important in today’s age, considering that almost everyone works for a foreign company. If you don’t like English, at least make an effort to correct yourself, failing which just write in any other language.
Following are the predominant mistakes made by people these days. I have included some examples from Facebook.
1. People are misers when it comes to using uppercase at proper places. People don’t start their sentences with capitals. Even worse is when they don’t write their names starting with Capitals. If you can’t write your name properly, you can’t write anything else.

2. When it comes to punctuation marks, the same people are very generous and use them liberally. It is very common to see sentences ending with multiple full stops (I am so sad……) or multiple exclamations (I am so happy!!!!!) or the combination of different punctuation marks (I am so drunk!!! Hell yeah !!!@!@@). People also use incorrect punctuation, as seen in the example above. Here’s another example

This is very surprising, considering that this guy had an affair with our office English coach. I guess they didn’t talk much.
Although, there are some people who don’t use punctuation much and merge several sentences into one.

3. People also make a lot of spelling mistakes, even for simple words. It’s like they don’t even make an effort.

4. People use incorrect grammar. This is the most common and widespread problem among people today.  Its as if they were all sleeping in class for years when the English teacher was working hard to teach us, or that they didn’t want to learn at all. Sometimes the sentences don’t make any sense at all. This is the worst example of English I could find, with examples of all of the above. I didn’t even erase the name

I attribute this degradation due to the following factors

  1. People don’t consider learning English an important thing to do. They somehow pass the exams and then forget about it during higher studies.
  2. Most English teachers in this country are English-illiterate themselves. I was lucky enough to have come across very good English teachers for most of my education timeframe.
  3. People don’t read/write much. Most people in North India (no offense meant) act surprised to know that people actually pay to read novels. One of the most common sentences I hear is “Padhai ki kitaabe kam hai jo aur kitabe khareed li?” (“Don’t we have enough study books that you got some more?”)
  4. The “hip-hop” culture has caused the worst damage to people. It teaches people to deliberately mis-spell and mis-pronounce words. Apparently emulating how black Americans speak (no offence to the black)  is considered cool.
  5. People also suffer from the lack of will to take criticism constructively. Such “correctors” are scoffed at and termed “Angrez” (“Englishman”).
Rant

Why you should not bargain with poor people

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Bargaining is an integral part of the Indian psyche. An Indian has an intrinsic urge to get the best deal out of every situation. They bargain in stores, hotels, taxis, airports and even Restaurants. While some of the bargaining is pardonable (when dealing with situations where the price is not justified), one should not bargain with poor people e.g. Rickshaw-wallahs, auto-wallahs etc. (unless he’s trying to rip you off, of-course)
I will provide an example. A middle-class woman takes a rickshaw from Point A to Point B, the rickshaw puller asks for Rs 20/- for his labour. The woman’s internal instincts take over and she haggles with the rickshaw puller for ten minutes, saying that Rs 20/- is too much and Rs 15/- is what he deserves. She would prefer to waste ten minutes of her time, just to save 5 rupees.

Now I ask this- What is 5 rupees for a  middle-class woman? Not much. Now, what is the same amount for a poor rickshaw-puller who works 14-15 hours a day just to bring food to the table? Certainly much more than what it is to the woman.
Now consider the same woman, in a mall, shopping at an expensive retail store. She wouldn’t bat an eyelid putting down a few thousand bucks for some dress manufactured at a rich designer’s factory, with a manufacturing cost 1/20th of the retail price & not worth it.  It is obvious that the rickshaw puller works 10 times as hard as the designer, but earns less than .0001% of the latter, just because he was born in a poor family and not provided the means to earn anything more.
Also what I don’t agree with is people giving away 10-20 rupees easily to a beggar but not to a person who works hard.
I find it shameful that people haggle for petty amounts with the poor, especially when giving away 5 to 10 bucks would not matter much to the giver, but would mean a lot to the recipient.
Because of such attitude, the rich get richer and the poor stay poor. Just because labour does not have a price tag, doesn’t mean you can decide what it costs.
I would request everyone in such a situation to think if haggling is worth it. If it is going to make a poor man happy at almost no expense on your end, don’t bargain.

Rant

The inscrutable Haryanvis

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This is not aimed at 1 particular Haryanvi, but all of them. Also, I have nothing against them, many of my friends are Haryanvis.
I witnessed a curious scene today morning. I visited the local Puncture repair shop to get my bike tire fixed. While the guy was working on my bike, a Maruti SX4 stopped near the shop with 1 flat tyre. 2 Haryanvis (wearing traditional garb) stepped out and instructed the puncture-wallah in Haryanvi to fix the tire. Let me describe the car in more detail.
It had silver license plates with the numbers written in golden. Completely incomprehensible unless you look at it from just the right angle. Also, there were no alphabets, only numbers. All the windows (including the windscreen) were covered with pitch black (illegal) film. While the door was opened for a few seconds, I could see that the upholstery was bright red in colour.
With the car out of the way, let me describe the folk in detail. They talked in loud voices in Haryanvi, were wearing a lot of jewellery and looked completely un-educated. It was obvious that they were one of the people who had sold their farms at exorbitant prices to the government, had a lot of money and didn’t know what to do with it.
After instructing the Puncture-wallah, they opened the car boot. One of them asked the nearby shop-keepers to bring out a couple of plastic chairs and had them set up on the pavement. The other got out a huge hookah from the car boot. The Hookah was one of the biggest I had ever seen. It was set up in between the chairs. The base was heavy and stationary, the part above it was rotating, to facilitate passing the pipe between multiple people.
Within 5 minutes, the Hookah was lit and the Haryanvis bubbled away peacefully while the puncture-wallah toiled. I have nothing against smoking the Hookah (having tried the non-tobacco version at a Cafe Coffee Day outlet once myself), but what I failed to understand was the desire to have it right there, on the pavement next to a busy road, while the puncture was being repaired.
In sometime, the work done, the puncture-wallah asked them for 400 rupees (he had installed a new tube). The Haryanvis started abusing him vehemently, threatened him of dire consequences, gave him 300 bucks and sped away. While reversing, the car emitted the tune of a popular Hindi song and everyone around them laughed. After they were far away, the puncture-wallah abused them and their mother and sisters vehemently in return.
As for me, I had a good laugh early morning.

Rant

The Great Indian Elevator (lipht) paradox

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One thing I have noticed since a long time (albeit with much frustration) is that Indians can never operate the Elevator (also called lift or lipht) properly. 99.9% times, people press the wrong buttons and mis-use the elevator. A few common scenarios
1. People press the DOWN button to call the elevator down, the UP button to press the elevator.

The UP and DOWN buttons are used to select which direction you want to go. If you want to go up, just press the UP button irrespective of where the elevator is. The next elevator going up will take you with it.
Most of the times, these people end up stopping the elevator going down (when they need to go up), get on the elevator, crowd it up un-necessarily and then the elevator stops again on its way up.
2. People get on the elevator even if its not going the same direction they want to go.
This just crowds up the elevator. The elevator is NOT a joyride, wait for your turn and then get on it.
Sadly, such behavior is not only exhibited by un-educated folk but also well earning people. This is just something that Indians are not capable of.