Category Archives: Rant

Hate, Rant

Freak..

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One place where you can always find freaks in excess is orkut. Here is one of them.

Calls himself the “Sexiest guy in town”. Well, the question is, if the guy really is the sexiest guy in town, why does he have a photo of Vin Diesel on his profile? Apparently, the guy’s biggest passion is girls. The activity he engages himself in is “Making love”. As usual, the music that he likes is “Rock”. I don’t understand why people think listening to rock would make them look cool. And after that they mention their favorite band as “linik park”. Ha Ha!! Thanks to such freaks, people like us have something(one) to laugh at from time to time.

Rant

Rahul Dravid

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Poor guy. Some talented people(like me) are never appreciated in this world. Take Rahul Dravid. This guy’s career has been full of nothing but bad luck & criticism. Started playing for the Indian Cricket team in 1996. Was soon dropped after. Showed commendable performance in tests but never really managed to click in the one dayers. He’s one of the only three Indian batsmen who have scored 10000 runs in test cricket. Also scored a msssive 461 runs in the 1999 world cup and was the top scorer too. He has a reputation of consistency in test matches and the inability of the bowlers to remove him from the pitch. None of this seems to have satisfied critics. Poor guy has been dropped from the team so many times, even he may not remember on a particular day if he is in the team or not. Was made the Indian team captain in 2005 but resigned a couple of years later due to intense criticism. Now, the captain of IPL Royal Challengers, he has sucked even more. It hurts to see a player seasoned for test matches trying to score boundaries and hit sixes fruitlessly and failing miserably. His team has won only 1 of the 4 matches till now and future chances don’t look that good. In the last match against chennai, poor guy got out on the first ball and later was made fun of by the TV channels. After the match Dravid was sitting dejected by the side while his players were smiling and giving interviews. It’s sad to see a good player being made to do something he’s not made to do and then being ridiculed.

Rant

How to win a cricket match

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Imagine getting dressed for over an hour to go see your city’s cricket team play at your city’s “prestigious” stadium. Imagine applying that extra oil in your hair and taking out your favorite dhoti for the cricket match. And then imagine your team losing to Hyderabadi’s. What do you do then? Simple!! You switch off the stadium lights and allow your players to catch some much needed breath.

This is what happened on April 20 at the “prestigious” Eden Gardens. The Kolkata Knight Riders were on the verge of losing the match to the Deccan Chargers. Run rate was way down and the required run rate was increasing like anything. Just when there are 24 runs to be made from 20 balls and you feel that their team may most certainly lose, the Bengalis freak out big time and go sabotage the stadium lights. The batsmen who were under high pressure, get a much needed rest, have some energy drink, stretch their muscles, crack a few jokes and come back to the feel well rested, knock up a couple of sixers and win the match. The official explanation was “Short Circuit”. When have the stadium lights ever been off for a full half an hour in a match of this level? Certainly a little more than co-incidence. Or maybe Shahrukh Khan dropping a few lakh bucks towards the stadium guys..

Rant

P.D.A. in Kolkata

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(P.D.A = Public Display of Affection)

I don’t know what’s up with this city. But one thing that you will abundantly find in all good quality restaurants is P.D.A. This is because of the high price of hotel rooms in city or because people like to show they have girlfriends, I may never know unless I ask some couple myself. They can be found in all the good restaurants and pubs on Park Street. They sit on the same side of the table and are constantly groping and touching each other. Some even go to the extent of smooching openly.. Atleast spare me of this embarrassment if I am ever sitting with my parents. IS this some way to show that you guys are cool? That you are as open and forward as the Americans & the Europeans? Can’t you just get a fucking hotel room and make out? And not surprisingly most of these couples are teens maybe from school. Explains them being wannabes for sure. Unfortunately, even the only place I like in Kolkata, Someplace Else (Someplace Nice :-*) could not escape the infiltration of these “Lovers”. While I try to enjoy the awesome music, there are always a few couple in the eyesight either groping or the guy grinding his thing on the girl’s ass. Moreover, they request for songs of Shaggy, Daddy Yankee(Who the fuck is he? Who’s daddy is he?) and dance on The Doors & Floyd and spoil the atmosphere. You fucking sexually frustrated creatures, why don’t you just go upstairs and rent a room for the night? Why do you have to brush against me again and again?? Go S.O.D. off!!

Hate, Movies, Rant

6 Ugliest Women in Bollywood

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Here is a list of 6 of the ugliest bitches in Bollywood(Indian Film Industry). Wonder why people still like them.

  1. Kajol:- She’s plain ugly. She looks like a man. Her lips are a straight line and her smile is the same ways. She has bushy eyebrows and looks disgusting. Why do people like her? That I may never know.
  2. Ekta Kapoor:- She’s so damn ugly. She has a face similar to and as big as a watermelon cut in half. What I hate more than her face is her soaps and her movies. You always have shit smeared on your forehead too.
  3. Gauri Khan:- She is ugly, but earlier she used to be sober so it was fine. But now she dresses up like some Page 3 model and thinks she’s glamorous. She always also applies some oil on her face because it is always oily and shining.
  4. Esha Deol:-She is clearly the result of a careless fling with a rickshawalla(George Bernard Shaw). With a nose that has been dug with her manly fingers and toes, she is the epitome of ugliness. Born with an irrepairable squint and a completely wooden body sans any form of curves, she has also been endowed with the most shrill voice which will drive you crazy to kill a puppy.
  5. Farah Khan:- She’s the fat baby producing machine who likes to insult other people for their singing. Also produces “s” as “f”. So “suck” is “fuck” and “sell” is “fell”
  6. Karan Johar:- She’s stubby and has a very bad hairstyle. Also, she almost looks like a man. Dresses up like one too.

Hate, Rant

Why I hate kids..

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Because they are disgusting. All of them. I cannot stand them and I hate them. Kids of all age groups suck. The really tiny ones are bad. They look so slimy always covered with drool, piss & shit. They are bawling most of the time and never let anyone sleep within a 20 meter radius. They are in their best form at night when everyone has to sleep. One gets to experience this often if they tries to sleep in the train or an airplane. You just cover up your ears the best you can and hope you die and end the suffering. The ones a little bigger are the worst. They are always running around, full of unlimited energy and make your life hell. They are at their best during the daytime. They break stuff and ruin things. One can experience them in action in malls, restaurants. It makes you wanna strangle the little twerps till they die. The ones in their pre-teens are full of attitude. They think they are better than others and make fun of people behind their backs. You fucking bastards it takes one tight slap to bring you back to your senses. I hate you kids.. I hate you..

Rant

Lazy Bastard..

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Yeah.. That’s what I have become.. I was surprised today to see that a few people still visit my blog. Well the reason why I don;’ blog these days is not that I am too busy to blog. It’s because I have nothing to do at all.. Yeah. That’s exactly what I have been doing lately.. Nothing at all.. I go to office in the mornings, work all day, come back in the evening, laze around, watch TV, read a little and go to sleep. On sundays, extend the sleeping, watching TV and reading hours. Yeah, I have also got my hands on a PSP on which I like playing Grand Theft Auto. It is so much fun running over people with your Hummer or shooting them in the neck so as to decapitate them. I have been doing nothing productive at all. Haven’t touched the guitar in months, haven’t exercised in months. Have had lots of beer and have slept a lot too. Well, I have thought that it’s time to get off my lazy ass and start doing some stuff. Will be starting exercising from tomorrow again and will buy new strings for the guitar this week. Will lay off the beer for a while I guess. Have tried posting this a few times before but my internet connection gives up at the last moment and I haven;t had the energy to do it all over again. He He. Expcect to be posting more frequently from now on.

Rant

How to get over depression effectively..

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Here, from personal experience, I am going to explain how to get over depression effectively and permanently, with the help of a graphical depiction. Time is denoted in the X-Axis and Level of Happiness in the Y-Axis.. The Dark blue horizontal line depicts the zero-level of happiness. The border where happiness turns into depression and vice-versa. The graph is denoted by a light blue line when it is in the happiness zone and by a red line as it enters depression. Points 1 and 2 show common depression ridding techniques like meeting friends, having chocolate or listening to music. As you can see, the graph enters the blue, happiness zone momentarily before sinking into depression again. Also, as you can see, repeated attempts of such techniques cause gradually lower durations of happiness and greater durations of depression. Also, eventually after sometime passes, this procedure doesn’t work at all and you are in a continuous state of depression. Is this the right way to do things??

The Answer is –No!! You deserve much better.

Welcome to Scurvy Dawg’s technique of getting over depression, the quick way. It’s like pulling your tooth out with a jerk. Or, Jerking the tape off your hairy skin.

Next time you go into depression, don’t fight it.. Allow yourself to be gradually consumed by it. Sink deeper and deeper into the gloom. You would feel terrible. You may even cry(It actually helps, believe me) but it would help in the long run. When you think that there’s nothing left going for you, you would hit the threshold of depression. Believe me my friend, if you have reached this far, things CANNOT get worse. Now begins the fast healing process. Observe how the graph rises rapidly. You are gradually cleansing yourself. You are getting rid of all expectations from life. Come on, what you don’t expect can’t fail you. When you cross the happiness barrier and enter into a state of happiness, you cannot help but feel good for yourself. It’s like formatting your hard disk and re-installing the O.S. A new start.. Hope people who have the guts to use this technique are successful..

Rant

Kolkata

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This city fucked me again. Today while going to office I was stuck in a Traffic Jam because some truck filled with human excreta had collapsed on the A.J.C. Road Flyover. It took more than an hour for the jam to clear. Couldn’t even go back because the Jam extended behind us for more than a kilometer and soon the whole flyover was covered with Traffic.

Hate, Rant

Why astrologers suck big time..

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Because they are frauds. And cheaters. They prey on the superstition and ignorance of people and not only do they rob people off their money, but also cause them harm. Few days ago, on TV while browsing channels, I happened to chance upon a show where astrologers cheat people. A class XII pass out had just called and told the astrologer he wanted to pursue engineering and if it was a good time to do it. The astrologer not only asked the person to spell his name in some obscure way, he also advised him not to try engineering this time but wait for next year. I was shocked seeing this!! How could a man play with someone’s future like this? It’s still bearable till you just take money but this was too much? Also disgusting is how they decide if people can get married to each other or not. The whole concept makes me sick to the bone. These fucking bastards are also in league with jewelers from whom they earn a hefty commission when they advice people to wear expensive gems on their fingers, neck and even waist. How the fuck can gems or the positions of planets affect anyone’s future? (Except the astronomers, jewelers and astrologers). Recently in the news, it was reported that Aishwarya Rai (an Indian actress) would cause death to whoever she marries because of the stars. Eventually, before being married, she was married to a tree so that it’s the tree that suffers the horrible fate, not the husbands. This is not only an insult to women but also to the tree which is supposedly going to die a horrible death. Maybe some astrologer would go and set the tree on fire, just to lend credibility to this profession. So meanwhile, Aishwarya Rai is practicing polyandry, which is illegal by Indian law.

You can’t really blame the astrologers. They are just being opportunistic. If there’s such a vulnerability in people at this age, one can’t blame someone for exploiting it. The big question which has me confused is whether the astrologers really believe in what they are doing or whether, even they are subject to superstition(which is an even worse case).

For now, I will satiate myself by making prank callers to astrologers and wishing them a painful existence.

Song of the week:- Time by Pink Floyd