Category Archives: Rant

Rant

Stupid Nokia Guys

Leave a comment

Yesterday my phone got soaked in rain along with me. So took the phone to the Nokia Care Center People. After a long wait, they made me a job sheet. Just take a look at it if you may. Click on the image to open a bigger version..

Here are a few details I would like to point out:-

  1. If I dictate the address as “57”, how can anyone write “ST” instead of that?? I can understand someone may make that mistake while copying but how the hell if Idictate it?
  2. “Diamond Harbour” is spelled as “Dimond Habra”.
  3. 23 is written as 25
  4. I dictated 2 mobile numbers of mine. The stupid guy there has liberally added, subtracted the digits from my mobile numbers till the final numbers are 11 digits in length. Wow!!
  5. “Connected” is “Cannected”. The spelling is in sync with their pronunciation.
  6. “Liquid Damage” is “Liquied Dammege”
  7. “Warranty” is “Warrenty”

Rant

How to become a certified Tamil

9 Comments

Want to become a true Tamil? Need a free step-by-step guide to help you? Well you have come to the right place!!! Just use the following points and you are ready to be a true-blooded Tamil.

  1. Choose a true Tamil name. For the first name, choose any of the names from Selva, Anna, Naga, Chola etc. To this, affix any of the names like Rajan, Arjunam, Swamy by using any permutation/combinations of your choice. You can also have the widely popular name Sarvanam if you are a restaurant or names like Jeevha or Senthil.
  2. Apply half a bottle of coconut oil to your hair and face. Paste your hair in such a way that not even a single strand of hair is able to leave it’s designated position. Also make sure that people around you get suffocated.
  3. Bathing is for fools. Strictly avoid it.
  4. Learn to talk in a sing-song sort of way.
  5. Apply lots of talcum powder on your face so that you seem fairer than you actually are.
  6. Wear a white shirt and a white lungi. Use your lungi to wipe your nose and your hands.
  7. Believe southie movie stars to be gods. Rajnikanth is the ultimate god. Be prepared to murder anyone who insults him.
  8. Erect statues of Gandhi all over the city and start calling him Anna.
  9. Consider North Indians(anyone north of Andhra Pradesh) as inferior fools, be jealous of their fairer skin colour and insult them behind their backs.
  10. Be quite fluent in English and don’t learn a word of Hindi, the national language. While conversing with a North Indian, even if you know Hindi, hide the fact and insult him in Tamil so that he cannot understand.
  11. If you are single, ride a bike. Get atleast 2 of your friends to sit behind you and weave in and out of traffic, hurling abuses in Tamil.
  12. if you are married, ride a scooter and get your whole family to sit behind you and also in front of you. Carry atleast 4 people.
  13. Look the same as everyone else. Select any of these three categories. Clean shaven, moustache or beard and look like everyone in your category.
  14. Put coconut in everything you cook and cook everything in coconut oil.
  15. Take your family for a dinner in a restaurant and sit on any of the tables you find space even if some chairs on that table are already occupied. Don’t order separately for your children. Let them beg for food and then give them morsels from your own plate.
  16. Take your family for a dinner to a North Indian restaurant and order Dosa/Idli. When turned down, make a scene and hurl profanities in Tamil.

If you follow all of these points, you are ready to settle down in this state and feel right at home.

Hate, Rant

Kolkata..

1 Comment

This place still sucks… All these months away, I had expected atleast some improvement but no!! Yes, there are changes, but no improvements. The traffic is as bad and the roads worse. Riding a bike is a pain in this city. The other day, I was almost run over by a tram. Yes, the tram tracks are on the road itself. Whenever it rains, the traffic situation becomes much worse. It’s also hot, humid and dirty.
The only thing good in this city is Someplace Else, the pub at Park Hotel. With Live bands playing every night and booze not very expensive, it’s a great place. The Hip Pockets play there wednesdays and fridays. They are a treat to listen to. They play all the classics and Pink Floyd numbers.
Also, I like cruising along St. George’s Gate road at night. The traffic is measly and you get a beautiful view of driving along the Hoogly river.
Anyways, getting tired of inactivity and boredom. Trying to accumulate the will to start going to the gym and hopefully, will go on Monday.

Rant

Block..

Leave a comment


Seems like i’m suffering from blogger’s block again.. Don’t have anything to write. Just that life’s going at a very fast rate these days. The last month passed by like a whirlwind.. Anyways, don’t think i’ll be blogging for some time now. Maybe when i’m back in calcutta in june..

Rant

Life’s in the dumps..

6 Comments

Lately, life’s in the dumps. If it weren’t for a few good things happening in my life right now, I would surely have gone over the edge. Never was the unpredictable nature of life more apparent than it is now. Somethings happen which you never expect 🙂 , somethings which you expect surprisingly don’t happen 🙁 . The worst thing is that you don’t know why you’re down. You sometimes realize your mistakes but then it’s too late to correct them. Sometimes, you don’t even know what went wrong. Three things really help to keep yourself going in the order of preference- Friends, Music and Chocolate. The company of friends is like a magic cure for such things. But surely, the most difficult part of life is making choices. How you wish someone could help you with difficult choices in life but realization dawns in that it’s only you who has to decide and then face the consequences. People may help you a lot in making those choices but it’s only you who has to bear the consequences.
It’s further depressing that I’m writing this instead of studying for my sessional tomorrow. So I think I’ll be off now to study…

Rant

Happy Birthday Vishal!!

11 Comments

Happy Birthday dude!!! I think it was 2002 we last met. You moved to some other country and were lost without trace. I have tried in vain to find you over the last so many years. Tried everything but you seem to have vanished off the face of the earth or at least the internet. I still remember your birthday though and wish you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Cheers to all the fun time we had together!!! Miss your dog jeanie, your playstation and most of all you!!

Movies, Rant

United 93

Leave a comment

United 93

Went for movie today afternoon show. The movie was United 93. Since the reviews were good on yahoo movies, decided to give it a try. The movie infact was quite OK. But the thing that made it intolerable was the shaking camera. Maybe the Cameraman had Parkinsons or maybe they did it deliberately to spice up the movie but the results were horrible. By interval, everyone had a headache and I felt like throwing up. Some people even decided to go beat up the guy who operates the projector. I contented myself with going off to sleep and waking up much later feeling much fresh. Epilepsy patients beware! The constant screen shaking and the bright flashing lights may trigger an attack.
Rest, life is boring. Spending most of my money on bowling which I am now addicted to. Have return tickets to nagpur for the 18th but may run out of patience early and go back before 18th.

Rant

How will you die?

3 Comments

You scored as Disappear. Your death will be by disappearing,
probably a camping trip gone wrong or an evening hike you
never returned from. Always remeber that one guy who was
hiking alone and got in a rock slide. He could have died, but he
cut his own hand off to save himself. Don’t end up like him
(or worse, dead).

Stabbed
73%
Disappear
73%
Posion
67%
Bomb
67%
Eaten
67%
Drowning
60%
Disease
53%
Suffocated
53%
Gunshot
53%
Suicide
47%
Accident
33%
Natural Causes
27%
Cut Throat
13%

How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com