Category Archives: Rant

Social Networks & I

14 August, 2021 Scurvy Dawg 7 Comments

To say that I don’t like social networks is an understatement. I have used many social networks over the years and most have given me nothing but grief. In this post, I will lay down what exactly I hate about each social network.

I will start with WhatsApp, because this is the one I hate the most. I used it because it was the most convenient way to keep in touch with people. However, I had to delete my WhatsApp account in 2019 because:

Any person who had my mobile number could contact me without my permission.
Everyone could see whether I was online at any point of time.
There was no way to turn off read-receipts in group chats.
Anyone could add me to group chats without my permission. This is something my work people exploited to the fullest. I woke up to be part of a new group every morning.
Images and Videos were shamelessly compressed/resized.
Archived Group chats were automatically un-archived when there were new messages in the group. There was no way to completely ignore some groups without leaving them.
There was no way to get rid of the “Status” notification dot at the bottom.
People sending useless & unsolicited “Good Morning” and “Good Night” forwards.
People begging for things because they are too cheap to spend money

Facebook

This is my second most hated Social Network. I have used Facebook for many years but finally deleted my account in 2019. I tried again in 2021 but didn’t last more than a few weeks. The reason I cannot stand Facebook is because of the nature of posts from people, like:

Attention-seeking whores post irrelevant news that people already have from other news sources. Just for likes and comments.
Attention-seeking whores check-in to different airports to show-off to people that they are travelling by airplane.
Keyboard activism and “social justice”.
Attention-seeking whores posting photos of new things they have bought.
Parents making their kids perform tricks like circus monkeys for likes and comments.
Disgusting religious posts.
Posts insulting people belonging to other religions.
Posts cheering some sports team or sportspersons, as if they are reading these posts.
“Friends” wishing each other Happy Birthday with impersonal AI generated/templated birthday wishes.
People sucking up to the government/leaders.
People insulting the government/leaders.

Every time I try to give Facebook a chance, I either get infuriated by any of the above posts or get drawn into arguments. Surprisingly, the only thing I liked about Facebook were the targeted ads. Normally, advertisements are irritating, but Facebook is so good at targeted ads that they are actually useful. Many times I have been looking for something specific to buy, just for Facebook to show a completely relevant ad in the app.

LinkedIn is supposed to be a “professional” social network, but in reality it is no different from Facebook. People post all the same bullshit things here, that they do on Facebook. And here you cannot even react negatively to posts lest some potential employers see it and get turned off.

On a related note, I have never had a job lead from LinkedIn nor have I seen anyone else get a job lead there when they needed it.

Twitter

I can tolerate Twitter as a news feed as long as I am anonymous & don’t follow people I know in real life.

I can tolerate Telegram to chat with friends because unlike WhatsApp, I can have people not find me using my phone number. I have to give someone my User ID explicitly for them to be able to chat with me.

Keeping away from social networks as much as possible is one of the keys for me to maintain my mental peace and sanity.

Health & Fitness, Rant

A Note on Mental Health

7 August, 2021 Scurvy Dawg 14 Comments

I have documented my struggles with mental health on this blog before. Considering the focus of the media on the mental health of famous people these days, I decided to write a longer rant about my own struggles.

During my college days I was a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. Although I did get depressed once in a while, I was never-ever worried about things. After college, while working a job I didn’t like, I also went through bouts of depression, but got over it quickly once I found a better job.

My second job was the best job, mentally, of my career. I had friends at work, I enjoyed what I was doing and I never even thought about work outside office. It was a shift-job where you could switch off completely after work.

It was in 2012 that I realized something was wrong. I suffered from IBS for almost 2 years. During this time I also turned lactose intolerant. I did read about the close connection between the gut and the brain, but I couldn’t figure out which affected which. After 2 years, I suddenly got better and didn’t think about it again.

Things started to go south again around 2016-17, when I wasn’t able to handle non-stresses from my work. I would lay awake at night thinking about trivial things from work, lost weight rapidly and couldn’t concentrate on non-work things. I tried things like meditation and mindfulness but nothing helped much. The mind just won’t stop racing and over-thinking.

This was the first time I decided to go see a shrink, at a hospital. I was hoping for a quick solution to all my troubles, but she prescribed me with very-expensive counselling sessions. The cost of the sessions made my issues worse, so I never went back. Thankfully, the shrink did give me a diagnosis, that of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Eventually, this phase also passed and I forgot all about it.

I switched jobs again in 2020 and this time anxiety came back to attack me with a vengeance. It was clear that this time it was worse than before. It was so bad that I couldn’t sleep for more than 3 hours for a week straight. Sleeping aids didn’t help either.

Eventually, I decided to go to another shrink. This one was in a busy market popular with people I knew. I was ashamed to go see him. This doctor also confirmed the diagnosis of GAD and decided to prescribe me medications immediately. Within a few days, I was feeling much better. Although anxiety never went away completely, it is now quite under control, thankfully, to this day.

What I do

I use the following techniques to keep my anxiety under control

Medication, which I am slowly weaning myself off of.
Exercise – Even a short run helps a lot. Even walking is better than nothing.
Listen to music I love everyday, without fail.
Writing (Blogging)
Whenever I have too many thoughts at night, I write them on a piece of paper before I go to bed. Next day I action all the items on that piece of paper and then tear it away. I found this strangely therapeutic.
Stay as far away from Social Networks as possible.

I know many people have found relief with mindfulness, but for me it tended to make things worse. Maybe I was not using the tool correctly.

The Rich

On the news, I repeatedly hear stories about the struggle of famous people with mental health, especially sportspersons. Although I am happy that they are raising more awareness for mental health, the impact of mental illnesses on them is much different than it is on regular people like us.

For them, quitting means an outpouring of support and being called “brave”. For people like me, quitting would mean being called a failure, losing my house and not being able to feed my family. So no, I don’t think these sportspersons are brave for quitting. They quit because they are filthy rich & can afford to.

Not everyone can.

Hate, Rant, TV Shows

Suchitra Iyer is the Indian Skyler White

1 August, 2021 Scurvy Dawg Leave a comment

Suchitra Iyer is a character from the Amazon Prime show The Family Man. I started watching the show last week. Although the show itself is decidedly brilliant, it’s this character that struck me most.

For those unfamiliar with the show, Suchitra Iyer, played by the brilliant actress Priyamani is the wife of protagonist Srikant Tiwari, played by the brilliant actor Manoj Bajpayee.

She is a college psychology teacher & a mother of 2 children. She starts off as a good wife, a devoted mother, but soon, little things about her start bothering the viewer.

She starts soft-flirting with her colleague Arvind & leaves her well-established college job to join a startup with him. They are exchanging messages late at night which themselves are harmless, but border on inappropriate. Soon, she takes things further by going on a soft-date with him at a cafe, then at a 5 star restaurant, eventually ending up at his home to tend for his sick daughter. Nothing inappropriate happens, but the viewer can easily notice the sexual tension between them. When Arvind invites her for a “bootcamp” at Lonavala, it is quite evident that something is going to happen.

It does, when they casually share the same hotel room, get dressed at the same time in the bathroom and eventually decide not to drive home at night and sleep over. By the time she messages Arvind (who’s on the couch) that she cannot sleep and then gets up to go to him (and presumably have sex), one cannot stop themselves from hating her. All the while their unattended daughter is almost drugged by a guy and their son almost shoots himself.

Sure, Srikant is a workaholic, doesn’t spend time with his family and provides a very middle-class existence. But the onus of hate is on Suchitra for cheating on him. Srikant get excellent opportunities to ball his boss (Gul Panang no less) but doesn’t even consider it.

The Skyler White Connection

All of the above makes me draw parallels between Suchitra’s character and the character of Skyler White from Breaking bad.

Both characters start off as devoted wives and mothers
They both lead a very middle class existence
Both are pleasantly buxom
Their husbands are considered failures by family and friends
They have no idea what their husbands really do on their jobs
Both eventually cheat on their husbands
Both become quite hate-worthy

At least Skyler had the decency to confess to her husband about her cheating unlike the cowardly Suchitra.

Surprisingly, its Suchitra’s character that I look forward to and enjoy (hating on) the most, in the show.

If you haven’t seen the show, I suggest you watch it, as it is brilliant.

Rant

The North Indian phobia of “Outside Food”

3 July, 2021 Scurvy Dawg 4 Comments

Having stayed in North India for most of my life, I have noticed a peculiar phobia of North Indians. It is towards “outside food” or as they call it “Bahar ka khana”. I have also stayed in West, Central and East India & noticed this only in North India. Basically, most North Indians are extremely averse to eating restaurant food. Going out to eat or ordering food from outside is seen as a failure of the wife or mother in the family.

The first time I remember noticing this was when we had just moved to Chandigarh. We were invited to the home of one of my father’s colleagues for tea. When it was time to go, we excused ourselves by saying we have to go out for dinner to some restaurant. A look of disappointment dawned on their faces, immediately followed by a look of pity. They all looked at my mother and asked her why we “have to” eat out. We just told them that we always ate out on Sundays. They never respected my mother again, a useless wife/mother who won’t even cook for her family on weekends.

Over the years, I started noticing this phobia towards “outside food” more and more. When I would go out to eat with my friends, their parents would look down on me as if I am corrupting them. They would even ask me if “I didn’t get any food at home”. I also noticed that most of my friends never went out to eat with their families, even on special occasions.

I would notice this peculiarity even more when I went to Kolkata during my summer holidays. Everyone ate out all the time. Even my poorest relatives living in small towns went out to eat regularly. During major festivals, people there eat out all day and night. In North India, it just means that the wife/mother has to work extra hard to cook special food at home during festivals.

After my graduation, when I was working in Kolkata, me and my colleagues would order lunch everyday. No one brought food from home. When I moved back to Gurgaon, I noticed that almost everyone bought food from home. Mothers/wives are expected to wake up early every morning to cook lunch tiffins for their kids/husbands before they left for school/work, come rain or shine. When I ordered food, colleagues would be tempted to eat it, but would also be afraid to take their food back home uneaten. Sometimes they ate the “outside food” with me and then also had to finish their lunch.

During the lockdown, ordering food from outside though not illegal, was frowned upon. People always stared at me with disgust while I carried food from the society gate. Can his wife not cook?

In Bangkok, everyone goes out to eat during lunch, except some Indians (mostly North Indians). They all cook their own food in the morning and bring to work with them. During lunch, they go sit in the parking lot and eat that food as our office doesn’t have a designated place to have lunch.

I am not quite sure where all this stems from. Most people I have asked think restaurant food is unhygienic (sure, if you eat roadside food). Most just consider eating at home the normal thing to do and eating out an anomaly. Maybe some of it comes from the looming patriarchy in North Indian culture where a woman’s primary role is to cook and clean. Also, why spend money eating out?

On a positive note, in spite (or because of) all this, North Indians are some of the warmest people I have met who always invite you to sit with them and have a (home cooked, of course) meal. I do appreciate home cooked meals, but I also want a fancy meal at restaurants every now and then.

Rant, Work

A note on Work-life balance

14 April, 2021 Scurvy Dawg 10 Comments

Some people take work too seriously. I regularly see people (especially in South East Asia) living, breathing, eating and sleeping work. It’s so bad that there’s no semblance of work-life balance at all.

Here’s a typical day for some of these people:

Check work email and teams (Online 24×7) messages when you wake up for a few minutes in the middle of sleep during the night.
Wake up in the morning, check teams messages first thing, reply to emails
Get ready and go to work, glue yourself to the computer
Go out for lunch. Check teams messages and emails all the time, discuss work related things with colleagues
Go back to work, glue yourself to the computer
Go out for dinner. Check teams messages and emails all the time, discuss work related things with colleagues
Leave work at 8, check teams chats and emails during the commute home
Take calls from home till 11
Go to bed, check teams chats and emails on the phone when in bed
Work from home on the weekends
Miss your colleagues during holidays, so come to office any way on your holidays
Wash, rinse and repeat

I fail to understand how (or why) some people give their entire life to work with no regards to their health, personal/family time or hobbies. I have been through such (short) phases a few times in my life, too and have come out suffering mentally every time. This makes me wonder even more how some people do this day after day, year after year.

Now, I don’t care too much if such people don’t have care for work-life balance, don’t have hobbies or don’t have friends outside work. I don’t care that for them their entire life revolves around work. But I do start caring when this behaviour becomes the norm at an organization and people expect the same from you.

For me, I am paid a salary and in return, I work. It doesn’t mean that I am not motivated at all, I always try to give the best I can, but I prefer to draw clear boundaries between work and leisure.

I don’t have Teams or work Email configured on my personal phone. If there’s something urgent, they will call me. Unlike the above people, I also do my best to give 100% during the 8 hours I am actually working, I don’t stand around with my colleagues and gossip. Also, I don’t want to see work colleagues at all outside work hours or on weekends. I have a separate social circle for those times.

I am acutely aware that my way of working is not the norm anymore; thankfully I am in a position where I can get away with it.

As a great man said once “Work is work, life is life”. Ironically, he was a workaholic, himself, who later burnt out.

Money, Rant, Work

How I almost got dragged into a Ponzi scheme

10 April, 2021 Scurvy Dawg 3 Comments

This post is about the time when I almost joined a Ponzi scheme. It all started with a colleague “K” who I had worked with, in 2 different companies and had known for many years. I considered him a friend (still do). Now, K always talked about a childhood friend of his, “Z” whom he clearly admired. Z bought a new car, Z bought a PS3, Z is vacationing in Europe etc. Eventually, we all knew Z by proxy.

The Bait

Now, our friend K was not a very sociable person by nature. We hardly met or called each other outside work or visited each other at our homes. So, it was weird when one day K called me out of the blue, on a Saturday and asked me to meet for coffee. When I asked him what’s up, he said he wanted to introduce me to his friend Z and just have coffee together. I didn’t have any exciting plans then, so I agreed.

I met them at a swanky café at a reputable (disreputable, as I later found out) market in South Delhi. K was waiting outside with Z. Z immediately frowned and made a disappointing face when he saw me arrive on my motorcycle. K must have noticed this because he immediately said awkwardly something on the lines of “He also has a car, but is passionate about biking”. Introductions were made and we went inside the café.

The Trap

Z starts by plopping his BMW keys on the table asking me what my dreams are. I tell him that I like travelling. Z asks me how I would feel if some day I could just pack my bags on a whim, go to the airport without any plans and just chose a country from the flight list to fly to. I told Z that an Indian passport doesn’t work that way and Indians can’t just travel to many places without a visa. I must have embarrassed K again because he awkwardly turned it into a joke and we all laughed.

Z continues by telling me he made smart investments in a business a few years ago and now has enough money to do whatever he wants in life. He also tells me that on K’s insistence, and on identifying certain qualities in me (over half a cup of coffee, no less), he is ready to make me a partner in his business. All I had to do, in return, was to make a small investment to get started and then sit back and watch the money pouring in.

Ponzi scheme — Ponzi Scheme, PC: Abaforlawstudents

Immediately, alarm bells start to go off in my head. By this point, I also start to notice that every other table at this cafe is also occupied by people engaged in a similar conversation as us. I understand that I am being baited for some kind of Ponzi scheme and make up my mind that I need to get out, quick. Z asks me for a measly investment of ₹100000 and informs me that the window of opportunity will not be open for long.

I tell him I will go to the ATM and withdraw the cash. He asks me not to sweat it and fishes a POS machine out of his bag and asks for my card. He also tells me they have partnerships with many banks and they can get me a loan in a few hours. I tell him some bullshit about my card being blocked on POS machines and insist on going to the ATM.

The Escape

Z must have sensed I am about to bail because he frowns and says maybe K was wrong about my potential. I immediately high tail it out of the cafe and the market, start my bike and am out of that area in 10 seconds flat without even paying for the parking. I feel my phone ring in my pocket, but reach inside my pocket and switch it off. The entire ride home, I am racked with guilt on ditching my friend K and leaving him in such an awkward situation.

By the time I reach home, though, I realise it’s not my fault. It was K’s fault for using his friendship with me for such purposes and tricking me into such a position. By the time I switch my phone ON and get many missed call alerts from K, I am livid with K for doing this and plan to confront him at work on Monday.

The Aftermath

Over the weekend, I calmed down and realised what must have happened. Z must have convinced K into this Ponzi scheme. K was just trying to recoup the “investment” he put in. I also realised that doing all this must have been even more awkward and difficult for K than it was for me. I began to feel pity for him and wondered how Z could involve someone like K (unsociable, awkward), his childhood friend into such a thing.

When I researched more about QNET and MLM in general, I realised that almost everyone involved (except the people on top) are just trying to recoup their losses. And for money, they will get over their awkwardness, phobias and use their friendships to rope others in.

Monday at work was a bit awkward, K and I exchanged pleasantries but didn’t talk to each other like we used to. It took many days for the awkwardness to subside and many weeks for things to go back to normal. We never spoke about it ever again.

Later, I heard from others that K had approached them, too, but didn’t find anyone who had gotten in. I wonder if K was able to recoup his losses. Maybe some day I will ask him and we will laugh about it.

Rant, Travel

The Inscrutable Thais

16 March, 2021 Scurvy Dawg 5 Comments

I have been living in Thailand for around a month now. I have visited here many times before, but this is the first time I am actually living here. As such, my interaction with Thais has been quite different from other times and for most part, I have found them to be inscrutable. However some aspects of their (unique) character has struck me, which I would describe below:

Most Thais have their main social circle at work. Unlike people who come to office just to work and then go home, most Thais are actually pretty good friends with their colleagues. They even spend extended hours at work (even if it is not needed) just to be close to their colleagues/friends. I found this very weird for the first few days; people at work well past dinner, but then I realized it is more of a “social” thing rather than an “overwork” thing.
Thais love ice in everything. All their drinks are 70% ice. Even some of their desserts are full of ice. Whatever ice is left after enjoying the drink/dessert, they happily eat.
Thais are extremely polite. Most Thais (especially in the service industry) will go out of their way to be courteous. On top of that, they are also very non-confrontational which means you will hardly see fights or arguments on the streets.
For some reason, most of Bangkok malls are full of banks. Most malls have branches of all the major banks and they are open for extended hours and over the weekend. Strangely, the main branches elsewhere have short hours on weekdays and are closed on weekends.
Thais don’t seem to be very fond of wearing jewelry. Also, jewelry stores are not very common in markets or malls (Unlike India) and can only be found in some specific areas.
Thais love the colour pink. Unlike other countries, where the colour Pink would be considered overtly feminine, in Thailand, pink is common everywhere. You will find things like pink clothes (common among both genders), pink cars, pink branding, pink bikes, pink buildings everywhere.
Thais love air conditioning. Be it offices, restaurants, malls, taxis, air conditioning is typically dialed down to an insanely low temperature. Most people from other countries would find indoors too chilly.
Out of all the countries I have been to, Thailand easily has the highest ratio of women in the workforce. Almost everyone in the service industry is a woman, in the tech industry, the ratio is much higher than other countries & women are present at all levels. In fact 15-20% of taxi drivers I get here are also women, which, frankly, I have never seen anywhere else.

Looking forward to getting to know them even better over the next few years.

Rant, Travel

Weird Birthday-2

14 February, 2021 Scurvy Dawg 3 Comments

This year, I had another weird birthday. My last birthday was spent in Bangkok, alone at a hotel. After that, I thought I might never travel to Bangkok again, but coincidentally, not only am I back in Bangkok, I even spent my birthday in the exact same hotel.

The difference was, this time I wasn’t alone, but with family.

Another birthday cake/card from the (same) hotel.

Card — Another birthday cake/card from the (same) hotel.

Spent the day at IconSiam & bought the Apple Watch braided solo loop as a birthday gift. Overall, a nice upgrade from my last birthday.

Rant, Travel

Quarantine Life

31 January, 2021 Scurvy Dawg 5 Comments

Since I left Gurgaon & moved to Bangkok, I have been in quarantine with my family. Almost 1 week in, it has been a bit difficult, but not torturous.

We are not allowed to leave our hotel rooms, except to pick up the food which is placed outside our rooms 3 times a day. Apart from this, our only window into the outside world are the windows with the same constant view.

The only difference in the view is how it changes between day and night & during different hours of the day depending on the angle of the sun.

Looking forward to getting out of quarantine in 9 more days and exploring the city (again).

Rant

I am a judgemental Person

29 January, 2021 Scurvy Dawg 2 Comments

I am not the perfect person (far from it, actually). One of my character flaws is that I am a judgemental person. I judge people by

The make of car they drive. I look down on people who drive certain brands of cars.
The make of smartphones/gadgets they use.
The fact that they have a religious mark on their foreheads.
The area of a particular city they stay in.
How many people in their family live in the same house.
How many kids they have.
What chat app they use.

The list goes on. I hate myself for it, but I can’t help it.

An Insight into my Hindside

Category Archives: Rant

Suchitra Iyer is the Indian Skyler White

The Skyler White Connection

The North Indian phobia of “Outside Food”

A note on Work-life balance

How I almost got dragged into a Ponzi scheme

The Bait

The Trap

The Escape

The Aftermath

The Inscrutable Thais

Weird Birthday-2

Quarantine Life

I am a judgemental Person

Earth bound misfit, I