Category Archives: Hate

Hate, Rant

Why I suck..

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These are the reasons I suck:-

  1. I suck
  2. I am unsuccesfull in most aspects of my life
  3. I am not good at anything
  4. I don’t have anything good going on with me
  5. I am repulsive to girls. They find me hideously inattractive
  6. I have a sore throat for quite a few days now
  7. My sessional exams are coming up from monday
  8. I am a disappointment and a burden on my parents
  9. I am foolish enough to believe people like me
Hate, Rant

Let me sleep you bastards!!

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This is to all the bastards who don’t let me sleep. They make it seem like they have been deliberately planted there to prevent me from having a good sleep It’s not that you do it sometimes.. Everyday you come along an interfere with my sleep. I am talking about you guys :-

  1. The Garbage Man:-You come along every morning at 8. I wake up at 9 so this is the time when I am trying to have the last hour of peaceful sleep. But it seems you have some problem with that. It’s not that you scream or shout or anything. You simply push your metal cart along on the road, banging it on the side with a heavy iron pipe. The sound it makes is simply terrible. Believe me. It’s like you are pounding my brain with the rod. Your speed of pushing the cart is so slow, it takes you atleast half an hour from the point the noise started hitting my ears to the time you are totally out of earshot. Apparently, your ears have already been damaged by your own noise because you cannot hear me hurling abuses at you from the window. Also the bulb(which doesn’t work anyways) that hit you on the side of the face last week was from me. Apparently, you thought someone had thrown garbage for you as you put it in your cart and trudged along without any expression on your face. Dude, If I ever see you or your cart in daylight, I am gonna do some serious damage.
  2. The Popcorn Man:-You make your rounds at around 5.15 in the evening. I am at college all day and have to go to gym at 5.30 so I generally try to get 20 minutes of sleep before that. But NO!! You are even more irritating than the garbage man as your Pan that you bang is made of some metal which reverbrates the sound. Even after you have stopped banging the pan, it reverbrates for atleast 5 seconds. Just like a freaking Bell.
  3. The Bastard with the Santro:-You come home every night at around 3 at night from who knows where. You must be whoring or pimping around as your wife is never with you. You have got this Santro that you have fitted with those gadgets which produce terrible shrieking sounds when you put your car in reverse. Again, this is another of those noises which just seem to pound your brain. You TRY parking your car every night by putting it in reverse. The shrieking sound startles me suddenly waking me up. I try sleeping when it stops but AGAIN you put your car in reverse and hence the noise. You have to put your car in reverse atleast 5 times before you can get it into your gate. Either your driving skills suck bad or you are hopelessly drunk. No wonder your gate is scrapped all around and so is your car. By the time you’re done, I am trying to get back to sleep with a terrible headache. You didn’t have to beat the local puncture-repair guy up. He didn’t deliberately puncture all your tyres, I did.
  4. The Hell-Hound:-You are a pure coward. You seem to be a mix-breed of a Hyena and a Mongrel. You are the Santro guy’s pet. You bark all night long at every passerby or animal. Strangely, I have never seen you bark at anyone when the gate’s open. That time, you are mostly cowering behind the Santro. Anyways, what you did last night was pure shit. You killed the Polio-ridden pomerian of next door and dragged him all over the neighbourhood. Dude, that dog was 1/4th your size. Still, you seem to take over half an hour to do it. For half an hour, I was covering my ears with my pillow as you barked at him and mangled him while the poor bastard was yelping for his life. On top of that, you chose the area in front of my house to do it. In the morning as I woke up and went out to buy my biscuits and milk, I saw that you had dragged the poor mutt to your front gate to display it like a trophy. I am waiting for you tonight with my air-gun you bastard. One shot in each of your eyes should do the trick.
  5. The Luna guy:-Well, you don’t choose a particular time to jar my brain but still, mostly you do it early morning at around 5. You live behind my house. You start up your 30cc moped and rev it’s engine as you would do with a sports bike. You find it necessary to warm up the engine for a full 5 minutes at full rpm before you race away to wherever you go. Furthermore, you don’t do it while your moped is on it’s rubber wheels but when it’s on it’s stand. The whole house of mine seems to vibrate with your moped. Don’t be surprised if you find your moped broken to pieces someday.

Given the chance, I would like to take the oppurtunity to beat each of them into a pulp but I am too lazy to wake up and catch you at the act. But hell-hound, you are dead tonight..

Hate, Rant

Fat=Health?

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Now is India one of the un-healthiest countries in the world or what?? Fitness is a thing unheard of. If you tell people you go to the gym, they laugh at you for wasting time. Now, the worst thing is the mentality of the people here. The biggest myth is, Fat=Health. When some fat guy/gal passes by, people say he’s healthy, not fat. How the hell is fat supposed to be good health? You hear people all around you say “You’ve grown thin! That’s so unhealthy!! Why don’t you eat some butter/ghee regularly to gain weight”. Seriously, is this the right way to gain weight? Instead of going to the gym and gaining muscles, people here eat fat, grow fat and are called healthy. Wake up people, the flab rolling around your body is not “HEALTH”. It’s a shortcut to cholestrol, stroke and eventually death. I think, it will take many years before the mentality of the people here changes and then only can the overall health level of the country improve.

Hate, Rant

Shittiest television ads..

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  1. Clinic All Clear:Bipasha is sitting in some seaside house and John Abraham comes from somewhere on his bike. Firstly, the sound that’s coming from the 100cc yamaha bike is that of a v-twin engine. Also, if you notice behind the scene, you’ll see that John seems to be coming from the pier and there’s nothing behind that except sea/lake and a boat. So is either the extraordinary bike can travel over water or he has carried his bike on the boat. Really disgusting.
  2. HDFC Life Insurance:There are three main characters in this ad. A guy A, his son and his dad. The dad gets off the train. The son offers his hand but he rejects it and gets down himself as he won’t sacrifice his self respect. Next, as they are leaving, the small child trips over and falls hard on the platform floor. His granpa tries to pick him up but his son(child’s father) stops him from doing so as he won’t allow his dad to sacrifice his self respect. What the hell??? If a child has fallen down and is hurt, how does bending down to help him sacrifice your self respect? I hate this ad and it’s on TV on all the channels all the time.
  3. INTEL Pentium IV: Quite frankly, I feel that Intel processors are overpriced compared to their AMD counterparts. But reputation makes it the leading manufacturer in India. Anyways, remember the first Pentium 4 ads? They show people scanning photos, printing them and mailing them. And don’t forget.. You can also store them and also get a “richer internet experience”. This clearly shows how companies like Intel are maiing use of the largely computer illeterate population of India to promote their products. Can’t you scan and print photos on some other processor? How the hell can a processor affect the internet experience?? Does the Pentium 4 have html decoding on-chip? How can a processor affect the internet speed even unless it’s in the Gbps area??
  4. Royal Stag: Saif Ali khan sees a roadside musician playing guitar to earn money. So what does he do? Takes off his shirt, flexes his muscles and starts playing metal. Now, the guitar is a f-cut acoustic. But since saif’s a hindi movie hero, he can change laws of physics and do whatever he wants. The guitar isn’t plugged in anywhere but still manages to stream out loud music. Also, the sound is distorted without a distortion kit anywhere in sight. Distorted sound on an acoustic f-cut which ain’t plugged in? Really magic. Also, a female cop gets out of her car to arrest saif but instead seduced by his biceps and music instead loosens her hair and starts taking of her clothes. Really funny and childish.
  5. Slimming Belts: These products appear on numerous TV channels. What they claim is you just put the belt on for an hour each day and you will lose an inch every sitting. These are american ads translated in Hindi. The people(always 1 guy and 1 girl) always wear a stuoid expressions and fake smiles on their face. The before and after photos are clearly visible as doctored in photoshop. No diets necessary, you just put on the belt and lose fat and gain muscles doing nothing. Wake up people, if this was possible, people won’t be going to gyms working their asses off.
  6. Thums Up: This ad features Akshay Kumar wearing fake long hair. He’s standing on a beach holding a bottle of Thums Up but is unable to find an opener or any other way to open the bottle. So what he does is, climbs up a lighthouse. (Not inside, but the outside and goes right to the top without ropes or harnesses). He holds his bottle high up in the air and allows lightning to strike it. Magically, the cap blows off leaving the bottle intact. He then drinks it holding his head high unharmed by the lightning. This feat will put Benjamin Franklin and his kite experiment to shame for sure and make him cry out from his grave.

These are the most ridiculous ads on Televison these days and reflects the standards of the viewers. There are many more and would post them if I remember them.

Education, Hate

Nerd of the Year!!

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And the nerd of the year award goes to: Subhankar Mohapatra from Orissa.
His achievements : 98.6% in Class 10 CBSE exams.
Really, I don’t envy him. In fact I pity him. Just imagine how sad the life of this perverted twitch would be like. It’s not that he is an intelligent guy. The sicko studies for 12 hours a day throughout a year as he says in a statement in the newspaper: ” I study for 12 hours daily. Hasty pre-examination preparations don’t help much. Hence, I study in the same breadth throughout the year” the twerp says. Now let’s try to recreate the average day of this bstard.

  1. Study : 12 hours
  2. Schoo l : 6 hours
  3. Eating : 1 hour
  4. Bathing, oiling his hair and cleaning his glasses: 1/2 hour

That makes a total of 19 1/2 hours. That leaves 4 and a half hours for sleep.


WHAT IS THE FUCKING IDIOT TRYING TO PROVE??????
What’s he gonna get by making his own life hell?? Ruining the best years of his life poring over textbooks?? Its not that people who get good marks in Class 10 fare well later in life. Higher technical education changes everyone. Bookworms can’t clear job interviews.
I just wish these nerd bastard drop dead and go to hell. The only positive thing they do is making others like me realize how many times better our life is than his..
Song of the day:- How do I live without you- LeAnn Rimes(Con Air Soundtrack)

Hate, Rant

Times of India sucks

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Times of India used to be one of my favorite newspapers till recently. Now I am beginning to hate it. Why?? The answer is simple. There’s more gossip than news. I don’t want to pay even 140 bucks per month to see the same news headlines everyday: Angelina Jolie sleeping with Brad Pitt, Brad Pitt breaking up with Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie going to Africa, Angelina Jolie popping out her baby in a tub full of water, Angelina Jolie naming her baby Africa. When there’s no news of her, then it’s news of Tom Cruise or Kate Moss or some other B-Rated actor. The editor should understand, that the readers for this newspaper does not solely consist of bored housewives looking for gossip. There are people out there who need some real news too. Meanwhile, I am accepting advice from others as to which newspaper I should subscribe to.
Song of the day:- Welcome Home(Sanitarium)- Metallica

Hate, Rant

Why Calcutta sucks…

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Contrary to popular belief, I don’t find Calcutta the city of joy.. Following are the reasons why:-

  1. The whole city is depressing. As soon as I set foot in the city, a feeling of depression fills me.
  2. The climate sucks. It’s 90% or more humidity 12 months of the year. You sweat almost constantly as long as you are out of an Air-Conditioned room.
  3. City is overcrowded. Too many people and too less space. Poverty is among the highest in India. Again, gives a feeling of depression.
  4. People have a myth that living is cheap in Calcutta. Wake up guys, that was long time ago. A packet of branded detergent costs the same in Calcutta as in Delhi.
  5. People have named it Kolkata. Seriously this name sucks even more than the last one.
  6. Strikes almost everyday. People here just don’t want to work. And no, these strikes are not for serious issues. A rule for registering your pet at the municipal office does not call for 2 days of strikes, burning of banners and breaking of shop windows.
  7. People here have a belief that this is the best city in India when most of them haven’t even set foot outside West Bengal.
  8. Too many intellectuals. People here like to sit at a coffe shop, and talk away for hours deciding on how to improve the country. It would be more productive if they worked somewhere for that much time.
  9. Think people from other places are idiots.
  10. Roads are too crowded. No traffic discipline. To use the public transport system, you have to either be a black belt in some Martial arts or prepare to be hustled around.

That’s about all I can think for now. If I remember anything more, I will put the points in the comments area.

Hate, Music, Rant

Why I hate shitty Nu-Metal bands..

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Firstly, I am not insulting the taste of other people. Other people may like these bands and that’s fine with me. This post is about why I hate these bands(Linkin Park, Lost prophets, POD, Papa Roach, Saliva and many more..)

  1. Too much distortion:- They rarely ever play clean and it pisses me off. For me, a good song is a one with a good balance between distortion and clean. Too much distortion is just noise.
  2. No guitar solos:- These bands rarely have any solos in their songs. And not too much lead either. Only power chords with full distortion. What happened to maiden style solos??
  3. Not much talent:- Take Linkin Park for example. Their live concerts suck. You can’t even hear the guitar. And to top it off, they sell their live in Texas video with the audio of the original songs mixed with the video of the concert which makes it look like they are playing perfectly.
  4. Tie-up with hip-hoppers:- You sing with hip-hoppers and you call yourselves rock bands? You are blemishes on the name of Rock. Go to hell and die LP!!
  5. Plagiarism:- You steal the music from older songs or just remix them and insult the songs. One of the best selling songs of Papa Roach is “Between Angels and Insects”. Little do people know that the music is exactly same as that of Prowler by Maiden.
  6. The rickshaw pullers here play “In the end” on their decks.
  7. Your songs simply suck!!!

It’s sad to see that people call themselves rock fans and listen to bands like the ones listed above but have never heard of Iron Maiden, GnR, Pantera, Oasis, Eagles(except Hotel California) etc.. Real rock and it’s patrons are dwindling away, slowly being replaced by Nu-Metal fans which is really depressing 🙁

Hate, Rant

My Hate list..

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This is my hate list. These are the people I would wish to rot in hell for eternity.

  1. Ekta Kapoor:-You are a rich business tycoon. You are also responsible for poisoning the minds of lacs of Indians with your meaningless and depressing tv serials. Your serials contain nothing but shit. Women and men plotting against each other and killing each other. Notable features of your serials are people returning from the dead, getting plastic surgery and changing their faces completely, couples re-discovering lost children after 20 years, villians turning into good people after their mothers reformed them. Sometimes the mother is not high on patience just kills her own son in matrix style, slow motion and thus making a huge sacrifice for the society. You believe that starting your serial’s names with K will make them a huge hit. You even introduce multiple ‘k’s in the names. If I ever get my hands on you, I will strangle you to death but not before I torture you for days on end by showing you your own serials.
  2. Smriti Irani:-You play the self-sacrificing daughter-in-law on many serials on TV. You look really bad and you make matters worse by dousing your face in false tears most of the time. In real life, you were homeless and when your best friend gave you a place to stay under her own roof, you eloped with her husband. You killed your own son on TV. You shot him matrix style and when he didn’t die, you strangled him in the hospital bed. But you as usual, come out to be the great sacrificer. You support frauds like Ram Dev Baba. I hate you as much as I hate Ekta Kapoor.
  3. Courtney Love:-You killed Kurt Cobain and got away with it!! You deprived the world of his great music. Thanks to you, I will never see him perform live. You have appropriately named your band HOLE. You can’t even take care of your daughter Frances Bean Cobain because most of the time you are in prison or a rehabilitation centre. You even bared your non-existant assets playing live on stage. I will hate you till eternity.
  4. Jay Z:-I really used to like Linkin Park till you came and poisoned their music with your f*****g hip-hop. I had to tear away the LP posters and throw the cds out of the window. Your head is shaped like a potato, your torso is shaped like a potato and your whole body is also shaped like a potato. You are also going out with beyonce(I hate her too).
  5. Anu(s) Malik:-You are the biggest Plagiarist in the history of India. You shamelessly plagiarise songs from other artists. Americans, British, Indian songs all have been victim of your Plagiarism. How can you copy a song word by word/music beat by beat and claim it was just a co-incidence? And your excuse of getting inspired from someone’s music also doesn’t work. I am inspired by Nirvana but I can’t play Smells Like Teen Spirit with my friends, record it and start selling. It’s an insult both to the intelligence of people and the artist. You are a big snob even on Indian Idol. You make fun of people openly. You even introduced yourself to Pierce Brosnan as the biggest music director of India.
  6. Clubber Lang:-You are a fictitious character, but I still hate you. You killed Mickey Goldmill in Rocky 3. I will never forgive you for this.
  7. Donald Trump:-You look like a dork. Just because you are rich, doesn’t mean you are attractive. All those beautiful women you go around with are just with you because of your money. Your hairstyle??? I hate comb-overs and hate you. I will prefer to starve than work with you.
  8. Queen Latifah:-Just your name cracks me up. Queen??? Of what? The gutters? You look like a hippo. You even have the nerve to dance in front of millions. I am also jealous of your biceps. I wish I had such huge biceps and broad shoulders. You are so manly!!!
  9. Britney Spears:-I hate your songs and I hate you. I also hate Christina Aguilera but since I cannot find any difference between the lot of you, I have only allotted one entry. You look and dress like whores and expect people to watch your songs to see you dancing around half-naked(which they do). Your music sucks. You can’t even call it music. The hyenas of the neighbourhood are much more musical than all of you put together. You tried to imitate Ross and Rachel in FRIENDS and got married drunk and got it annulled a few days later.
  10. 50 Cent:-Or half dollar as grooveguru calls you, you are self proclaimed pimp. You used to peddle drugs and got shot in the face. Suddenly you realised how the quality of music has come down in the recent years and thought you had a good chance at getting rich legally. You recorded songs, danced around the screen with naked girls, calling them hoes and yourself a pimp and much more obscenities much to the delight of the listeners who squeal with pleasure as they hear your songs on screen.
Hate, Music

I hate you Black Eyed Piss!!

6 Comments

When a year or so ago, I heard the song “Where is the love” by the Black Eyed Peas, I immediately fell in love with it. “Here’s a hip hop band with good songs”, I said, even though I didn’t fancy the other songs. Recently, I was sitting in front of the TV, surfing channels frantically. As I passed through VH1, I saw the Black Eyed Peas on stage about to perform for some awards(I don’t remember which). So the girl announces, “Now we are gonna play our latest songs – My Humps”. What??????? Did I hear right?? My HUMPS???? Open mouthed, I watched them perform this song. Was something wrong with my hearing or were they really singing these lyrics???
What you gon’ do with all that junk?All that junk inside your trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)
Some other examples of the explicit lyrics sung by the girl with a provocative swaying of her hips are:-
They say I’m really sexy, The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me, Always dancing next to me,
Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin’ at my lump, lump.U can look but you can’t touch it,
If you touch it I’ma start some drama,You don’t want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don’t pull on my hand boy,You ain’t my man, boy,
I’m just tryn’a dance boy,And move my hump.
As the song finished, I sat dejected on how the quality of what they call “MUSIC” has degraded severely. They call this darned thing music???? Lyrics seem to be written by a frustrated 12 year old girl. There’s no music to speak of and they call this music. And they even have the nerve to perform these songs on stage. This got me thinking about the trend international music is going these days. Almost any music channel you switch to, you just find hip-hop songs, all promoting the use of drugs, guns and public sex. Even the rock bands are turning hip-hop(Linkin Park-I hate Jay-Z). Same with Indian music.
I am seriously disappointed by the music of today because of which I have to wait for months for a good album to come out. (See Rolling Stones-Rain Fall down)